


Wherever that may be

by Effymaybe



Category: BLACKPINK (Band)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-21
Updated: 2020-04-02
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:33:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 81,032
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22836340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Effymaybe/pseuds/Effymaybe
Summary: Jennie and Lisa are connected. They meet every time, fall in love every time. They are meant to be together, but destiny doesn't seem to be on their side. Jisoo and Chaeyoung step in. Their task is to make it work.
Relationships: Jennie Kim/Lalisa Manoban | Lisa, Kim Jisoo/Park Chaeyoung | Rosé
Comments: 146
Kudos: 209





	1. Arc I (1) - 550 AD

**Author's Note:**

> This work is quite different from anything I've written before. It's still in process, but I'm having lots of fun writing. The story will be divided in arcs. Each arc will be (hopeufull) posted on Friday or Saturday. I hope you have a lovely ride through time.

Jehanne lets her expensive footwear tap quickly against the muddy grass. It’s grown, and it tickles almost uncomfortably against her immaculate ankles, but she’s too absorbed in the feeling of the wind running through her hair to care.

She feels happy, an emotion that she knows -she’s always known- is interlaced with fear. 

Jehanne flashes left and right with her head low. Her heart palpitates against her chest with a feeling of invincibility, all eyes around her somewhere else, apparently unsuspecting.

What she doesn’t know is that peasants have more urgent things to worry about than the young lady running away from her castle once again. She will be found, anyways. The walls around the kingdom extend almost endlessly, strong, as impenetrable as the eyes of the thousands of soldiers that remain stoic in front of them.

She will be found, eventually, and be scolded, or even, if the queen requires it, hit with a paddle and left without dinner. But nothing terrible will happen to the young lady. She’s meant to grow side by side with her brother. She’s meant to be a proud loyal. She’s meant to marry a powerful lord; a king, even.

But Jehanne can’t think about that currently, because she’s only nine years old, and because her short legs are starting to feel weaker now, as she reaches the outlines of the kingdom. 

She widens her unexperienced eyes, loads and loads of greens and yellows and oranges reaching further than she’s ever imagined.

Outside the city, her homeland is populated almost only by grain and animals, only a few people, far beyond, drawing figures as they work mutely. Milking, and reaping, and shearing, and Jehanne has to close her eyes because the ache in her stomach is only increasing, and she refuses to ever stop.

She only thinks about walls and freedom, so her mind can’t catch on with the body in front of her until her own petite figure collapses against it.

She falls on the grass, ending up in a sitting position, and a feeling of mild pain makes her furrow her brows before even opening her eyes.

“Oh, I’m so sorry”, a high-pitched voice exclaims, and Jehanne finally takes in her human obstacle.

A long-haired brunette girl -probably around her age- is looking at her behind long eyelashes, wide, doll-like eyes dripping a concern that it’s almost unrecognizable for the young lady.

She stands up immediately, faintly remembering her position - _you are a lady, Jehanne, act like one_ , and crosses her arms against her chest, puffing it a little.

“Watch where you are going!”

“I’m so sorry”, the girl repeats, an Jehanne is surprised to find it difficult to stay mad, “you appeared out of nowhere”.

“I think anyone would have realized I was coming”, the shortest brunette argues, her pride somehow strained.

“Sorry”, the long-haired girl states for the third time, and Jehanne realizes she doesn’t want to hear that word coming out of her puffy lips again, “you were running very fast!”.

The lady’s mouth twitches a little, and her eyes grow less obscure.

“Are you saying the truth?”

“Yes! Really fast. Like a lightning”.

Jehanne can’t really suppress the smile that tugs at her lips.

“It’s because I was running away”.

“Why?”

The lady thinks for a moment.

“I don’t know”.

The tallest girl hums in agreement, and Jehanne thinks they’ve acquired some kind of a connection.

“What’s your name?”

“I’m Lizbeth. What’s yours?”

The lady blinks a few times. Nobody ever asked that question. She knows what she’s supposed to answer – _I am Jehanne, lady of Goguryeo, second in line after the reign of my virtuous father, Haemosu, sovereign of Goguryeo_. 

“I am Jehanne”, she says, and her sunny companion smiles widely.

“It’s a beautiful name!”, she exclaims, and Jehanne tilts her head with curiosity.

She’s been told that her name is elegant, royal, powerful, but never beautiful.

Beautiful is also nice, she considers, and gifts Lizbeth a slight smile.

“Do you want to eat some fruit? It’s my free time”.

The lady nods. The mention of food makes her stomach grumble.

She expects Lizbeth to search for food a home; to run inside one of the small huts that stand shakily along the land, but instead, the girl looks up at the trees besides them.

“An apple?”

The lady blinks a few times.

“Yes”.

Lizbeth smiles again, then, the sunset starting to coat her soft features in orange, and begins climbing a tree.

Jehanne widens her eyes in panic, watching her young new friend maneuver her body between the branches.

“Lizbeth!”, she exclaims, out of fear.

The youngest girl stares down at her, unfazed.

“Yes?”

Jehanne licks her lips, suddenly speeches. _Why is this girl so careless?_

“Don’t fall, please”.

Lizbeth smiles softly.

“I won’t, Jehanne, don’t worry”.

The shortest brunette nods, and really, for the first time, takes a look at her companion. 

Her knees and elbows are busted, covered by burning red, in a way it makes Jehanne feel that falling out of a tree wouldn’t be the worst pain she’s ever experienced. Her limbs, slim - too slim – are scratched here and there, and even her doll face is corrupted by some harsh cuts.

Jehanne was told that not all children, not all people live as she does, as a pass-by comment, something she should be mindful of here and then, but only at that moment she’s beginning to realize what her mother – the Queen – means by _different_.

The queen has also mentioned bad people, and horrible smells, and dirty clothes.

Lizbeth does own dirty clothes, and the whole place smells horrible.

But it’s hard for Jehanne to think that she’s a bad person, especially when the tallest girl is handing her the most appetizing apple she’s ever seen.

“I told you I wasn’t going to fall”.

“Thank you”, Jehanne answers, and she means it for the first time in her short life.

Lizbeth sits on the spot, her legs crossed, and Jehanne imitates her.

She nips at her apple. It’s truly the best she’s ever had.

“Where are you from?”, Lizbeth asks.

“The city”, Jehanne answers.

She turns slightly to stare at the sun going down.

It’s lovely.

“I have to go back home in a while”, she murmurs.

“Why?”

“The Qu- my mother is looking for me”.

The tallest girl hums.

“Where is yours? Your mother, I mean”.

“She’s not here”, Lizbeth answers simply.

“She’s in the city?” Jehanne asks. Maybe she’s met Lizbeth’s mother before. Maybe she’s run past her as she was reaching for freedom.

“No. She’s nowhere, I mean”.

Jehanne looks at the way her friend’s eyes glisten. She feels a pang in her heart.

“And your father?”.

Lizbeth extends her finger far, far beyond the fields.

“Over there… I think”.

“Is he coming back?”

The tallest girl thinks for a while.

“I don’t know”.

They stay in silence for a few minutes, but it’s not the silence that makes Jehanne twitch, wonders what she did wrong, prepare her body for a low bow.

It’s a peaceful, sunny silence, and her ears begin to get accustomed at the chirping of the birds above them.

But nothing lasts forever, and Jehanne is still a lady, and she still lives in a castle, and she’s still second to the throne.

“I need to go”, she says, standing up.

Lizbeth gives her a look that emanates sadness and warmth.

“I’m coming back”, Jehanne says, immediately.

The youngest girl smiles as she’s heard hundreds of broken promises.

Jehanne blinks a few times before launching her body forwards, catching her new friend in a spontaneous embrace, and she repeats her promise right at her ear.

When Jehanne is already running back to her castle, she turns around to see Lizbeth waving, a big smile plastered in her beautiful face.

-

Jehanne goes back the next week. And the next one. She escapes from the gates of her castle -her family’s castle- and takes off her expensive footwear to let her steps find their way back to an awaiting Lizbeth.

In exchange, the young girl gifts her fruits, flowers, and secrets.

When Jehanne turns ten, she learns with Lizbeth how to climb a tree, how to braid her friend’s hair to make it look softer, how to laugh openly without caring about the consequences. She learns that Lizbeth likes to be called ‘Liz’. She learns how to sing along with the many birds that accompany their meetings.

When Jehanne turns eleven, she learns that Lizbeth’s eyes grow teary in delight when she eats the royal cakes she sneaks between the folds of her dress just for her friend, even if the decoration is pretty much ruined. She learns that the tallest girl cooks her own food, washes her own clothes, earns her own -few- gold coins. She understands that the world is unfair. 

When Jehanne turns twelve, she understands the limits of freedom. She the relishes on the feeling of holding somebody right in the heart. She discovers that she doesn’t like to be called Jehanne- not by her friend. She discovers that she is not fond of ‘Anne’, neither. When Liz comes out with the nickname ‘Jenn’ - _making it shorter, you see? It sounds pretty_ \- Jehanne understand the feeling of fitting right in, _somewhere_.

One day, Jehanne already thirteen, she steps into the outlines of the kingdom feeling somehow uneasy. She looks towards where Lizbeth is expected to stand, waving her arms excitedly, a big smile warming up her face.

But she’s not there.

Winter has started to settle in. A soft, frozen drizzle hints the arrival of the snow. The land taken care by Lizbeth and her father -sometimes, when he has forgotten about his women- is now unusable. But Jehanne knows that her friend welcomes the weather with a smile, _everything_ with a smile, and takes advantage of the cold to take proper care of her animals until she realizes it’s time for Jehanne’s arrival.

But this time, she’s not waiting.

The young lady rushes towards her friend’s hut with a heavy feeling anchoring her heart. _Maybe she forgot, maybe she’s too busy, maybe… oh… what if she’s sick? She’s so slim, she couldn’t possibly…_

But as she gets closer and closer, Jehanne is able to outline the figure of Lisa petting one of her favorite horses slowly, her mouth curling in a way the lady is sure she has never seen before.

When Jehanne stops running just in front of her, her friend merely looks up with a neutral expression.

“Liz, oh, I thought something had happened to you. I was expecting you to be-”

“Why you didn’t tell me?” the long-haired girl asks, and Jehanne pauses her panting.

“What?”

She watches as her friend’s stoic expression begins to crumble, big eyes giving her feelings away.

“Why you didn’t tell me that you are a princess- _the_ Princess?”

She launches her body back, almost as if afraid of the answer, as her horse walks away.

“Liz…”

“Is it… Is it because I’m a peasant?”

Jehanne feels the way her throat starts to burn in guilt.

“No! I guess… it was like that at the beginning, but, I didn’t know how to tell you after…”

Her voice dies as Lizbeth blinks quickly to hold her tears.

The princess feels her eyes prickling as well.

“You were afraid of me? You thought I would rob you?”

The tallest girl hugs herself and Jehanne takes two steps further, feeling completely helpless.

“Of course not, Liz. I trust you with my heart. I am honest when I tell you that I didn’t know how to do it. And… I guessed you had already found out, and were just reticent to ask me”.

“I figured that you were a part of the nobility, because of your dresses, and your hair, and your hands. I didn’t think, even for a moment, that you were the Princess! I had to find out…” her words strain her throat, “My father told me…”

“What did he say?” Jehanne urges.

“That I am _charity work_. If this is what I am, Jehanne… Your Grace, please, stop it. Please, stay in your castle. Please-”

“You are not charity work, Liz, you are my best friend in the world”, the lady shouts, hot tears coating her cheeks.

Lizbeth looks at her for some moments, her eyes wide.

“You are my best friend”, Jehanne repeats, and get closer to the tallest girl, “okay?”

Lizbeth sobs and hugs her tightly.

“The Queen wouldn’t like that”, she murmurs at her friend’s ear.

“I don’t care”, the lady answers.

The tallest girl pulls away, clearly scandalized.

“Jenn!”, she scolds.

“The Queen is my mother. I’m allowed to say that I don’t care about her opinion”.

“Really?”

Jehanne smiles shyly.

“Not really. But you won’t tell. I trust you”.

Lizbeth’s eyes grow softer once again, honey swimming around dark pupils.

“You are my best friend too”, she confesses, and Jehanne smiles brightly.

“Good to know, because only my best friends are getting the piece of cake I’m hiding in my dress”.

Lizbeth gasps loudly as the shortest brunette runs away playfully, her cat-like features shinning in delight.

The girls play, and twirl, and eat as the drizzle turns white.

-

Jehanne turns fourteen on a sunny day.

A day meant to be enjoyed outside, with the sun coating her skin, with her feet bare against soft grass. It’s a day meant to be enjoyed with people that makes laughter light, beautiful. To Jehanne, it is a day to be spent with Lizbeth.

Instead, she is around the stone walls of her castle, with servants taking and leaving tray of foods that she knows not her family nor the minor lords will ever finish.

“I hope you are enjoying the celebration, Jehanne”, her mother speaks, loudly enough for the whole dining hall to listen.

The young lady knows that her words are meaningless.

She takes a look at her father, the King, devouring a piece of smoked deer with his right hand as he laughs open-mouthed at some of her older brother’s jokes.

“Fourteen is an age for enjoyment… but also for responsibilities. There is plenty a lady needs to know to become a proper royal”.

Jehanne’s father stops laughing for a moment.

“A proper _queen_. We won’t settle for anything else. Jehanne will marry a king. Our reign will be invincible”, he says excitedly, and proceeds to chug his dark wine.

The minor lords surrounding the table snap their vases against the table to cheer on their King’s words.

Jehanne remains silent.

“For now, however, _enjoyment_ ”, the Queen states, and turns to look at her daughter into the eyes for the first time in the day. “Bring the gifts!”

A small army of maids enter the room carrying piles of presents in her arms. The young lady only needs to take a quick look to realize that most of them consist of expensive jewelry and dresses. She stands up as she is supposed to, bows as she is supposed to, smiles as she is supposed to, and begin the insufferable process of opening each gift in front of the audience.

The attention is on her for only a few minutes, anyway. Her brother returns quickly to the spotlight as one of the minor lords requests him to tell the stories of her latest voyage. Jehanne couldn’t be too bothered by the fact, anyway. She lets herself breath more freely under her tight costume. As she stares at her gifts, she thinks about her best friend.

“What will happen with my old dresses, mother?”, she asks, prompting the Queen to look at her once again.

“Oh? We might throw them away. Or give them to your maid, if you think she deserves it”.

“My maid?”, Jehanne asks in confusion.

She doesn’t have a whole maid for herself. Her mother, however, does. The lady goes after her mother’s every steps, cleaning her personal space, combing her hair, helping put on her dresses, and providing with emotional support if necessary.

“Yes. You must choose one immediately after the party”.

“So can I choose her myself?”

Her mother turns to stare at her son again, her eyes filling with a pride Jehanne has never seen directed towards her.

“Of course. As long as she’s a peasant”.

Jehanne nods, and smiles to herself. Her body starts buzzing with the prospect of the joy it would bring her to have Lizbeth living in the castle with her.

She can only hope that her best friend says yes.


	2. Arc I (2) - 550 AD

Lizbeth says yes.

She doubts firstly, and tells her friend that the lady doesn’t _have_ to, that she’s just a peasant without any knowledge about royal matters. Jehanne grasps both her hands tightly and tells her that it doesn’t matter, that she just wants the tallest girl around, that she would be sunshine illuminating the dull stone walls.

Lizbeth tears up a little.

And she says yes.

The young girl tears up again once she sees the magnificent castle that Jehanne has never really called home. She opens her eyes wide as her best friends tours her around, murmuring the stories of the paintings, the statues, the carpets. She gasps at the sight of the bed she’s meant to occupy, _all to herself_. She stares dreamily at the baths Jehanne promises she’ll get to use to wash herself, and smiles brightly at the many dresses that the young lady thought they would fit her friend’s lean figure.

Jehanne observes every single one of Lizbeth’s reactions. Every sound, every movement, every smile. She grins throughout the whole introducing process, her heart light as it has never been, so close to her royal peers. Lisa bows down low when she is presented to the Queen -just like she is supposed to. The sovereign barely glances at her with disinterest, but Jehanne knows that she would speak up if her daughter’s decision was unaccepted. Lizbeth also bows to greet the maids that are supposed to teach her the secrets of their job. They stare at young Lisa with slight apprehension, and one of them even sighs. Jehanne actually thinks about dismissing all of them, forcing them to leave their castle, _how they dare treat her best friend badly_ , but Lizbeth’s hesitant grin stops her from doing so. Jehanne wants Lizbeth’s first day in the castle to be perfect. At least the first day.

Then, she will deal with minor details. With Lizbeth at her side.

-

Despite the maids’ reticence, Lizbeth learns fast. She cleans again and again until the furniture shines. She combs Jehanne’s hair until chocolate threads imitate the light of the sunrise. She irons, and buttons, and even sews until her hands get slightly callous.

Jehanne wonders, sitting in her immense bed while her friend tries to erase a strain in a creamy dress, whether her proposal was more of a curse than a blessing. The thought makes her heart ache, and she can’t stop herself from reaching to grasp Lizbeth’s hand with her own.

“Leave it; It’s not important”.

The tallest girl smiles softly.

“It’s one of your favorite dresses”.

“It’s not important. I will be getting a lot of them next week, so I might have another favorite”, the shortest brunette insists.

Lizbeth stares at the piece of clothing, and then at their linked hands. She decides she can take a brief pause from her duties.

“It’s hard to believe you are turning sixteen so soon, Your Grace”.

Jehanne frowns deeply, but keeps her hand in place.

“Don’t call me that”.

Lizbeth chuckles slightly.

“Sorry, I got used to it”.

As she sees that her friend is still upset, the tallest girls brings their joined hands to her mouth, kissing Jehanne’s knuckles softly.

The young lady feels a rush of fondness tingling in her heart, making her cheeks hotter. She stares at her friend almost in a trance.

Lizbeth stares back, but doesn’t pull away. Never pulls away.

It seems almost impossible for the girls to _ever_ pull away.

“I’m sorry”, the tallest girl says finally.

“It’s fine”, the lady answers, “I can never stay mad at you for too long”.

Lizbeth smiles brightly, and her friend mirrors her grin.

-

Jehanne spends the afternoon of her seventeenth birthday surrounded by people that love her title.

She spends the evening of her seventeenth birthday with the person who loves her.

They sit in front of the windows of the tallest vigilance tower – the one that is seldom used in times of peace – shielded by an almost magical mist.

Jehanne is wearing the most frivolous dress her mother could choose for her. Lizbeth is wearing one that once belonged to the lady.

Jehanne thinks that she should be jealous of the fact that it looks better on her friend’s tall figure than on herself. 

What she’s currently feeling is quite different.

She’s heard about crushes, about lovers, about romance. Daughters of minor royals have whispered in twisted gardens about their desire to try all of the above. They have mentioned warriors, princes, and even peasants.

Jehanne has felt somehow connected to them; she wants to experience the beauty of passion. But when she thinks about love, all she can think about is Lizbeth. Lizbeth and her expressive eyes, plump lips, deep voice. Jehanne can only think about the curve of her nose, her long fingers caressing her scalp, her fruity scent engulfing her completely.

She thinks that it is not fair. Not fair for herself, to be different, and not fair for Lizbeth, lovely Liz, who is willing to give it all without asking anything in exchange.

Lizbeth deserves the moon, the stars, and the sky, and not _this_.

“Jenn, you are crying. What’s wrong?” the tallest girl asks in concern.

The lady sobs.

“Was it the celebration? Did your mother say anything mean to you? Please, let me know”.

The tallest girl wraps her right arm around her best friend’s shoulders, an Jehanne feels as her body reacts helplessly at the contact.

“I’m so sorry, Liz. I just cannot help it”.

The long-haired girl grasps Jehanne’s chin with her hand, turning her soft face lovingly so they can stare at each other.

“What can’t you help, Jenn?”

The shortest girl takes a deep breath.

“I love you”, she lets out.

Lizbeth stares at the princess for a few seconds. She doesn’t pull away. Her mind works out the meaning of what has been said slowly, letting everything in.

She doesn’t need any further explanation. She knows her friend like the palm of her hand.

So when she leans in to catch her princess’ lips between her own, she does it without hesitating. Jehanne kisses back, instinctually first, and delightfully after two beats. The mist outside reaches their minds and fills them in completely, everything becoming fuzzy, and marvelous, and addictive. The lady lets her hands cup the tallest girl’s neck, unwilling to let go. Lizbeth answers by tilting her head experimentally.

Once they pull apart -never too apart- Lizbeth speaks first.

“I know this is not supposed to be. But it feels right”.

“It is _perfect_ ”, Jehanne answers.

They stare at each other as if they were infinite.

“I love you back, Jenn”, Lizbeth murmurs, “so much I think it spills out of my heart”.

The lady pulls her maid in once again.

-

Jehanne keeps carrying on her duties as she is supposed to. She keeps attending private classes, learning how to be a proper lady. She keeps donating to charities, keeps bowing down to her parents and brother. She keeps reciting speeches for the events she despises again and again, until her throat hurts slightly. She keeps working on her manners, almost perfect, always _almost_ , and keeps learning whether dresses are too elegant, too ordinary, too revealing for each royal gathering.

Lizbeth keeps carrying on with her duties normally, as well. She cleans, and washes, and braids, and brushes. She bows at every loyal, her head low, as she moves around the castle quickly, making sure that everything is properly adjusted for the Princess. She tries to keep the lady’s chambers as organized as possible, cushions fluffy, nightgown warm, curtains straight. She asks for permission to cook special plates for the young royal to keep her mood light, even after hours and hours of practicing how to eat dinner as _supposed_. 

When they are together, when they are free, everything vanishes.

Jehanne searches for rosy pinks as soon as their privacy moments begin, with a look of need that takes Lizbeth’s breath away. They mumble sweet words between open-mouthed kisses, each time feeling more and more _too much_ , more and more _not enough_. The tallest girl caresses her lady’s flawless skin slightly lower, bolder. The young lady can only let a sound slip out as her hands tangle in mahogany brown.

One night, six months after Jehanne’s eighteenth birthday, and with the hint if a starry night shining through white curtains, Lizbeth feels her mind drifting away. It’s not a scary feeling; It brings bliss, actually, and it makes her fingers and heart ache for more. She’s feeling too dizzy to realize that her mouth is kissing lower, lower than ever, and that the lady beneath her is starting to pant more quickly.

When her instincts take in, and her teeth nip at the elegance of a neck, she hears a soft gasp. Lizbeth pulls away immediately, blushing profusely, ashamed. She stares down at her lover, sharp features illuminated only by the dim light of a few candles. She’s about to stand up, to run away from the castle, from _anywhere_ , but Jehanne keeps her firmly close.

“Why did you stop?”

Lizbeth looks at the princess with wide eyes.

“Do you want me to… go on?”

Jehanne brings her maid closer, engulfing her in a heated kiss once again, her fingers looking for the hem of her nightgown.

When Lizbeth kisses her jaw, Jehanne hums in delight.

“Yes. I want you to… I want you. Please. I love you”.

“I love you too”, the young maid answer, her lips still attached to her lover’s warmth, “so much, my princess, so much”.

Lizbeth takes the lady’s nightwear off, too. They stare at each other for a brief moment, eyes teared, but Jehanne launches herself forwards when she cannot wait any longer. Lizbeth catches her with ease, lays her petite body on the velvety mattress with reverence, and resumes her worshipping.

Legs and hands tangle with each other, fitting perfectly, hearts beating against each other. Lizbeth lets her lips and fingers search _everywhere_ , eliciting sounds she wouldn’t exchange for anything else in the world.

When Jehanne can finally catch her breath, she begins the delightful process of learning her maid’s body as well as the tallest girl has learnt hers.

By the time the candle has consumed itself and the golden sun starts to appear between pinkish clouds, both girls are deep in slumber, their bare limbs interlaced as if they didn’t know how to be apart.

-

Tragedy strikes seven months after.

The main hall of the castle is blocked from the sunlight by thick curtains hanging in front of the windows. The never-ending murmur inside the often overcrowded room is replaced by a somber silence. Jehanne, dressed ceremonially in plain black, is standing straight besides her mother, tears coating the cheeks of both.

The Queen is stoic in front of her throne, gathering the strength to go over her mourning to supply the need of communicating the essentials to her people.

Jehanne is standing in front of her own throne, with Lizbeth a few inches behind.

“Your Grace?”, the maid asks, because they are outside the shortest girl’s chambers. _Will you be okay?_

Jehanne doesn’t turn, but nods firmly. _I need to do this. For my people. For my father. For my brother._

The Queen turns to look at her daughter. Her eyes are covered by a shadow that Jehanne worries it will be permanent.

_Death provides the dead with an endless sleep and the living with endless nights awake._

“Everything will change now. We are all these people have left. No kings, no army. Just us. We need to remain strong, and do out absolute best”.

Jehanne nods.

“Yes, Your Grace”.

The queen looks forwards once again, searching for something beyond her reach.

“You’d believe that thousands of warriors would be enough to protect their future and current sovereigns. Turns out men are powerless when facing the rage of the ocean”.

Jehanne doesn’t answer, but feels her eyes pricking once again.

-

“What do you need me to do, love?”, Lizbeth asks.

They are in the Princess’ chambers.

“There is nothing to do”, she answers.

The maid waits for a moment. She lets her hand reach Jehanne’s shoulder.

“I’m so sorry”.

Jehanne sobs. Lizbeth pulls her in softly. She wraps her arms around the lady’s shaking figure.

“I’m so sorry, love”.

“I’m afraid”, Jehanne confesses.

Lizbeth kisses the side of her head.

“Of what, love?”

“Of the memories going away. Of forgetting their faces”.

“You will remember”, Lizbeth answers.

“But they will fade away, become less clear. I wish there was a way to…” her voice dies down in another sob.

Lizbeth rocks her back and forth in a comforting manner, feeling her own heart breaking apart. She’ll do anything, _anything_ to make the Princess smile again.

But she’s powerless.

-

“Measures are to be taken immediately”, the Queen murmurs. She doesn’t need to speak any louder. The only listener is sitting two meters away, opposite the wooden table.

Jehanne nods in agreement.

“We are a kingdom without a king, without a successor, without an army. We are completely exposed to enemies from everywhere, and the economy is beginning to collapse. Peasants are scared. They are moving away”.

Her mother’s harsh frankness makes the young lady shiver.

“What do you mean by no successors, Your Grace?”, she asks, tilting her head up.

“No male successors, Jehanne. The remaining royals and peasants will never settle for a woman as the only ruler of Goguryeo”, the queen waits for a second, “even if it is us who really do all the work”.

Jehanne purses her lips.

“So what is there to do?”

The queen stares at her daughter straight in the eyes. A slight look of hope illuminates her eyes, but for Jehanne, the sudden spark is more frightening than comforting.

“You will have to marry.”

“I am sorry?”

The lady stares at her mother with her eyebrows furred, her mouth hanging open due to the shock.

“I am not a suitable offer to remarry. A sad widow, without soldiers… my looks would not be of help, neither, you could guess. Kings would prefer to conquer this land before acquiring it through marrying an old lady, I am sure”.

Jehanne scoffs.

“And who are you planning on marrying me to? One of the minor lords whose rank were not even high enough to go on that voyage?”

The queen wrinkles her nose in disgust.

“Of course not. You will marry prince Kwanghyun, only son of the sovereign of Baekje. He is young, handsome, and strong. Exactly what this kingdom needs”.

“This kingdom needs a _smart_ leader, mother”, Jehanne sneers.

“And that will be your duty, darling”.

“I refuse”, Jehanne states, her voice raised.

_I refuse to marry someone I don’t know. I refuse to submit my kingdom at the hands of a foreigner. I refuse to hurt Lizbeth. I refuse to let her go._

The queen tilts her chin up, her upper lip twisted.

Jehanne waits.

“Do you think this is a game, Jehanne? Do you think we have a choice? Of course I am not inclined to give in, but we are _powerless_. Soon, this kingdom will burn into ashes, and we are the only ones who can prevent it from doing so. Don’t be dense. You will be a queen”, she pauses, “Is this because of your maid?”

The lady opens her eyes widely.

“Please, as if I was as stupid as everybody else in this castle. Do you think I am blind to the way you stare at her? It was fine when you were teenagers. We all had some sort of…flings, even if yours was particularly peculiar. Now, however, things have changed. Now you are a step away from becoming a queen. Do you think a queen is selfish, Jehanne?”

_Yes_ , Jehanne thinks, _yes, yes, yes_.

“They are not, child. We are not. We sacrifice everything for the wellbeing of the people who could spit on us if they had a chance. We work endlessly under the shadow of a king whose mind is filled with swords, horses, and helmets, and does not realize that the true war has place right here, inside the castle, as we dine, laugh, and sleep with our worst enemies. We _sacrifice_ ”.

Jehanne breathes heavily. The queen’s tone of voice turns neutral.

“Invaders are not nice with royalty. I would die. You would die. Your precious maid would die”.

The lady opens her mouth in outrage.

“So, choose wisely. That is what your father and brother would have liked you to do”.

-

Jehanne returns to her chambers crying.

“Love, what is wrong? What happened?”

The lady sits on her bed heavily. She feels a soft hand touching her thigh, but she flinches away.

Lizbeth blinks, confused.

“Did your mother tell you something?”

Jehanne stares at doe eyes and feels the air leaving her lungs. Her stomach turns painfully.

“The usual”, she manages to answer.

When Lizbeth pulls her in to hug her tightly, the lady remains still.

_Please, make this easier, please, please._


	3. Arc I (3) - 550 AD

Jehanne runs away from the castle as she did when she was a little child.

This time, however, she doesn’t want to leave her kingdom. She wants to save it.

She walks around carefully, but people doesn’t spare a look at her, anyway.

Jehanne does look.

And she sees everything.

She sees the children crying, the men sweating, the women begging. She sees the animals perishing in the streets, the lands dry, the houses broken. She sees everything and her heart aches for everyone.

They deserve to survive. Lizbeth deserves to live.

So she will have to sacrifice.

She goes back to her castle as a shattered being. She will be incomplete.

-

“I made my decision”, Jehanne murmurs.

“And?”

“I will marry the prince”.

The queen smiles at her for the first time in ages.

“Well done. We will organize the party. The Prince would feel unable to reject our proposal”.

The future queen nods.

-

“You look beautiful”, Lizbeth tells Jehanne as she helps her fit into the most magnificent dress she owns.

The shortest girl shivers under the feeling of the tallest girl’s fingers brushing against her skin. It’s been long since she’s let herself succumb at the delight of her touches. She has found excuses: royal duties. _Urgent_ royal duties.

Lizbeth has always answered with a smile. Jehanne knows they don’t light up her eyes as they are supposed to.

The maid begins to work with the endless buttons at the back of the dress.

“It’s quite a big celebration”, she mumbles.

“It is”.

Jehanne feels like crying.

“Are you supposed to tighten the relationship with Baekje?”

“Yes”, the shortest girl answers, her tone sharper than intended.

Lizbeth pauses for a second before returning to work.

“I am sorry for overstepping, Your Grace”.

Jehanne turns around quickly.

“Liz, it’s not like that”.

But Lizbeth keeps buttoning, her eyes fixed to her work.

“It will not happen again”, she mumbles, and Jehanne feels as if she was punched right on her chest.

“Liz…”

Lizbeth looks at her in the eyes, the sorrow reflected in her eyes enough to make the lady reach out to hold her face. She changes her mind when her fingers are about to meet soft skin.

“Is that what you want me to call you now?”

“Liz… please”.

“Because it seems like it is. After all, you are doing nothing else than avoid me lately”.

“Listen to me…”

“I understand that you are dealing with many issues, Jenn, but I love you. I’m here for you. If you want me to give you space, I can give you space, but please, just _tell_ me what you want”.

“I’m getting married!”

Lizbeth blinks once.

“What?”

“I’m getting married. That’s what this party is about. I’m supposed to meet the son of Baekje’s King and marry him. An become queen”.

The maid looks at her lover in disbelief, taking a step back, as if afraid.

“What?”, she repeats, this time breathless.

“I have no choice. I need to protect this kingdom; I need to protect _you_...”

“Protect me? By ruining us, Jehanne?”, Lizbeth asks, hot tears reaching her chin. She keeps walking backwards.

“We don’t have to be ruined”, the lady argues back. She can’t lose Lizbeth, she _can’t_. “We can still be together. We can hide, as we did when we were children”.

The tallest girl sneers.

“We are not children anymore. You will be married. You will be sharing all your time with your king. You will share a chamber, even”.

“I was going to get married no matter what, Lizbeth, you _knew_ this”.

The maid stares at the princess for a moment.

“I didn’t know you were going to be the Queen. I didn’t know it was going to happen so soon. I didn’t know I was preparing you to meet the love of your life”.

Jehanne sobs, and her hands search for Lizbeth’s.

“I love only _you_ ”, the lady murmurs. Her eyes burn in pain.

The maid sobs as well.

“I love only you”, she tells her, “but love is not enough”.

Jehanne gasps, but a knock interrupts her next words.

“Five minutes”, the Queen says throughout the closed door.

The tallest girl resumes to her work, neither girl muttering a word.

-

Jehanne stands straight in the middle of the grand hall. The castle shines with the rise of a renewed excitement, the sunlight finally making its way through the massive colored windows. Soldiers get drunk in expensive wine, as some cheer and others follow maids with a hungry gaze. The Queen of Goguryeo chatters elegantly with the Baekje sovereigns, her voice clear, but her head tilted in what Jehanne can deduce is submission. 

The golden lights, illuminating the princess’ gorgeous face, are not able to reach her heart.

She looks around for the fifth time in the early afternoon, instinctively searching for the comfort of doe eyes.

When she spots Lizbeth, however, the maid is turned around, her back facing the lady, pouring wine in the cups of a bunch of armored men blabbering out loud about their recent success at what Jehanne thinks bitterly, must have been a minor battle.

She’s about to reach closer, to ask for anything to make Lizbeth at least look at her again, but a deep voice distracts her from her task.

“Can I have the honor of this dance, Princess?”

Jehanne stares at the young man offering his left hand in a bow. The luxury of his clothing is revealing enough: he is the future King of Beakje.

_And Goguryeo. He will be the King of Goguryeo as well._

The lady sighs lightly before taking his hand in hers. The Prince looks up then, serious. Jehanne smiles weakly, and he grins in the same way.

They begin dancing. Kwanghyun pulls her in a bit too harshly, moves a bit too stiffly. The future queen understands, only by looking at the way the man looks at his feet, that his roughness is more result of lack of experience rather than of cruelty.

“I’m delighted for this meeting, Your Grace”, Jehanne tries. The prince looks at her with a neutral expression.

“I’m delighted too, Princess. My parents and advisors have spoken wonders about your qualities”.

Jehanne waits. A tense moment follows.

“You are certainly beautiful”, he speaks. The compliment doesn’t escape bluntly from his lips, but is rather exhaled as a relief, as a premeditated speech meant to be delivered as soon as possible.

“Thank you”, she states as well, and looks at the way the princes’ gaze drifts to the walls of the castle as the sharpened sword clatters against his clothing, “you flatter me”, she finishes.

The future king looks at her again and tries for a slight smile. He looks up, and suddenly, his eyes illuminate as an idea strikes him.

“I saw two guard towers as we were reaching the castle. Are they both usable?” he asks, his voice filled with excitement.

Jehanne sees all the kings and princes she’s ever met reflected in the image of the suddenly bright man.

_Minds filled with swords, horses, and helmets._

“Yes”, the lady answers simply, “they are”.

The prince smiles.

“Fantastic. This is a wonderful castle…big and strong. I’m certain my parents will be delighted with the idea of stablishing a new residence here. My soldiers will like it, too”, he reflects, “Our marriage will be prosperous, Princess, I promise. Goguryeo will flourish in a way it has never done before”.

_And does not realize that the true war has place right here, inside the castle._

Jehanne feels tears rushing to her eyes. She blinks once, twice, thrice.

“I really hope so, Your Grace”.

He nods, his features returning to their usual neutrality. 

The lady swallows at she looks away, twirling.

_Liz, Liz, Liz._

“Are you looking for your maid, Princess?”, the future king asks suddenly.

Jehanne tries to fight the blush that threatens with covering her cheeks. She glances at the man quickly, but he’s looking at her with disinterest, still.

“She is speaking to my younger sister, right there”, the prince nods towards the end of the all, and Jehanne’s gaze follows.

She can see Lizbeth’s beautiful side profile as she speaks to a lady, her head bowed in respect. The girl, dark hair and dark eyes, is looking at the maid with a humorous gaze and a soft smile, mumbling something and then letting out a chuckle. When a young lord reaches her with the prospect of a dance, the girl refuses politely, clearly invested in her conversation with Lizbeth.

Jehanne stares for some moments, her stomach turning painfully.

“I have never seen her smile at these kind of parties”, he mumbles, clearly surprised, “seems like you have got a charming maid, Princess”.

“Yes”, Jehanne lets out, her voice rough, “she certainly is special”.

If the future king is suspicious about the relationship between the lady and the maid, he does not show it. He simply puts the dance to a stop and brings the future Queen of Goguryeo to present herself to the sovereigns of Baekje.

-

Jehanne excuses herself to her room when she is supposed to: once the party is dying, the soldiers are too drunk to dance any longer, and the sunlight is already golden.

She has fulfilled her purpose. 

The King and Queen of Beajke have approved the marriage. It’s going to have place in seven days, along the celebration of her coronation.

She feels as she has lost everything.

When she enters her room, Lizbeth is already there. She is sitting on an armchair, her head hanging low, her fingers intertwined.

Jehanne gets closer cautiously, afraid of making the wrong move, afraid of losing a part of her.

The maid looks up quickly, and the Princess flinches. She expects to receive an angry stare, but Lizbeth’s eyes are as soft as ever.

“Do you want me to help you out of your clothes?”, the maid asks, above a whisper, and Jehanne sighs.

“Yes, please”.

The maid begins to work then, gently, unbuttoning and pulling as if her princess was about to break.

Jehanne holds it for a moment, lets her body and mind enjoy the wonder that is Lizbeth’s presence, her touch, her peace, her scent, but is unable to do so for long.

When Lizbeth pulls the dress down, the princess sobs.

“Liz…”

The maid looks up then, chocolate eyes meeting each other, and a soft cry escapes from her lips.

“Jenn, my love”, she says, and the princess holds a round face with the palm of her hands and pulls her love in for a soaring kiss. 

It’s messy. They cry and whimper in the middle, but their lips move against each other in need, refusing to let go.

“I love you, Liz”, Jehanne murmurs between kisses.

“I love you so much, my princess, so, so much”, the tallest girl answers, shattered, “so much that I cannot bear it. I _can’t_ ”.

Jehanne pulls away to look at the maid in her eyes.

“Liz, I can’t…”

“I know that you can’t. I know”, Lizbeth pants, “You are being responsible. You are being a good queen for this broken kingdom. You are not being selfish”, she says.

Jehanne looks at her intently, feeling helpless.

“But I cannot bear to see you giving yourself to somebody else”.

“I told you, Liz, I love only you”, Jennie protests.

“And I love you, Jenn. But you know we cannot be together”.

The shortest girl opens her mouth to disagree, to fight for the love of her life.

“We cannot, Jenn. All eyes will be on you. They will expect you to be the perfect queen, the perfect wife. They will expect you to be on his right all day. They will expect you to go to your shared chambers at night”, Lisa sobs, “they will expect you to carry his child. It will break us, love. You know that”.

Jehanne hangs her head low with her teeth gritted. 

“Then what will we do?”, she asks.

“You will be a queen. The queen that Goguryeo deserves. And you will send me away.”

“What?”, the shortest girl asks in alarm, “no, Liz, I can’t. I can’t…” her voice breaks as she sobs desperately.

_No, no, no._

“The sister of the Prince of Baekje needs a new maid. The previous one was imprisoned for stealing her jewelry”, Lizbeth explains.

 _Of course she does_ , Jehanne thinks bitterly. _Of course she would choose you._

“I think it would be better if… I left. I could be a gift to show gratitude”.

“Liz, please, reconsider”, Jehanne begs, “I love you. My heart beats only for you. I cannot be apart from you. I cannot”.

“But my love, wouldn’t it shatter us if I stayed? If we saw each other every day only to remind each other of everything we couldn’t be? Of all the promises that were broken by destiny?”, Lizbeth asks, “You need to focus on the wellbeing of the people and I need… I need to let you go. I have to. I have to sacrifice”.

Jehanne keeps crying, unable to stop.

It is true. 

“Jenn, I”, Lisa beings, her voice harsh, “I will always love you. I will never forget. _Never_ ”.

Jehanne whimpers in pain as she searches for a desperate kiss.

It is a goodbye.

“I love you. I will always love you. Only _you_. Please…let me”, she pulls at Lizbeth’s clothes, feeling at the brink of an outburst, “ _please_ …”

“ _Yes_ ”, Lizbeth answers as she kisses her princess’ elegant neck, “ _Yes. Yes_ ”.

Their bodies love each other for the last time.

-

Jehanne kneels in front of her throne, feeling numb.

It’s all she’s been feeling since she saw the horse carrying the love of her life leaving through the doors of her kingdom.

Her mother is placing a ceremonial sword softly against her shoulder.

_I wish… I wish…_

Her future husband is standing just besides her, silent. He’s wearing his wedding attire. She’s wearing white.

Jehanne doesn’t hear the now ex-queen’s words. She doesn’t hear the crowd’s cheer.

She feels the weight of a crown on top of her head.

And feels the urging need to slip out of her footwear and run away, fast with the wind playing with her hair and the grass tickling her ankles, until she finds the beat of her heart.

She knows, especially now, that the walls are impenetrable.

She stays to save her kingdom.

She becomes an immaculate queen.


	4. Arc II (1) - 1594

Eliza stays as close to the ground as possible, just like her father told her. The defense system fell hours ago.

The explosive sounds of weapons firing nonstop deafens her for a minute. She recovers.

She takes the bullets out of the pocket sewed to her attire with ease, precise. She struggles with her gun for a second before getting ready.

Somebody screams at her left. Somebody falls to the floor at her right.

There are many. Too many. Bullets miss her body in what can only be a lucky strike.

_Might as well take advantage of it._

Eliza fixes her gaze in her target and shoots once. Twice.

She fails. Her grip is not strong enough. She hasn’t been eating properly for _days_ , and her body is starting to resent her.

Her vision gets blurry as the wind hits her face directly, carrying tons of dust that the enemy forces lift with their feet. 

_Damn it, damn it, damn it._

It’s not an excuse to stop fighting. Nothing is an excuse to stop fighting.

Impulsively, she pulls her body off the ground to get into a kneeling position.

It’s risky, but it’s all she can do to protect the territory until the arrival of the reinforcements that were promised two weeks ago. 

An enemy soldier manages to throw a fire bomb meters away, just at the center of the counterattack. The sudden light and the noise of people screeching make Eliza loose her balance.

She feels a sharp pain in her left thigh and a broken scream escapes from her throat.

Her agony lasts only for some seconds.

Then, her world turns black.

-

Jenna walks quickly along the dirt road, tightening her uniform around her waist. It’s too big for her.

She’s late. She knows she’s late. 

She only hopes that her coworkers don’t realize _how_ late she is. She has just lost her home -or at least that’s what the passive-aggressive letter sent by her landlord said. She doesn’t feel like losing her job as well.

She opens the wooden hospital doors as sneakily as possible, but she realizes soon that nobody is really paying attention.

Health workers in white uniforms move quickly from one place to another, their hands full of bandages, scissors and alcohol, their faces masked all the way up their noses. 

Patients are being taken care of right there, in the waiting room, which is an event that only has place when every other room of the building is occupied.

Jenna stands dumbfounded for a second, before a voice snaps her out of her stupor.

“Kim, where were you?”

Jenna flinches and turns around ready to receive a heated scolding mixed with the ice of a petulant stare.

Instead, her boss moves besides her, still talking.

“The soldiers of the Hansado platoon arrived this morning. Wear your damn mask! You have it for a reason!”

Jenna puts the mask up her nose, frowning. Her boss comes back in a matter of seconds, a piece of paper and a bunch of medical equipment in his hands.

“1408. That’s the number of the soldier you got assigned”.

Jenna’s stare changes. Her eyes narrow and start to shine with the spark of purpose.

There is a reason why she has not been fired yet.

“Only one?”, she asks quickly, already thinking about the list of things she’ll need from the storing room.

_Alcohol, cotton, bandages, scissors._

“It’s a bad one”, the boss explains, and rushes pasts her.

Jenna follows, diligently.

“What happened to him?”

“ _Her_. A bulled penetrated in her leg. She almost bleeds to death”.

_Needles, suture thread._

“How did she survive?”, Jenna asks, and reaches the door of the room.

Her boss doesn’t stop.

“We have no idea”.

-

Jenna enters the emergency room with her hands full. She’s been reciting the number of her patient all the way there.

She realizes, taking at glance at the place, how vital that information is. Hospital beds and improvised stretchers are placed one besides the other, making at least a hundred. Soldiers come and go in a whim. The noise of muffled words and quick step are mixed with groans of pain. The strong scent of war makes Jenna happy of the fact that she’s wearing her mask.

The beds are not numbered, but the patients are. Many call her in need but she remains stoic. She needs to do her work. And sometimes, as selfless her work was, it meant sacrifices.

_1408, 1408_ …

_A woman_ , she thinks, _a woman_ , and makes the effort to search for a female face among the mass of male soldiers.

And suddenly, she finds her.

Jenna hesitates briefly. 

The woman is not looking at her, but through one of the few windows that can be found at the emergency room, flashing a profile that Jenna could swear is the prettiest she has seen in her life. She shakes her head when she realizes that she’s staring when she’s supposed to be working. She tells herself that the abnormal beating against her chest is caused by the adrenaline of the moment. It’s half true.

“Patient 1408?”, Jenna asks.

_Of course it’s me. Isn’t the sign against my chest big enough? Where were you, anyway?_ the nurse expects to hear.

Instead, the woman- the _girl_ turns around slowly. When her eyes set on Jenna’s face, they widen a bit, as if startled.

Jenna is about to speak again, thinking _oh my god it’s worse than they told me it would be_ , but the soldier shakes her head lightly, like waking herself up from a daydream.

“It’s me”, the patient says with a raspy voice.

Jenna nods and gets closer, immediately inspecting her leg.

“My coworkers told me that a bullet impacted against your leg”, she says, and puts her hand on the patient’s knee, “can I see?”.

The soldier pulls the light blanket covering her body away, mentally praising her nurse’s politeness.

“Another nurse stitched me up already”, she explains, and Jenna kneels to inspect the wound closer.

“I see”, she concedes, “It’s fine”, and she keeps analyzing it, thinking that whoever worked on her leg could’ve done it with a bit more of care. Stitched like that, the wound will definitely leave quite a prominent scar.

“It’s bigger than I thought”, the patient says, and Jenna smiles softy.

“Well, you almost die from it, you know?”

The girl hums. 

“How is the rest of her body? How do you feel…in general?” the nurse asks. She sees wounds here and there, but nothing too urgent.

“I feel fine. I’m just sore. Especially my legs”.

Jenna nods, her mind still analytic.

_Sore muscles because of the physical effort and improper alimentation. Rest._

“Alright, I’ll take a look at them now”, the nurse tastes, and begins to inspect.

_I might have to put a bandage there. It can get infected. And there. The ankle seems swollen. The shin is too thin. The…_

“When do you think I’ll be ready to enroll again?”

Jenna stops suddenly.

“What?”, she asks, absolutely taken aback.

The patient stays neutral.

“I want to enroll again, as soon as possible. I was wondering when would that be”.

Jenna blinks twice.

“I… it depends on the way in which the gunshot wound recovers… and your whole body, honestly, is in an unsuitable state for war”.

The girl nods, but purses her lips tightly.

“Do you seriously want to go there again?” Jenna asks. 

_Not professional, she thinks, not professional, but c’mon this girl must not be any older than me…_

“Because it’s my duty”, the girl answers simply, and Jenna looks at the way her doll eyes shine with the strength of passion only for a second.

The nurse is about to say something back, but a voice behind her calls her.

“Kim, when you are done there, move to the waiting room!”

Jenna shouts an okay before turning to her patient.

“I’ll bandage some wounds on your legs and leave. Then, I’ll come back to give you further instructions. The hospital is so full today you might be able to go home before the evening”, the nurse explains, “is that alright?”.

The girl only nods, but gifts the nurse her first smile in months.

Jenna does the impossible to hide her blush.

-

Eliza looks through the hospital window for the nth time in the day.

A bullet in her leg. Damn her luck.

Not even the nurse could tell her exactly how much time she was going to need to recover.

She would be annoyed, really, just because of the frustration of the moment, but the short girl has been so sweet with her she cannot bring herself to be impolite.

Eliza lets her mind focus on the sharpness of her nurse’s eyes. Almost cat-like. A stare that meant care, but also strength.

Easily the most beautiful eyes Eliza has seen in her entire life. She’s completely sure she hasn’t seen the girl before. She would remember.

But yet… there was _something_ there…

“Miss?” Eliza hears, and turns her head quickly to see the focus of her thoughts standing right there, wearing an eye-smile.

The tallest girl straightens her body quickly, desperate to seem casual. In the hurry oh her movements, she feels a sharp pain crossing her leg, so she lets out a hiss.

“Oh, I’m so sorry!”, the nurse exclaims softly, and puts her hand on Eliza’s knee, “I didn’t mean to startle you. I’m back to check on you. Are you okay?”

Her words come rushed, and Eliza can’t help but to chuckle lightly.

“I’m alright. I’m… clumsy, that’s all”.

The nurse keeps staring at the tallest girl with those eyes, making it hard to hide the blush coating her cheeks.

“Alright. I’m sorry again. How are you feeling right now?”, the shortest girl asks, clearly relieved, already back in a professional headspace.

“Good. It only hurts when I move it”, Eliza explains. She’s very careful not to mention the soreness of the rest of her body again. She needs to get out of that place.

“Can I see your leg again?”, the nurse asks, and kneels besides the tallest girl’s bed.

Eliza nods and the girl analyzes the wound for a while, her fingers careful against sensitive skin. She hums lightly as she works, and Eliza finds it weirdly soothing. She hasn’t slept in what it seems like months, the sound of fire playing again and again in her head whether real or not, but the velvety voice of her nurse seems to drown everything else like a spell.

When the humming stops, Eliza feels her eyes already heavy.

“I’m sorry to tell you this”, the nurse begins, and the tallest girl waits for the worst, “but I’ll have to let you go”.

Eliza looks at her in confusion.

“Isn’t that good?”

The nurse sighs against her mask.

“There are not potential risks of your wound getting infected, but you will definitely need some assistance cleaning it up, and eventually, getting those stitches off. Not to mention everyday tasks…” the girl makes a pause, “are you married?”

Eliza makes an effort so as not to snort.

“I am not”.

The nurse remains neutral.

“Do you live with your family… friends?”

The tallest girl feels a light tug in her heart, but denies patiently nevertheless.

“I don’t have any. I live alone”.

The nurse’s eyes are immediately tinted with a concern that Eliza feels compelled to wipe away.

“It’s fine, really. I’m sure I’ll manage. What’s a gunshot wound, anyway?”

The girl stares at her in what could only mean reproach.

Eliza feels lightly nervous, which is definitely new.

“And, also, it’s getting late, and I’m sure you would like to go home before the evening”.

Suddenly, something happens.

Cat-like eyes lose light in a way that it makes Eliza’s chest ache. The nurse stares at her with a look of complete sorrow before blinking, trying to tune her feelings down.

But the tallest girl has already seen it.

“What’s wrong?”

The nurse shakes her head.

“Nothing, really. My mind just…drifted”.

“You can tell me, you know, as a part of the… nurse-patient relationship”, Eliza pauses as the girl looks at her, clearly unsure, “I won’t tell. You’ve got some family issues? Your husband, perhaps?”

_Of course a girl with eyes like those needs to be married. What kind of idiot would not propose to her?_

“I am not married. There is no family issue… I am…” the girl struggles for a second, “I am currently…homeless. I mean, I will be, after tonight”.

Eliza lets the words sink in for a second.

“Is it because…” she stops herself. The least she wants is to be impolite with the girl who took care of her.

However, the nurse chuckles slightly watery, making Eliza aware of the fact that she’s on the verge of tears.

“It _is_ because of money. The economic situation is not the best right now and… this job is not the greatest paid”.

The whispers the second part, clearly afraid of her boss hearing, and Eliza has never felt more inclined to be of someone’s assistance as in that moment.

The solution was clear from the moment the nurse confessed what was bothering her. However, she’s afraid of stepping boundaries.

An idea crosses her mind as the shortest girl sheds some tears.

“Do you happen to work privately?”

The nurse stares for her for a moment.

“What?”

“You know, if someone was to hire you nursing services privately… someone who needed a nurse to stay at home for many hours a day, would you say yes?”

_I’m really about to invite a girl I don’t know anything about to live with me, huh?_

The shortest girl’s eyes shine firstly with puzzlement and then with gratitude.

“Oh, miss, you really don’t need to…”

“But I _need_ a nurse”, Eliza protests, “and you are nurse. One that is already familiarized with my condition. I cannot think of anyone more suitable. I will need assistance at home, you said it yourself. Besides, I think I can provide with a payment good enough for you live comfortably”.

She sees the way the girl hesitates.

“I will do it for free”, the nurse states.

“Of course not. It’s your job, and I respect it. Also, it would be nice to have someone at home” Eliza shuts her mouth, surprised at herself for letting something as private as that escape from her mouth.

The nurse seems unfazed. She understands. And she really, _really_ needs somewhere to sleep.

“Thank you”, she murmurs, and Eliza shines with pride.

They stare at each other for a moment before the tallest girl speaks again.

“Oh, would you tell me your name?”

“I’m Jenna. Kim Jenna”, the girl answers, “what’s yours?”

“Manoban Eliza”, she answers, and extends her right arm so the girl can shake hands with her, “lovely to meet you”.

Jenna chuckles adorably against her mask and Eliza feels the sudden need to pull it away to see it all.

“I’ll tell my boss that you are ready to go so we can make it before the sun sets”, the nurse explains, “I’ll have to go to my house to get my stuff”.

Eliza nods.

“I can go with you”.

The nurse hesitates.

“I don’t want you to push yourself too hard. I can search for my things and come back quickly”.

Eliza frowns and feels her lips pursing against her will. The nurse is able to make her feel like a petulant kid. 

“Please. I leave far away”, the nurse insists. Then, her expression changes, “It’s for your health. As your nurse, I’ll have to tell you to wait”.

The soldier looks at the shortest girl amused.

“Alright”, she finds herself mumbling.

She would feel annoyed if complying hadn’t won her another eye-smile.

Jenna seems content.

“Thank you again, Eliza”, she says, her gaze soft again.

When the soldier’s nurse leaves, she feels impatient for her return. 

-

Jenna keeps her promise. She sits Eliza carefully, close to the front door of the hospital and runs home to gather her stuff.

Eliza waits for her, the ache in her leg more insistent now that she has moved, but she’s too distracted because of the buzzy feeling blooming in her chest.

She plays with her house keys in her hand. She’s glad her superiors had the gesture of sending her belongings back along with her bleeding figure.

She knows what it means. She knows that they don’t expect her to come back. Not with a hole in her leg.

Eliza tries not to think about that. She thinks about summer days with her knees deep in pale sand. She thinks about her father’s gentle voice, _honor and sacrifice_.   
She thinks about sharp eyes staring at her tenderly.

She tries to remember her house. Oh, she really hopes everything is clean. Or at least semi-clean. She hopes there isn’t anything lying around embarrassing enough for Jenna to pack up her things again and run away as quickly as she can.

Eliza keeps playing with her keys, her head starting to palpitate with restless thoughts.

Then, Jenna comes back.

She does so running, still in her hospital uniform. Her small hands are carrying a mid-sized leather bag that, Eliza guesses, contains her belongings.

When the nurse reaches her patient, she bows slightly, her eyes shining with uncontained excitement.

“Hello again. I’m sorry for the delay”, she pants.

The tallest girl smiles in reassurance, standing up.

“It is fine. We have plenty of time”, she peeks at the way the sun is reaching west. They do not have plenty of time really, but, well. They can walk under the stars for a while. “We should leave now, though. Do you want me to carry your bag?”

Eliza reaches with her hand towards Jenna’s, but the nurse looks at her with an exaggerated exasperated look. She ignores the soldier’s offer. Instead, she grabs the arm Eliza has extended out and interlocks it with hers, holding the tallest girl securely against her body.

“No. I want you to lead the way”.

Eliza feels a sudden heat covering her cheeks.

She starts to walk home.

-

They arrive when the last bits of orange and purple light up the sky. Eliza stops walking, her arm still intertwined with Jenna’s, and gestures vaguely towards her home.

The nurse looks at her with confusion, and then, with surprise. 

Her mouth opens slightly as she tries to take in the beautiful building the tallest girl is showing her. It’s big. Not the biggest Jenna has seen, but still really big.

“This is like a castle”, she murmurs, analyzing the decorations of the wall in fascination.

_It kind of is_ , Eliza feels tempted to say, _it was the castle of a minor duke_ , but she decides not to.

“Shall we go inside, then?”, she says instead, and Jenna nods eagerly without thinking.

Eliza moves, her body still pressed against her nurse’s, and she tries not to flinch at the aching tug that comes from the wound in her leg. It will get better. It _needs_ to get better.

Jenna steps carefully, managing to be a fair support as she stares at the inside of the house-castle with complete bewilderment. Her eyes are stuck on the massive windows letting in the rest of the day’s sunlight before they move to the flower-themed walls, the wooden armchairs, the royal purple carpet on the floor. It’s unlike anything she has seen before, and she stands there, in the middle of the main hall with her patient still under her grip, and lets out a breath muffled by her face mask.

Eliza looks at the way Jenna’s sharp features light up once again at the sight of the chandelier, and she can’t stop smiling. She has known that her house was probably more extravagant than the one of her peers, but she never thought of it as beautiful, particularly.

Inconvenient, sometimes. Cold, in winter and after her father left, but never beautiful.

Her moment of reflection, however, is interrupted by another pang on that damned leg, and she is forced to wake her nurse up from her daydream.

“Jenna?”, she asks tentatively, and the shortest girl turns towards her quickly.

“Yes? Oh, yes! I’m so sorry”.

She walks again, but doesn’t let Eliza go.

“Is it okay for you to wait here as I light a few candles? You have got candles… right?”

The tallest girl flinches in pain.

“I think so… in the store room. I can get them myself as you make yourself comfortable”.

The nurse looks at her with a stubborn expression.

“Absolutely not. This is my job. You can wait here as I…” she looks around once more, “figure which room is the store room”.

The soldier looks at the girl with a sarcastic expression.

“Am I supposed to sit here forever, then?”

“Oh, no”, Jenna answers, and smiles lightly, “just until I prepare you a bath”.

Eliza opens her mouth in disbelief.

“I do not think- yah!”

But the nurse is gone in a whim, in what Eliza guess is a race to the nearest candle box, as the sunlight ends up leaving them until the next day.

Jenna comes back fairly quick with the illuminating treasures in her hand and an eye-smile that Eliza has already grown fond of.

She works with energy, a faint light now making the hall look bigger. When she finishes, the brunette turns towards the dark bookshelf against one of the walls of the room.

“Do you want to read a book as you wait?”, she asks, “There are so many”, and Eliza is about to protest until she gets an idea.

“Yes, please. Can you look for _A midsummer night’s dream_?”, she asks, smiling to herself.

However, Jenna turns towards her with a look that mixed an apology and slight embarrassment.

“I don’t know how to read”.

_Oh_ , Eliza thinks, and feels deeply ashamed of herself.

“It’s huh, the greenish-yellow one… at the top shelf”.

Jenna’s squints her eyes, now glinting with the light of a challenge.

“Alright”, she says, and Eliza immediately protests with a smile, claiming that she doesn’t mind about the book, that she was just teasing her.

But the challenge is already _there_ , and Jenna is no loser. She uses a coffee table to reach the very top of the bookshelf, retrieves the greenish-yellow book with determination, and hands it to her patient with a triumphant smile.

Eliza merely stares, stunned.

“I will prepare you a bath, now”.

“Don’t you want to have one for yourself first?”

Jenna is about to decline the offer, but Eliza thinks quicker, “I want to enjoy a bit of my book now”.

The nurse purses her lips and finally smiles and nods.

“Oh, by the way, you can leave your belongings at the room across the master one”, Eliza opens her book, “I hope you find it comfortable there”.

Jenna chuckles slightly and bows before leaving. She’s pretty much sure that every single room in the house is two times bigger than the hut she was living in.


	5. Arc II (2) - 1594

Eliza reads the same line of page two for the fourth time. She’s usually a quick reader, but her mind is too far gone somewhere else to concentrate.

She’s home again. After almost a year.

It smells like wooden, and lilacs, and dust because it hasn’t been cleaned, and it makes her stomach turn. It doesn’t feel right. It doesn’t feel right and Eliza’s leg aches as if she had the bullet buried deep once again. She feels the pain, and hears the gunshots, and the screams, and the cries, and the prayers. Her hands start to shake as she holds the book in desperation. She needs to be strong. She needs to be strong.

Suddenly, as she begins to feel tears prickling in her eyes, a soft voice pulls her out of thoughts.

“Eliza?”

She looks at the doorway, trying to find the words to justify her trembling body, but the excuse dies in her throat at the sight of her nurse.

Staring at her with an expression of worry is the absolutely most _gorgeous_ face she has ever seen in her life.

She knew that the shortest girl was pretty just by looking at her eyes, but now that the face mask is gone, Eliza is left to witness the rest of her features, all small, all fitting, all perfect. 

The nurse, however, interprets Eliza’s silence as a bad sign, so she rushes to her side, kneeling on the floor.

“Is there something wrong? Does it hurt too bad?”

Her voice is rushed, and Eliza knows that she should be muster something, anything to reassure her, but the soldier seems under a spell. 

_The curve of her nose, her soft cheeks, her plump mouth._

“Do you want me to take you back to the hospital?”

Eliza is brought back at the mention of the place she’d rather never come back to in her life.

“No, no, I’m just… I zoned off, sorry”, she stutters, and Jenna looks at her with her features still tinted in worry.

“Really, really, just-”

“Does it hurt, though?” Jenna asks, and Eliza doesn’t want to fully lie to those open eyes.

“Slightly”.

Jenna nods.

“I will prepare you a bath and apply some herbs on your leg to ease the pain. Meanwhile, I will cook dinner, and- you do not have a maid, do you?”

Eliza purses her lips.

“Not really. That is why everything is… not clean. I’m sorry. I can hire one-”

Jenna denies quickly.

“No, no. I’ll deal with it as you take your bath. I’ll cook. We’ll think about the castle tomorrow, okay?”

She smiles, and Eliza feels like smiling too.

“You _really_ don’t have to, Jenna”.

“Nonsense, I’m here to work”.

She stands up quickly and, almost as an impulse, reaches to squeeze Eliza’s hand softly.

The tallest girl swallows. 

Jenna’s smile could light up the whole room by itself. 

-

Jenna wakes up in the most comfortable bed she has slept in her entire life. She rolls over under three blankets. She only needs two, actually, with the beginning of a prosperous spring allowing the temperature to rise, but she’s never had so many layers covering her sleeping body, so she’ll take as many as she can.

Jenna looks through the window. The sun is not up yet. However, given the purplish traces that can be seen in the horizon, the brunette guesses it will be morning soon.  
So, despite her comfort, she wakes up.

She has listed her chores in her mind before heavily falling asleep the night before. _Waking up early, cleaning the house, making a healthy breakfast, checking Lisa’s leg, probably preparing her a bath-_

Sounds proper.

Jenna lights up a candle and tightens her sleeping clothes around her body. 

Under the dim light, the house seems even more castle-y. The walls seem to extend endlessly until reaching the decorated ceiling. Everything is in order, the furniture, the household objects, the paintings. Everything is in order, but covered in a heavy dust, product of months and months of lack of human contact. 

The house is still beautiful. Jenna can see it. It just need a tad of proper care. And a lot of time, to be honest, to deal with the amount of massive rooms connected with each other by means of big, black wooden doors.

But Jenna is a nurse. Patience comes naturally for her.

With that thought in mind, she begins to work.

-

Eliza wakes up groggily with the sun hitting directly against her face.

She’s tired. She has only slept for what she feels it was a quarter of the night, if not less.

Her leg hurts sharply, her head is pounding, and she’s lonely in that big house, so lonely-

Suddenly, a smell hits her nose. Eggs, soup and rice.

Maybe she’s not lonely after all.

She stands up weakly, trying to put her weight on her good leg, and moves to the dining room going over the events of the day before. She walks carefully, almost disoriented.

Besides the delicious aroma, there is something else that feels unusual. The whole house seems suddenly less dark, less cold.

As she reaches the room, she stops in her tracks.

Jenna is kneeling in front of the agarwood table, her brows furrowed and lips pursed as she tries to fix something on a plate. She’s still on her nightwear, Eliza observes, trying not to blush, but the usually white clothing is covered by dirt.

Eliza’s brain, now more awake, realizes.

Jenna has cooked. And she has cleaned as well.

Just as the thought lets an unexpected warm wave quicken the pace of her heartbeats, the nurse raises her eyes and finds the taller woman standing on the doorframe, staring.  
Eliza feels herself blushing profusely, and she’s about to let out a bad excuse for her actions. However, Jenna speaks first.

“Oh, my, Eliza, _please_. You should have told me you were awake”.

She walks quickly in the direction of the soldier and interlocks their arms again.

“Please, tell me when you wake up so I can help you. Do you feel alright? You can have breakfast on a chair, if you wish”.

“No, no, I- thank you”, Eliza hears herself speak, perplex. She _can_ form a complete sentence. “It’s alright. I’ll kneel”.

Jenna looks at her in worry, but the tallest girl smiles in reassurance. The nurse is gentle in helping her kneel, and Eliza wonders about the way her leg seems to palpitate less whenever the girl is around.

Once settled, the soldier dividing her look between the angelic figure kneeling just across the table and the appetizing food in front of her, the girls begin to eat.

Eliza thanks for the food. She does it again and again, between bites, and Jenna chuckles every time, telling that it’s part of the job every time.

“But it’s not, is it?”, the soldier protests.

Jenna hesitates.

“Did I overstep?”

Eliza chokes on her food.

“No! Absolutely not. I meant that you are being too good, too attentive. The cooking… and the cleaning. Absolutely amazing. I don’t think the house has ever looked like this before”.

“Clean?”, Jenna teases lightly.

“No”, Eliza answers, “alive”, she murmurs.

Jenna tilts her head in curiosity but decides not to answer. 

Eliza clears her throat, embarrassed after letting out such a personal thought.

“Well, of course the excellency of your services will affect in your payment”.

Jenna lets out a sound of protest, trying to swallow her tea quickly to voice her thoughts.

“No”, Eliza interrupts, “I promise that as long as you live in this house, you will receive the treatment and payment you deserve for your services. It’s the least I can do”.

The brunette blinks. She would have argued, but the light now swimming in Eliza’s brown orbs shines in a way Jenna hasn’t seen before. The tallest girl seems more serious, more decisive. She wonders if that’s the kind of girl that was put in a warzone for several months with a gun on her hand and without food in her stomach.

“Alright”, Jenna answers then, “thank you”, she murmurs.

With that, Eliza’s features relax, and her mouth curls upwards once again.

-

The days pass quickly for Jenna.

She wakes up, she cleans, she cooks, she attends Eliza. She investigates the house-castle with interest, finding massive rooms full of old furniture full of ancient objects: paintings, vases, plates. Some of them, Jenna guesses, might cost an amount of gold that, for anyone else, it will make them worth of a nice spotlight on top of a shelf or hanging against an elegant wall. It doesn’t seem so for the Manoban household, Jenna discovers. She’s not even sure if the tallest girl even knows about the existence of such magnificent objects.

The days pass slowly for Eliza.

And with the passage of days, the ache on her leg seems to accentuate. It’s even worse for the pounding of her head. She tries to distract herself reading, watching the nature outside, listening to her nurse talking about everyday life. The soldier herself has grown quieter. She knows that Jenna has noticed. She perceives the efforts the shortest girl makes to prompt her to speak about _anything_ , food, her leg, even war tactics, but Eliza’s tongue has been tied to monosyllables. It’s driving her crazy, all the silence contrasting with all the noise making her body tremble, but she doesn’t seem able to go through the walls she has built herself.

So she’s reading again, her head resting against the cushion of the armchair, her bad leg on top of the coffee table because it’s one of _those days_.

She raises her eyes when she sees her nurse entering the hall, and tries to manage a smile to reciprocate the big one sported by the shortest girl. 

She fails, so she simply nods. 

“How are you, Eliza?”

“Fine”.

The tallest girl purses her lips in frustration.

However, the nurse seems unfazed. She begins to hum lightly as she slides a wet piece of cloth against the bookshelf with meticulous care.

The soldier steals a few glances in Jenna’s direction. She’s thinking. Eliza knows she’s thinking, because despite her soft humming, lovely, relaxing sound, the shortest girl is pouting just slightly. Suddenly, cat-like eyes are struck with a light. The tallest girl tries to focus on her book again.

“Why do you like reading?”

Eliza frowns.

“What?”

“Why do you like reading?” the shortest girl insists, but she doesn’t turn around.

Eliza thinks for good thirty seconds.

“It takes you away”, she answers simply. She uses the tone of voice that indicates that she’s unwilling to answer further questions. Jenna couldn’t mind less.

“How?”

The soldier squints her eyes lightly, but takes a deep breath. Being anyone else, she would have snapped. Being under the stare of deep brown, sharp eyes, however, she makes an effort.

“You get inserted in other realities. You can be sitting in your armchair with a useless leg”, Eliza begins, and feels her lips curling downwards, “but when you open your book, you can be in a balcony under the stars, or in Venice, or even sitting on a throne. You can be _anywhere_. You just have to choose the right book”.

At the end of her speech, Jenna is looking at her with her head tilted, seas of brown shinning intensely before losing it all at once.

“Oh”, Jenna says, “must be nice”.

She turns around to resume her cleaning, and Eliza feels a weight in her chest.

“I can teach you”, she blurts out, and would even take it back if it wasn’t for the way in which her nurse turns around to stare at her.

“What?”

Eliza ponders just for a few seconds. 

“I can teach you how to read, if you want to”.

“Do you...?” the shortest girl hesitates, and Eliza is almost surprised, “I don’t think I could learn”.

“What? Of course you could”, the solder asks, indignant. _Of course_ Jenna can. “Come here. We can start right now”.

The girl looks at her and lets her gaze move to the bookshelf once again.

“Jenna, you’ve been cleaning the whole day. I’m sure the bookshelf can wait for some minutes. Come here”, Eliza tries to sit straighter, “You will make me stand up and drag you here”, she threatens, knowing that she won’t be taken seriously in the slightest.

The shortest girl, however, leaves her piece of clothing and sits beside her patient.

Eliza smiles. She truly smiles for the first time in days. She perceives a nervousness in Jenna that was completely unknown by her before.

“You will learn before you even realize it”, she states, and uses the gentlest tone of voice she can muster.

“Thank you so much, Liz”.

The tallest girl opens her mouth, but no sound is left out. Her heart picks up her pace without apparent reason, and a crashing wave of warmth wraps her heart up.

“Oh…”

Jenna scrunches her small nose.

“I’m sorry, Miss Manoban”.

“Oh, no”, Eliza is glad she found her voice, and catches herself chuckling slightly, feeling somehow joyful, “does this mean that I can call you _Jenn_?”

The soldier watches as the shortest girl blushes profusely, a new light covering her features.

“I-yes”.

Eliza feels as playful as she’s never felt before.

She also feels determined to be a good teacher.

“Ready, Jenn?”

The shortest girl smiles, soft gums in full display, and nods without hesitation.

-

Eliza is right. Jenna improves in her reading skills quickly, probably even quicker than anybody else would be capable of, Eliza considers.

Jenna is brilliant. She’s brilliant in a way in which she manages to keep the house-castle immaculate, cook the most fantastic meals, take care of Eliza’s wound many times a day, and spend some hours practicing reading Shakespeare. She’s so fantastically brilliant that, on her third class, already having memorized sounds and symbols, she asks Eliza if she could teach her how to write too. She asks her so with her most charming gesture, with her head tilted to her side and her cat eyes softened by a pout on her lips. Eliza doesn’t really require much convincing, both because she needs something to kill her free time with, but also because she is uninclined to deny the shortest girl _anything_. She appreciates the effort, however.

But Jenna is also brilliant in other ways. She’s brilliant in a way in which she seems to illuminate the whole room with her mere presence. She’s brilliant in a way in which she can smile just as Eliza needs, sometimes comforting, others charming, others happy. She’s brilliant in a way in which she _shines_ , her aura, her being, and everything is reflected in features that Eliza is surprised they all exist in one person.

Sometimes, however, in nights like those, when she’s so deep in her shadows that it seems that she’s never known anything else, no light can reach her.

Eliza cries, and shivers, and curses lowly. Her body shakes with pain, with fury, and with such a shattering sadness that Eliza feels that the bullet is back, _painfully_ back, this time going through her chest, and her ribs and her heart until-

Until she hears a soft voice.

“Liz?”

Eliza can’t stop shaking. She sobs, desperate.

“It’s alright. I’m here. I’m here”.

The back of warm hand presses against her forehead, against her neck, against her chest. She feels as if she can breathe again, but doesn’t stop sobbing.

“Don’t leave me please”, she begs. 

“I won’t. I’m here”.

Then, she feels the hand going through her hair slowly, attentive.

Eliza blinks quickly. The tears stop.

Suddenly, a voice reaches her ear again.

It’s soulful, bewitching. It makes her feel like melting, like being deep in a mellow bubble bath. Her eyes begin to close, finally, after so many months.

The voice doesn’t stop. It gets further and further away, as it mixes with her dreams.

Eliza falls asleep.

When she wakes up, Jenna is still on her bed. The nurse is leaning against the wall, fast asleep, and Eliza can’t help but to think, in a drowsy state, that she must be uncomfortable.

She wakes the nurse up putting a hand on her leg. Jenna tries to stand up, startled, but Eliza grabs her by the arm and pulls in.

The shortest girl stares at her, her hair disheveled, trying to understand.

“Come”, Eliza murmurs, “lay down”.

Then, she pulls the nurse inside the covers, just besides her body. When she begins to fall asleep again, she hugs the shortest girl against her chest.

Jenna closes her eyes too, her heart beating in an elated pace.

-

_Parting is such…_   
_Such sweet sorrow_   
_that I shall…_   
_I shall say good-night_   
_till it be morrow._

Jenna closes her eyes and takes a deep breath.

Eliza is right. Reading means countless of exciting journeys. It’s being everywhere and nowhere at the same time. It’s amazing, immersing, and Jenna can barely keep herself from opening yellowish pages once again.

Reading, however, can be exhausting as well.

Sometimes words mix with each other, and sentences are long and tedious and they seem to make little sense. 

Jenna knows she has reached a limit when her temple pounds against the pad of her fingers. She curses under her breath, just like her mother taught her, and decides to ditch reading for an alternative favorite pastime: exploring.

It’s almost mid-morning, and the sunlight is sneaking powerfully through the recently cleaned windows of the massive house. The food is almost ready already, and there is still one hour left before Eliza wakes up.

So Jenna stands up, fixes her hanbok around her waist, and moves to one of the most marginal rooms of the place. It’s far, far back, and to enter it’s necessary to take a left in the long hall that seems to lead only to the house’s massive garden. However, hidden between the ornaments of the wall, there is a silver doorknob that Jenna saw by casualty in one of her trips to fix Eliza’s flowers. 

The nurse walks quickly, then, moved by revived interest, and opens the mysterious door with difficulty. 

Jenna stays quiet staring at the room for a moment, her gaze going through the old furniture. It’s not much different than the rest of the storage rooms, really. There are objects sprawled here and there, gold and silk, shiny medals that upper-class men would kill to have. 

But it’s somehow different.

Maybe it’s the mystery, or the grayish-tinted walls that create an almost solemn shadow that spreads through the four walls, but Jenna feels the need to stay silent, and merely observe.

The one things that catches her eyes first is the painting placed in the middle of one of the beige walls. It’s the biggest painting in the house, Jenna considers, and it only depicts a man sitting on a wooden bench with a smiley expression.

And somehow, it’s beautiful. The traces are fine, calculated, sharp, and they highlight the man’s face with grace. _Righteous_ , Jenna thinks, and keeps staring at short, brunette hair and big eyes of a matching color before a voice startles her.

“What are you doing?”

Jenna turns around to see Eliza, relived for a second but immediately taken aback after seeing her expression.

The tallest girl is looking at her with stern eyes, her mouth pursed as an attempt of containing her anger. Both her hands are turned into fists and her body is leaning forwards almost aggressively. 

“I- I was just…”

“Do I pay you to wonder around my property?”

Jenna lowers her gaze, feeling humiliated.

“No, I’m sorry. I was…”

“If you get bored enough to enter rooms without permission, maybe it’s a signal you are not working just _right_ ”.

Eliza spits the words without control, feeling her body shake.

Jenna feels as tears well up in her eyes, and merely leaves the room with quick steps.

“I’m sorry, miss Manoban”, she sobs before leaving the tallest girl alone.

Eliza stays quiet, the air escaping in puffs out of her mouth, and the inexplicable anger begins to diminish.

What’s left is overwhelming guilt.

The soldier raises her gaze to meet her father’s eyes in the painting.

Despite the juvenile expression, he looks somehow disappointed.

-

Jenna gets out of her room hours later.

It’s almost dinner, and despite her mood, she has tasks to fulfil. She always did, no matter what Eliza said. No matter how cold her eyes looked. No matter how crushing the words were for her heart.

But Jenna’s mind keeps twirling, and it’s rounding the idea that she’s an over-stepper, a disappointment, a terrible professional-

She stops in the doorway of the dining room.

Eliza is already kneeling, plates full of food placed on top of the table.

She’s staring at a bouquet of lilies in her hand with a thoughtful expression.

Jenna takes a step forwards, indecisive, and it seems enough for the tallest girl to notice her presence.

Eliza stands up quickly, her doe eyes, now soft as cotton again, seem full of regret.

“I’m sorry”, she blurts out before anything else, and takes a tentative step towards her nurse.

Jenna stares at her patient, and then at the flowers extended towards her. She takes them, unsure. Then, her gaze goes back to Eliza. The tallest brunette’s eyes are still shadowed by guilt, and Jenna doesn’t feel revengeful.

She’s about to speak, but Eliza interrupts her.

“It was my father”.

Jenna blinks a few times.

“The one in the painting. It was my father. He died in combat”.

“Oh”, is all Jenna can say. Her heart clenches at her patient’s confession.

“He raised me up because my mother died giving birth to me. We were really close, and then the war started. He volunteered and I promised I would volunteer as well as soon as I could. We… believe in our nation’s freedom. But then, he died fighting. So I was left alone. And I hid all his things because… because it was too painful”, Eliza pants, she feels like she can stop, “and then I woke up this morning and I looked for you, and I found you staring at his panting. I… got upset. I wanted to hide everything, but I couldn’t. And then I said horrible things…” the soldier’s voice breaks in a sob.

Jenna decides that it’s enough. She places the palm of her free hand against Eliza’s cheek.

“Liz…”

“I’m sorry, Jenn”, Eliza murmurs.

The nurse pulls the tallest girl in, then, embracing her in a strong hug.

Eliza breaks against her.

She sobs quietly, her body shaking against Jenna’s, but the nurse doesn’t move.

“I love the flowers”, the shortest girl murmurs a while after.

“I got them from the garden. It’s so beautiful now. Everything is beautiful now that you are here. You are perfect. Your work is perfect. Please, don’t leave”.

Jenna sighs against Eliza’s neck, feeling as if the girl’s sadness could reach her own heart.

“I won’t leave, sunshine, don’t worry. I forgive you. It’s fine. I promise”.

Eliza nods quickly, thanking Jenna in a whisper, and pulls away.

However, the nurse connects their hands again.

“Do you want to cuddle in the hall and keep talking about it?”

The solder looks perplex for a moment before nodding again.

Jenna smiles, endeared.


	6. Arc II (3) - 1594

Weeks follow, but Eliza barely notices.

She feels lighter, younger, happier.

The pounding in her leg seems fainter, and it abandons her completely in the minutes she spends laughing loudly at one of her nurse’s jokes or listening to her reading another Shakespeare play with a velvety voice.

Eliza has never felt a romantic connection with anybody.

She has loved her father, more than anyone else. She has made friends, played with them. She has lost some of them because of the passage of time, because of the force of a bullet.

But with Jenna, it’s different.

Eliza knows that she’s falling in love.

It terrifies her sometimes, as she’s laying with the tiny girl in her arms, late in one of her sleepless nights. Her heart has always been filled with dreams of honor, with the passion of justice, with the determination of fighting back.

 _But now_ , Eliza thinks, her head tilted back, looking at the million stars shinning in the sky, _now there is something else_.

“What are you thinking about?” Jenna asks, and sits beside her patient.

The night is warm. The grass against their hands and legs is soft. The scent of flowers and a feeling of slight humidity dances in the air.

“Nothing”, Eliza answers, “just…life”.

Jenna hums in a way that indicates lack of conviction. It makes the soldier smile.

“How is your leg?”

“Perfect”, the tallest girl answers, “I feel content”.

Jenna smiles teasingly, tilting her head.

“Content, huh?”

She moves her body slightly, yearning to be closer to the tallest girl.

She _always_ wants to be closer.

“How are you?” Eliza asks this time.

“Content as well”, Jenna smiles, “happy. _Exultant_ ”.

Eliza chuckles. Her chest feels warm.

“Oh my, all that reading has its benefits, doesn’t it?”

“What can I say, my lady? Reading helped me expand my vocabulary. However,”, Jenna starts with a light voice, and Eliza smiles in anticipation, “It appears I still haven’t found the words to describe your beauty under the light of this summer moon”.

The soldier blushes hard, but chuckles nevertheless.

“Oh, so you found a favorite genre, haven’t you?”

“I like romance”, Jenna explains softly, “it’s beautiful”.

Eliza looks at her nurse in the eyes.

 _It’s true, she thinks, words are lacking._

“I didn’t like romance before”.

_How to explain the burning in your eyes?_

“Why?”

_The curve of your nose._

“I didn’t know love. Not that type of love”.

_The shape of your mouth._

“And now?”

Eliza exhales.

They are inches apart.

“I think I do now”.

Jenna parts her lips carefully. Her eyes are half-lidded, and there is such a delightful flush covering her cheeks that Eliza can’t help herself.

She moves forwards as if bewitched, and catches Jennie’s mouth in a soft kiss.

Eliza closes her eyes just for a second. Then, she pulls away, terrified.

“I’m sorry”, she blurts out.

Jenna frowns and grasps the back of her neck with her hand.

She pulls in again.

“Don’t be sorry, please”.

They kiss again, and again, and again.

They let their hearts intertwine with each other and beat at a matching pace.

They let their hands caress skin tentatively, anew.

They steal each other’s breath several times.

When the sun begins to raise, they are still in the garden.

Eliza gifts Jenna a dopey smile.

“Bed?”, the shortest girl suggests.

She’s suddenly shy.

“Yes”, Eliza answers, and leans in to take soft pecks for the road.

-

They discover each other further.

They discover each other during lazy mornings, when Eliza tells Jenna about the way her father taught her how to read, how to use a sword, how to brush her hair. The shortest girl learns that Eliza believes in liberty, in freedom, in human rights. She learns that Eliza thinks that sometimes fighting is necessary, that nothing is granted. Jenna learns that her lover likes it when she kisses her eyelids, and when she nuzzles her own nose against the tallest girl’s sharp jaw.

They discover each other during warm afternoons as well, when Jenna tells Eliza, between soft pecks, that her mother taught her the arts of nursing before passing away. She tells the tallest girl that she never met her father, and Eliza listens, her hands tangled in deep chocolate. The soldier discovers that her lover likes white and purple flowers, that her favorite beverage is dark tea, that she loves it when she wakes up in the middle of the night only to find Eliza’s body pressed against hers. The tallest girl also finds out that Jenna likes hand kisses and nips on her collarbone.

They discover each other even further, at night. They discover each other as Eliza’s body gets comfortable between Jenna’s thighs, and their lips are joined in a passionate twirl that leaves them both panting. Eliza discovers what makes her lover sigh, her mouth caressing her torso, what makes her lover mewl, fingers playing deep, warm. Jenna explores as well, with the ardour with which she explores everything else. She breathes, and she bites, and she sucks. She takes everything Eliza gives her, sometimes in an overwhelming rush, sometimes with a consuming patience, and gives everything back.

When they stop, heavy panting matching the beat of their hearts, they keep discovering.

“I love you”, Eliza murmurs, and her eyes fill with tears.

“I love you”, Jenna answers, and leans up to kiss her lover once again.

-

“It tickles, love”, Eliza complains in a chuckle.

She is sitting on top of the big marble bath with her legs exposed. Just kneeling besides of her, Jenna is running her blunt nails softly against tender skin.

“I’m trying to check on you, miss Manoban”, she answers playfully.

“Oh, yes?”, Eliza leans down to kiss her lover softly, “isn’t this a bit inappropriate, though?”

Jenna responds to the kiss eagerly.

“I consider this a payment for mi excellent services”.

Eliza chuckles again, delighted.

“I hope this is enough”.

Jenna licks her lips and smirks up to the tallest girl.

“For now”, she says, and then, her gaze goes back to Eliza’s scar on her leg.

It’s smaller than it seemed to be initially, and it’s completely healed. Jenna remembers how she initially thought it was a pity that such a perfect skin was going to be marked forever.

Now, she finds it quite hot.

“All healthy. All good”, she murmurs with a smile, “as if the bullet was never there”.

“Good”, Eliza exhales, and then she adds, “I was wondering when I was going to be ready to re-enroll”.

Jenna stops in her tracks.

“What?” she asks.

Eliza looks at her unfazed.

“Well, the war is still on-going. A few days ago, our commander sent me a letter asking for my health condition. Apparently, the enemy’s forces got the upper hand during the last month. Our group needs backup”.

Jenna opens her mouth in disbelief. She feels her heart clenching against her chest.

“Eliza, tell me you are not thinking about going there again”, she demands. Her voice sounds shaky.

The soldier looks at her with a mixture of surprise and confusion.

“What do you mean, Jenn? I have to go back there. I mean, I _can_. I’m healthy now”.

“Are you kidding me!?”, her nurse stands up abruptly, her features morphing into desperation, “You almost _died_ the last time. I cannot believe you are thinking about…going there, and risking your life again”.

The tallest girl stands up as well, her eyebrows furrowed.

“I know what I’m exposing myself too, and I knew it too, back then. I have to do it, Jenna”.

“What for?! For the sake of this damn country? For the sake of your father? None of them will thank you if you die, Eliza, none of them _can_ ”.

Eliza takes a step back, her mouth opened in shock as if she was just slapped across the face.

“This is about what I _believe_ in, Jenna. About what I’ve _always_ believed in”.

“I know the way you feel about your beliefs, but I thought… I thought I was an important part of your life as well. Turns out I’m not”.

Jenna turns to leave in rage, but Eliza catches her by the arm.

“I love you, Jenna”.

“Not as much as you love war”, the shortest girl sobs.

“This is not about loving war”, Eliza complains, “this is about freedom. What’s the point on trying to build our own pretty little world if the one around us is broken? What would happen if they win, Jenna? Do you think we would be anything else than slaves?”

The nurse yanks her arm away.

“I don’t care about what happens to this corrupted nation, in the same way you don’t care about what happens to _me_ ”.

With that, she storms out of the bathroom, leaving Eliza with her teary face buried in her hands.

-

Jenna doesn’t come out of her room in the next two days.

Eliza is left heartless.

She makes sure to cook food for the both of them, with the hope that the shortest girl sneaks out at night to grab a bite.

She knocks on her door every now and then, murmuring _sorrys_ and _I love yous_ that sound more resigned than hopeful.

She sends a few letters.

Most of the times, she cries.

She cries because she knows she could tell Jenna that she plans on staying. That she plans on building brick walls around the castle so nobody can disrupt their perfect world. 

That she plans on leaving everything behind just so stay with the girl she loves for the rest of her life.

But she would be lying.

Because she loves Jenna fiercely, passionately, with every deep bit of her heart. However, the force of her beliefs is strong, consuming. And she loves Jenna so much that she could never put on her shoulders the burden of being the reason why she stayed, why she abandoned.

Eliza sits on the couch in the hall and lets her head hang low. It hurts. Her chest hurts and her temples hurt and the ghosting feeling of pain returns to her leg in full force. She’s terrified of Jenna never taking her back, never going out of her room. She’s scared of leaving before another kiss, another touch, another smile.

She sits straight again and closes her eyes.

Suddenly, the feeling of lean arms wrapping themselves around her neck snaps her out of her sorrow.

“I’m sorry”, she hears muffled against her shoulder, and Eliza feels her body melting with the relief of having Jenna against her once again.

The tallest grabs her nurse’s hands and helps her sit beside her.

Not a second later, Jenna launches herself to lay on top of her lover’s lap.

“I’m sorry, Liz”, she sobs, “I’m sorry I was selfish. I know this is important for you. I’m just- I can’t lose you. I _can’t_ ”.

Eliza runs her fingers through Jenna’s hair.

“I don’t want to lose you neither, my love. I love you”.

And then, she lets her mouth found Jenna’s.

They kiss deeply, trying to fulfill the need of days craving each other’s touch.

The shortest girl tugs her lover’s attire in desperation. Eliza lets herself be undressed and undresses as well. She lets herself be adored and adores as well.

“Promise me you will get back”, Jenna demands as she stares down in brown orbs.

“I promise we will meet again”, Eliza answers.

They intertwine their legs again.

“How long until you leave?” Jenna asks many highs later, with her head against the tallest girl’s heartbeat. 

“Seven days”.

“Alright”, Jenna cries.

They spend the seven days they have left reaffirming their love.

-

Eliza leaves in a day filled with hot tears and hot kisses. She stares at her lover in the eyes, already in her uniform, and then hugs her tightly against her chest.

They don’t kiss in the port. They can’t. Instead, Eliza squeezes Jenna’s hand just to let her know that she _knows_ , that she feels the same.

Before boarding, Eliza stares at Jenna once again.

“The house is ours”.

“What?” Jenna asks.

“The house is legally ours now. Everything is ours. I want you to live your life the fullest”.

“You are coming back, Liz”, Jenna states, eyes burning.

“Then I’ll come home to my love, to our house.”

Jenna chokes a sob.

When the ship leaves, she carries her broken body to her castle.

-

Weeks later, Jenna gets a letter.

Eliza tells her that she misses her touch, her smiles, her food. She tells her that she misses lying down in the comfort of her own bed. She tells her that she still has her books, that she reads sometimes. She tells her that she loves her, always will.

The next month, Jenna gets a letter.

Eliza tells her that she misses her jokes, her chuckles, her body. She tells her that the enemy is closer. She tells her that she loves her.

In the midst, Jenna lives. She starts to work part-time as the hospital again, trying to distract herself. She thinks about the painting that depicts Eliza’s father and regrets not having one of her lover.

The next month, Jenna gets a letter.

Eliza tells her that she loves her with the same ardour with which she loved her when she left. She spends words and words talking about the mysteries of her beauty. She tells her that she thinks about her every day, even with the hundred guns firing against her head. She tells her that she misses her voice. She tells her that she loves her again, and that she can’t wait to come back to her arms.

The next month, Jenna doesn’t get a letter.

The next month, Jenna doesn’t get a letter neither.

She spends her days reading, cleaning the house, working for some hours, and crying. She thinks about the _what ifs_ once and once again, and her body answers by making her stay awake almost every night.

One day, she hears a knock on the big front door. She rushes there, her heart beating with the pressure of both hope and fear.

When she opens the door, it is all fear.

The two male soldiers look at her with eyes full of pity. They give her an envelope and a uniform.

Eliza’s uniform.

It has holes all over the chest.

Jenna breaks down crying right here. Her body gives up with the weight of an overwhelming pain that threatens with never letting her live again.

She keeps crying for days, weeks, months. Her figure grows thinner, weaker, and her eyes wear a permanent shadow of pain that makes them look darker.

She keeps living.

One day, she opens the envelope. It is a letter full of promises, full of terms of endearment, full of love.

_Wait for me, my love. It’s all I ask for. Wait for me because we are meant to be one. I know it._

She hugs the letter against her chest and cries once again.

This time, the crushing pain is mixed with the sweet melancholy of all the beautiful moments.

She doesn’t know _why_ , but she keeps living.


	7. Arc III (1) - 1720

Elizabeth sighs loudly and rubs the palm of her hands against her face. She waits for a few seconds before grasping her brush again. She sits straighter on her wooden bench and analyzes her painting once more. She draws calculated lines here and then. She lets brush move freely. She resorts to blurring the shadows a bit more.

The painting is still pure trash.

Elizabeth mumbles some insults, feeling absolutely defeated. She looks at the piece- the _monstrosity_ she just made for a few extra seconds before throwing it on top of her failure pile dismissively. 

She’s ruined. She’s absolutely ruined and she will have to move from her already tiny, messy house to a tinier, probably messier one. 

Well, she’s not ruined just yet. She still has left a portion of the money she won thanks to her last decent painting -almost one year ago. But it’s scarce, very, _very_ scarce. So much so, that she has tried to reduce costs by replacing poor-quality fish for plain white rice, just to buy a few cans of paints that she keeps wasting on unsellable art.

Elizabeth knows that money comes and goes. She is definitely worried about the way it is currently _only_ going, for sure, but she’s more concerned about something else that has also been lacking.

Her talent. As plain as that. Her works have been bad because she has been bad, her traces have been shaky, her way of mixing colors has been unpleasant. Every single decision she has made on her latest paintings has been wrong, imprecise, ruining.

She remembers with melancholy the times when she didn’t seem able to stop painting. Autumn trees, bluish skies, smiling children, the summit of a mountain she has only seen in her imagination, _everything_ seemed to be source of inspiration for young, innocent Elizabeth, who conceived the world as an adventure and a canvas as the only way of expressing the delight to discover it. 

Twenty-two-years-old Elizabeth has already seen the world, or at least a considerable part of it. The tenderness, the corruption, the rain, the sunlight. She has walked along the streets of the busy city. She has taken a few months to explore the mystery of nature. She has done everything possible worth of inspiration and yet…

She stares at her pile of unusable works.

She still has nothing to offer back.

Eliza sighs. She tries ties her long, brunette hair in a bun, trying to prevent her mind from returning to the one thought that’s been keeping her awake for months.

The only specific thing she remembers about her grandmother, sweet, and gentle whenever her flowers stayed intact, is what she used to murmur into her ear like a secret.

_One day, you will depict the beauty of love._

Elizabeth huffs under her breath. She knows what _love_ offered to her parents: multiple headaches, a permanent sense of bitterness, and an unwanted child. She is not even sure if she’s ever met an honestly happy couple. Or at least a _self-aware_ , honestly happy couple.

She doesn’t need love. She really _doesn’t_. She’s just fine with her sketches, and her paints, and her occasional shot of soju-

Suddenly, a loud knocking on her door snaps her out of her thoughts. She feels equal parts relieved and annoyed. 

She looks at the clock. 5 pm. Way past her working time. However, the few coins in her pocket whisper the sad truth: _you don’t get to be picky._

She opens the door, then, slowly, only to find a man staring at her with plain impatience tinting his features. She raises her eyebrow, ready to greet him, but he rushes past her making his way inside of the house. 

“Hello?”, Elizabeth tries, still surprised.

“Hello. Do you always take such long time to open the door?”

The girl narrows her eyes.

“Anyways, listen, I have a job for you”.

Elizabeth takes in the male staring at her once again. A high-quality hanbok hugs his tall figure tightly. He is completely shaved, and has a stern, almost aggressive look in his face. She imagines that women other than herself would find him fairly attractive. He balances his weight from one leg to the other, almost as if he couldn’t stand two seconds of silence. 

The painter knows right away that she’s talking to an upper-class man, which means, well, _money_.

She’s willing to listen.

“What kind of job, Sir?”

He looks at her with an irritated expression.

“A painting”, he explains in a tone that it would have been enough for anybody else to be kicked out of Elizabeth’s house in a whim.

She tries to remain neutral.

“Indeed, Sir, but what kind of painting?”

“A portrait of my wife”, he says, the words rushing out of his mouth, “I forgot our first anniversary, and well, you know women… I imagine”, he sets his gaze on Elizabeth almost as if deciding, and then continues, “So I need a gift. Something grand. She told me she likes your works, once… I think. Well, if it’s not you, you’ll be the next best thing I guess”.

Elizabeth feels the urge of slapping the man out of his balance and of laughing out loud at the same time. A complete disaster.

Her grandmother couldn’t have been more wrong.

“Well, I can do that, for sure”, she tries, “even if I’m just the best next thing”.

The man merely nods, content of things going his way yet again.

“How long would it take you to finish a portrait?”

“How big?”

The man scoffs.

“I don’t know, as big as it gets. As big as she’d like. I don’t care, really. It’s just a painting”.

Elizabeth imagines red flags flashing across her mind. She also feels how light her pockets feel.

“One month is the usual”.

“One month?! It better be a great painting”.

“Have no doubts that it will be, Sir”.

Elizabeth does have a few doubts.

“Good. I’ll pay you as soon as you finish”.

 _Fair_ , Elizabeth thinks.

“Should we discuss the price?”

“No. I don’t care. I just want to stop eating burnt chicken at noon. Here”, he extends a well-folded piece of paper to Elizabeth, “this is my house’s address. I need to go now. I should’ve been gone for… half an hour now. Damn it. I will be waiting for you tomorrow at eight in the morning. Don’t be late”.

With that, he opens Elizabeth’s front door on his own and rushes towards the streets.

The painter is left with the piece of paper in between her fingers, her left hand curled in a fist, and the feeling that she definitely does not need love.

-

Nemamiah sits with her knees against her chest and her head hanging low. 

She waits eternally between shadows, the bitter feeling blooming inside of her chest only spreading with greater strength.

There is nothing around her; hasn’t been for a long, _long_ time, and she’s not even sure if the punishment will end someday.

So she keeps waiting, wrapped up in the most dispiriting nothingness.

Suddenly, a voice makes itself present. It calls her name twice.

Nemamiah sits straighter, thinking that may be, _may be_ -

_Vos autem non mutantur._

“I have. I learnt my lesson. I have!”, Nemamiah half-shouts.

_Sine humilitate, inanimis. Sine caritate._

_Love_ , Nemamiah thinks bitterly, and her chest is filled with outrage again.

“How can I win my pardon, then? Staying here? Looking at nothing while I twist in pain in this corrupted body?”

The voice stays quiet for a second.

_Sacrificium._

“What?”

_Molis in terris._

_A task on Earth_ , Nememiah thinks, _I can do that_.

“I accept it”.

How hard can it be?

With that, Nememiah sees a blinding light that engulfs her weak body.

Before losing consciousness, she hears the voice once again.

_Tuum nomen est Kim Jisoo._

_Kim Jisoo_ , Namemiah thinks, _what kind of stupid human name is that?_

-

Jennifer slices peeled potatoes silently. She does it gently, meticulously, afraid of ruining it one more time.

Across the kitchen, her husband is working with numbers, equally mute. 

Jennifer wonders if he feels the tension that she feels, the mixed sounds of the knife on the cutting board and the pencil sliding against paper almost deafening against her own ears.

However, she has learnt during the past months, sometimes her own perceptions of things can be very different from her husband’s.

She hears him taking a short breath and braces herself. It’s something she has been doing a lot lately.

“Don’t burn it this time”, Chinhwa merely says.

Jennifer shallows, feeling her lower lip trembling pathetically.

“Alright”, she answers when she finds her voice again, and her husband drifts away once again.

It’s been like that for years. It wasn’t like that when they first met, and it wasn’t like that the day they married, whites, reds, and blues playing with each other like a perfect dream, her parents gifting her a small but firm nod of contempt. 

_Things began changing just the day after_ , Jennifer considers.

And now…

The woman looks back at the cutting board, hissing loudly. She inspects the small cut on her finger that she has accidentally made and pouts.

Her husband doesn’t take his eyes off of his numbers.

The girl keeps looking at her finger as she decides whether the wound is bad enough to require some sort of bandage. Just as she decides that she can definitely keep cooking, cleaning, washing, being as perfect as possible, all with a small cut on his middle finger, a knock on the door echoes in the big kitchen.

Chinhwa stares at his wife half-surprised and half-annoyed, almost as if blaming her for the sudden interruption. However, his eyes widen immediately after, remembering, and turns towards the big clock against one of the walls in the room before standing up abruptly.

“Who is it?” Jennifer asks, quickening her short steps to follow his husband’s quick pace. 

“A surprise”, he answers, “for you”, he adds. He keeps walking towards the door without turning around.

Despite everything, Jennifer is surprised. Pleasantly so. The idea of her husband making the effort to prepare something for her, _anything_ , makes her heart warm up against her chest. Maybe they can love each other as they were supposed to. Maybe they can be the happy-ever-after marriage that she’s always craved. Maybe she can work just a bit harder to make him content as well.

So Jennifer waits for her surprise just a meter behind her husband as he opens the massive front door with vigour.

Jennifer expected flowers, or candy, or even a cheap, bad serenade.

What she did not expect, for sure, was his husband revealing the figure of a young brunette woman in a slightly-too-big hanbok and a bunch of bags under her arm. 

The first thing Jennifer thinks is _oh my god, this woman is absolutely beautiful_ , and the next one is _oh my god, is she his lover?_

But the absolutely disinterest reflected in the girl’s eyes as she stares at her husband makes Jennifer decide that there are very few possibilities of that being the case.

Beautiful girl nods in vague respect, muttering a vague greeting as well, and then fixes her gaze in Jennifer. The shortest girl sees the way the expression on her big, doll-like, tanned honey eyes change slightly, plump lips opening almost as if in disbelief.

Jennifer cannot help but to stare back, feeling that her own hanbok is suddenly too heavy and tight against her skin.

“Darling”, her husband speaks, snapping her out of her trance, “this is...huh… well, your painter”.

“Elizabeth”, beautiful girl states, and this time, bows deeper.

“This is my wife, Jennifer”, Chinhwa states, and motions vaguely to the shortest girl before she can even speak.

Jennifer bows as well, somehow grateful for her husbands’ intromission because she needs a few moments to find her voice.

“Good. Come in. Let’s discuss the details”.

Jennifer is absolutely clueless on what the _details_ would be, since she is not even aware of what the _main_ plan is, so she sits beside her husband in the dining room table with a puzzled expression.

That leaves Elizabeth sitting uncomfortably just in the chair in front of her, the light of the chandelier hitting her features in such an impressive way that Jennifer has to look away to hide the blush in her cheeks.

“So, I imagine that two or three times a week would be enough for you to finish in a month”, Chinhwa begins.

Jennifer squirms lightly as Elizabeth’s eyes fix on her face, tracing her features intently.

“Probably more than three”, she murmurs, “it’s really…”

“I’m sorry”, the shortest girl interrupts, feeling cornered, “what is going on?”

Her husband looks at her with a deep frown before realizing.

“Oh, this is your surprise. Elizabeth is a painter. Your surprise is a portrait. You like…art, don’t you?”

Jennifer and Elizabeth stare at the man with matching expressions of disbelief.

“Yes”, the shortest girl starts slowly, “I do like art”.

 _But I am not art_ , she thinks, but she doesn’t want to let it out.

“Well, see? A lovely surprise. Something you will enjoy. Don’t you think I deserve some thankful words, at least?” he speaks now, her tone swimming in egocentrism.

Elizabeth looks at Jennifer as if begging her to shout for divorce right there.

Instead, she blinks once, twice, trying to breathe through her nose.

“Yes, darling. I’m sorry. I’m thankful, truly”, she tries.

The tallest girl looks down for a second.

“See? Better”, he says, “besides, she will be a good company this month”.

“Sorry? This month?”

“Yes. I told you I’m going to overseas and staying there for a couple of weeks”, he explains, and then, pauses, “right?”

“You haven’t”, Jennifer answers, her tone dripping harshness.

Elizabeth rises her eyebrows, her eyes fixed on the shortest girl.

“Well, I must have forgotten”.

Jennifer grits her teeth before speaking again.

“You forgot to mention _your wife_ that you are going away for a whole month!?”

Chinhwa stares at her with slight reproach, but is mainly unfazed.

“I work”, he simply states, and then turns towards the awaiting guest, “Tomorrow at three afternoon”.

Elizabeth nods before standing up and moving towards the front door in a rush.

Jennifer feels bad about the situation she put her in. She saves an apology in her head for the next time she sees her. Right now, however, she’s fuming in rage.

The tallest girl murmurs some words before leaving, and Jennifer is left with her husband portraying a disappointed expression.

“Jennif-”

“When are you leaving?” she asks.

“Tomorrow morning”.

The girl takes a deep breath.

“You better prepare your own breakfast, then”.

She moves to one of the guest rooms stomping her feet.

“Really?” she hears shouting, “you undeserving little bi-”

Jennifer closes the door to muffle the sounds.

She’s afraid of experiencing things that she can’t forgive.

-

Kim Jisoo lands on Earth with a loud thud. 

She murmurs a few insults -secretly pleased about the fact that she’s actually able to do so- and proceeds to raise her weak, ridiculous body and dust off her cheap, earthly attire.

She’s hurting here and there, which is definitely not unfamiliar but nevertheless uncomfortable.

She tries to think about her real name. She doesn’t remember it.

 _I’m really stuck here, huh?_ Those fuckers, she thinks.

Oh, she can even insult the Ethereal on Earth. 

Benefits aside, however, she wants her wings and halo back.

She thinks about her mission again and shakes her head in disbelief.

_One day you are the most powerful being in your sphere and the other day you are helping two humans out of millions to live the fairytale dream._

Jisoo discovers, as she thinks about what to do next, that she doesn’t even know where that famous Kim Jennifer lives. 

She rubs the pad of her fingers against her temples instinctively.

She has some work to do.

-

Elizabeth stands in front of the massive Kim household with her painting tools under her arm. She asks herself for the hundredth time if knocking on the door is a good idea.

She really doesn’t want to witness another version of the marital discussion she had to endure the day before. It was awful, not because she didn’t know how shitty the ideals of love could be, or because she felt uncomfortable with looking at people spitting poisonous words at each other, because, honestly, she has been there before. It was the expression on the wife’s deep eyes, anger, sadness, and resignation all mixed up in a heartbreaking cocktail what now makes Elizabeth hesitate.

She licks her lips and puts her free hand on her pocket. She needs the money, and she has already spent half of the few coins she had left on paints and a decent canvas.

So Elizabeth takes a deep breath and knocks on the door.

There is something else that prompts her to do so, something else that makes her feet glue into the ground instead of forcing her to make her way back to her house and take a shot of soju.

The black door opens slowly to reveal one of the most –if not the most, honestly- gorgeous faces Elizabeth has seen in her life.

“Hello”, Jennifer tells her quietly, and gifts her a slight smile and a low bow.

Elizabeth imitates her in a rush, trying to hide the delight in her expression as the shorter girl’s scent reaches her nose.

Jennifer moves aside, allowing her to enter the house, and under the girl’s relaxed presence, Elizabeth allows herself to look around her.

The space is beautiful, and just as she guessed before, it drips wealth.

“How have you been?”, Jennifer asks, and guides her curious guest around the house until they reach the living room. 

Elizabeth takes a quick glance at the ivory furniture before answering.

“I’ve been fine”, she lies. Her stomach is starting to resent her due to the excess of unflavored food, “how have you been?”

Jennifer moves a silk-covered cushion to sit in the sofa with her legs crossed. She stares up at Elizabeth and then gestures with her hand to indicate her that she can sit on her side.

The tallest girl complies quickly, trying to keep her heartbeats at reasonable pace as she puts her painting tools aside.

Jennifer smiles once again, politely this time, rehearsed.

“I’ve been great”, she concludes.

Elizabeth fights the urge to frown.

“You have a wonderful house”, she says instead, and moves her eyes to stare at the room again, “wonderfully decorated”.

“Oh, thank you”, the shortest girl mutters, a humble blush coating her fluffy cheeks.

Elizabeth smiles for the first time in the day, probably for the first time in days actually, feeling endeared by the girl’s sudden shyness.

“Do you decorate the house yourself?”

Jennifer shrugs, blushing more profusely.

“I have a lot of free time”.

The tallest girl hums. 

“Well, I think you are doing a fantastic job. It’s beautiful”.

She stares at the short brunette with more intensity in her eyes than intended, but she can’t help herself. There is something so enticing, so purely stunning in Jennifer’s cat-like eyes that Elizabeth feels the need to compliment her endlessly. 

“Well thank you”, the girl answers with her lips parting in a flattered, authentic smile, “Oh! I’m sorry. I’m a horrible host. Would you like something to drink?”

She motions to stand up, but Elizabeth denies with her head family.

“I’m good. I just want to discuss some details of the portrait”.

Jennifer nods, attentive.

“Would you like it to be full body or just your face?”

The shortest girl thinks for a moment.

“What do you recommend?”

Elizabeth squirms imperceptibly.

“Most clients choose full body. It’s more accurate and more smoothly finished”.

_And you will get to show your body, which honestly-_

“Full body it is, then”.

“Great. Do you have any style in mind?”

Jennifer denies, smiling almost sheepishly.

“You are the artist”.

Elizabeth runs her fingers through her hair and the shortest girl follows the movement with interest.

“Well, you have seen some of my works, right?”

Jennifer looks at her with such a cornered expression that it makes Elizabeth stifle a laugh.

“I’m sorry. I’m not self-centered or anything. I know most of my works are sh- questionable, but your husband told me, that…well…”

“That I was a fan?” Jennifer tries.

“Exactly that”, the tallest girl answers.

“It’s not… that I’m not appreciative of your art”, the shortest girl begins to explain, looking extremely ashamed, “I’m sure that it’s wonderful. I’m just not deeply familiarized with it”.

“Oh, but then-”.

“I must have mentioned some author of one of my books and he… he sometimes does that, hear what’s convenient for him”.

The bitterness in Jennifer’s voice makes Elizabeth soften her eyes.

“Don’t worry. It’s completely fine. If you don’t want to continue with this, I understand. Honestly”.

Jennifer stares at the girl for a second.

“No. I still want the portrait”.

Elizabeth merely smiles, surprised at herself for feeling more excited than she expected to be.

“Good!”, she states loudly, and the shortest girl relaxes her shoulders, “So, I was thinking about going for a realistic style with some magical, or ethereal features, like, hum, a goddess, for example”.

“Would you lie to paint me… like a goddess?”, Jennifer stammers in disbelief, “I can hardly make the cut”.

“Nonsense”, Elizabeth exclaims, and stands up to move around the living room with a sharp expression, “Do you mind if I go around the house? I need to find the perfect spot”.

“Please”, Jennifer murmurs, still stunned by the tallest girl’s sudden change of demeanor. Now, coffee eyes shine with a renewed light as she moves her body vigorously but delicately, like dancing.

The shortest girl follows her mutely, as if afraid of breaking the spell.

Suddenly, Elizabeth stops, just in front of the master bedroom. She looks dreamily at the wooden floor and at the big French window that allows the sunlight to coat everything. The walls are creamy, pristine, ideal to contrast against Jennifer’s glowing skin once the day is on its golden hours. The blankets of the king-size bed and the cover of the armchairs at the side of the room are of a matching shade of red, and Elizabeth starts picturing the perfect painting in a way she hasn’t been capable of doing in _months_.

She turns around quickly, portraying her best begging eyes.

“Is this room too private?”

Jennifer blinks twice, perplex, but then she answers.

“I’m okay with it”.

The smile she gets as a reward, big and glowing, makes her chest feel full.

“Good! Shall we start?”

Jennifer opens her eyes in surprise.

“Now? Shouldn’t I change my clothes?”

Elizabeth steals a quick glance.

_Could you even look more beautiful?_

“No. I will just draw the outlines today. Can I move this armchair?”

Jennifer complies, suddenly nervous, and Elizabeth works for a while, creating some sort of setting. She indicates the shortest girl to sit in the armchair as comfortably as she’d like.

“Is this fine?”, Jennifer asks, putting her sided legs on top of the cushion.

“Yes”, Elizabeth says, _wow_ , she thinks. “Can you rest your face on your hand, like…. Yes. Like that. Absolutely stunning”, she mutters.

The shortest girl blushes again.

Elizabeth begins to work then, tracing lines easily, naturally, inspiration flowing from everywhere as the shadows that hit Jennifer’s face change slightly.

She feels her fingers buzzing and her heart pounding hard as she outlines the most charming creature she has ever seen.

“You remind me of orchids”, she lets out after some minutes of silence.

Jennifer raises her eyebrows, but doesn’t move further.

“How so?”

Elizabeth narrows her eyes, drawing a fine line.

“The intensity. The mystery. The beauty”.

The shortest girl licks her lips in a sign of nervousness.

Despite of everything, she feels herself smirking.

Elizabeth keeps working, feeling beyond amazed.


	8. Arc III (2) - 1720

The artist sees her painting evolving with pleasure. 

She’s content with the traces, the colors, the textures. She feels full, all the time, like in a dream.

Elizabeth and Jennifer talk.

They do so quietly, so as not to disturb the painting process.

They discuss art, culture, and politics, and sometimes they derive to neutral topics like the weather.

One day, Jennifer speaks with her voice tinted by insecurity.

“I’m not sure about the result of the portrait. Not because of your skills, of course, but because of…well… my face”.

Elizabeth takes her eyes off her work and looks at the shortest girl with a shaking intensity.

“You are perfect”, she answers simply.

Jennifer is left speechless.

“Your eyes are sharp, fierce”, Elizabeth continues, her voice velvety as she begins to paint traces once again, “your nose is small and delicate. Your cupid’s bow is deep, inviting, and your mouth is rich and lively. Then, your cheeks, prominent, giving a sense of innocence that contrasts with the cut of your cheekbones. There is nothing not to like about your face. I’m not painting you like a goddess. I’m painting you, and you look like a goddess”.

The shortest girl blinks away the tears in her eyes as she keeps her hands from shaking.

When she catches her breath again, the warm feeling blooming in her heart is still there.

“Thank you, Liz. You are… like a dream”.

Elizabeth smiles, feeling accomplished.

She can’t even complain about her new nickname.

-

One day, however, a week and a half into her portrait, Elizabeth can’t paint.

She’s stuck again in a lack of inspiration, despite the constant buzzing in the pad of her fingers.

The scenery is there, just in front of her eyes, and she can almost outline every feature needed in her head.

But as she puts the brush closer to the canvas, everything fades away.

She is left huffing lightly, then, with an annoyed expression under Jennifer’s perplex state.

“Everything alright?”, the shortest girl asks. She’s been in the same position for twenty minutes, but Elizabeth hasn’t painted a single line since.

The tallest girl fights the urge of pouting.

“No. I’m… stuck”.

Jennifer allows herself to sit straight in the armchair.

“Is it… am I doing something wrong?”

“No!”, Elizabeth explains quickly, “it’s just… It happens sometimes. I can’t come up with anything good. I’m shitty like that”.

Jennifer frowns.

“You are not shitty, Liz. You have been painting non-stop for days. You probably need to rest for a while”.

Elizabeth runs her hand against her face.

“Yes, you are right, I’ll probably-”

“Do you want a glass of wine?”

The tallest girl stares at Jennifer in slight surprise. She’s gazing back at her calmly, her body resting against the back of the armchair.

“Oh… I-sure”.

The shortest girl smiles then, and stands up to walk to the kitchen with ease, gracious, almost as if teasing.

Elizabeth merely follows, feeling enchanted.

“You can sit on the living room as I gather the wine. Oh, red or white?”

“Whichever you like the most”, Elizabeth answers.

Jennifer looks at her, a grin still plastered in her beautiful features, and lets her find her way to the beige couch in the living room.

Elizabeth sits on her own for some moments. She licks her lips nervously and tries to calm herself down. She has always been composed, nonchalant. There is something about Jennifer’s whole aura, however, that makes her insides shake with waves of impulse.

Jennifer comes back with two cups full of red wine and a still relaxed expression. She sits beside Elizabeth carefully and hands her one of the cups.

The painter is quick in drinking at least a quarter of the liquid in short sips.

Jennifer doesn’t comment. She merely smiles and drinks as well. 

Elizabeth understands that the silence should feel awkward. Instead, it is surprisingly soothing. The easy atmosphere mixed with the taste of the expensive wine and the sweet scent that Jennifer emanates, the painter suspects, naturally, makes the tension in her shoulders diminish slowly.

After some extra moments of silence, Jennifer clears her throat.

“Have you ever wanted to be a painter?”

“Yes”, Elizabeth answers, “I knew since the moment I drew a house with sticks for the first time”.

Jennifer chuckles, and the artist smiles as well.

“That’s good. That certainty”.

“Yes. It helped a lot. Although it didn’t make it easier to tell my parents”.

The shortest girl hums.

“They wanted me to marry a rich man and have children”.

“And you are not fond of marriage?” Jennifer asks.

Elizabeth ponders on how honest she can be.

“Not fond of men nor marriage, no”.

She waits in slight tension until she hears Jennifer chuckling again, clearly not deeply affected by her declarations.

“I see”.

“What about you? Have you always wanted to marry your rich man?”

Jennifer’s mouth twitches slightly and Elizabeth is about to apologize, but the shortest girl speaks first.

“Yes, and have children, too”.

There is such a deep sadness suddenly interlacing with Jennifer’s tone that the painter frowns, confused.

“And why don’t you have one?”

The shortest girl sighs then, and her lower lip trembles almost imperceptibly.

Elizabeth feels like slapping herself.

“Chinhwa is not on fond of children. He never was, really… but I thought… I don’t know. I thought he would change”.

The painter feels the urge to reassure the shortest girl as quickly as possible.

“He might change his mind”.

Jennifer blinks quickly as an attempt to remain composed.

“He won’t. He said that he could never love a child”.

Elizabeth puts the glass of wine on the coffee table and leans her body back, all in silence. Then, as a desperate attempt to show support, she puts her hand on top of Jennifer’s left thigh.

The girl seems unfazed, but keeps her eyes on the floor.

“I know it’s silly, but… I’ve always… I don’t know, thought that I could be a great mother. That I could raise a nice, happy, intelligent child. Give them all I never received when I was young. All the love, all the toys, all the secrets. It’s all I’ve dreamt of. Family love”.

She stops for a second and raises her eyes to look at Elizabeth, clearly embarrassed. In exchange, the tallest girl squeezes Jennifer’s thigh gently.

“I’m sure you could, Jenn. Let’s not lose hope, alright?”

The shortest girl keeps looking at the painter, and a soft smile begins to grace her features.

“Jenn?”, she asks teasingly.

Elizabeth tries to take her hand away from Jennifer’s leg, yearning to recover her usual neutrality, but the shortest girl doesn’t allow it. Instead, she interlaces her own fingers with the painter’s, her grin still on place.

Elizabeth feels like her heart might bust right there.

_This is so wrong. So, so wrong. This is probably just a friends-sharing-secrets moment and here I am twisting it up like the disgusting-_

“I like it. Nobody calls me that”.

The tallest girl tilts her head in honest curiosity.

“How do they call you, then?”

“Jennifer”, the girl shrugs.

Elizabeth hums and, still holding the shortest girl’s hand, moves her body forwards to hold her cup between her fingers.

“Tell me a secret”, Jennifer requests.

“A secret?”

“Anything. Somebody nobody knows”.

Elizabeth smiles, feeling powerless under the girl’s sharp stare, and tells her about the time she painted the wall of her room and blamed neighbor she hated the most.

In exchange, Jennifer tells her about the time she tried her mother’s most expensive hanbok and stained it so bad that she had to throw it away and pretend it didn’t exist.

They spend the whole evening talking, their faces soaked in sunlight, giggling with their hands intertwined, allowing their eyes linger on each other until the tension becomes too much, too dangerous, too tempting. 

When Elizabeth gets home, she starts to work on another project.

Every trace is delicate but firm, teasing and magical.

She is not able to get Jennifer’ smile out of her heart.

Through window, an imperceptible female figure is observing her with disinterest.

_This is creepy as fuck_ , Jisoo thinks, _and boring_.

-

Elizabeth watches at the rain pouring against her window with a feeling of helplessness. Her painting materials are besides the front door, ready to be taken under the tall girl’s arm. The only obstacle is the awful weather.

The painter pouts. She might not be able to go to Jennifer’s today. It’s already late. Very late. If the sun was shining, golden lights would be coating the room. The storm, dark and wild, shows no signs of stopping anytime soon.

The thought of not working makes her sad because, well, she will have to quicken her pace in the following session, but also… she misses certain light jokes. And certain cat-like eyes. And a certain teasing smile. And certain-

She’s _fucked_.

As simple as that.

Elizabeth lies on her bed -a mattress on the floor- and covers her eyes with the palm of her hands. 

She keeps pouting.

-

Jisoo observes everything with renewed interest.

It’s clear that the human has already fallen in deep for the other human, so all she can do is… to push it a little.

She knows that she’s not supposed to use _extra_ powers, but, isn’t it a way of helping?

A consequence-less way of helping!

So she looks at the sky and concentrates for a moment, internally hoping that a part of her remains actually Ethereal.

And like that, it stops raining.

Jisoo smiles. They say she isn’t supposed to be egocentric, but how _not_ to, considering the extent of her powers?

-

When the rain stops smashing against the glass of her window, Elizabeth frowns in confusion.

The way the storm quieted was… sudden.

She stands up in a rush, deciding that she doesn’t have plenty of time to think.

It’s already _late_ late, the light already faint due the heavy clouds is disappearing at a quick peace, so she gathers her painting stuff and runs towards Jennifer’s house.

-

The shortest brunette opens her front door with her face scrunched in confusion. Her features immediately brighten up at the sight of the painter.

“Oh, Liz! I thought you wouldn’t come!”

Elizabeth smiles big, still painting, as Jennifer lets her in.

Once both girls are secure under the roof, the rain starts again.

Elizabeth furrows her eyebrows, impressed by the sudden weather changes, but turns towards the shortest girl to speak.

“Yes, sorry… the rain… I know it’s late”.

“Oh no”, Jennifer protests, “I’m so glad you are here. I’m flattered that you decided to come despite the hour”.

“Well, I wanted to go on with the portrait. I feel inspired today, and I want to take advantage of that”.

“Oh”, Jennifer answers, and the slight disappointment faint in her voice makes Elizabeth widen her eyes.

She offended her.

“And to see you, of course. And… to talk”.

The shortest girl smiles lightly, in a thankful gesture that doesn’t reach her eyes.

“Truly! You are so interesting, and open, and gentle. I missed you”.

The last phrase is blurted of out her mouth in a rush, and the painter feels a wave of heat covering her cheeks.

However, she is rewarded with another smile, a _new_ one, that makes a dimple at the side of Jennifer’s cheek become more prominent. Elizabeth’s pads tingle anxiously. She wants to paint the girl in whichever facet she’s kind enough to show.

“I missed you too”, she lets her eyes linger on Elizabeth’s, “should we start then?”

“Yes”, the painter answers. 

She licks her lips in an anxious gesture.

They move to the bedroom.

“It’s dark”, the painter murmurs.

There is a silence characteristic of the late evening that lingers like a spell, making them both breath heavier.

“Should I light some candles?”

“Let me help you”.

They work together, mindful of their personal spaces as they had never been, feeling the slight tension common in their encounters becoming tighter. When they finish, the whole room is illuminated by yellowish, faint spots.

“Is this alright?” Jennifer asks.

It takes a few minutes for Elizabeth to realize that she’s referring to the setting.

“Yes. It’s different, but I like it. A bit more… sensual”.

The smile that crosses Jennifer’s features as she takes her usual spot at the armchair makes the painter shiver.

She begins working.

It’s different.

It’s different because the lights on the corner are creating shadows in Jennie’s soft and sharp features that make her look simply _ravishing_. Her long, bright, chocolate hair falls on top of her shoulders, going past her exposed collarbones. With her legs raised, her hanbok is stuck above her knees, leaving a part of her thighs visible, coated by honey.

It’s different because Elizabeth is buzzing with inspiration, with impulse, and with another feeling that she doesn’t recognize and is scared to try to name. Jennifer stares right at the painter, her cat eyes moving up and down as if she was analyzing her features, so she squirms and frowns to keep herself focused.

Elizabeth paints. She draws lines and colors and mixes and textures, and sometimes she bites her lower lip, unaware, when depicting the tiniest of the details.

It should be getting easier, it really should. But it isn’t.

Elizabeth wonders faintly if the burning of the candles could be heating up the room.

“Jenn, could you please put your legs a bit higher?”

The shortest girl blinks as if awoken of a dream. She moves slightly.

“Like this?”

“A bit higher”.

Jennifer tries again.

_Not quite_ , Elizabeth thinks, and stares at the scene for a moment.

“Lightly at the side? Sorry, I’m awful at directions”.

The shortest girl smiles nevertheless, and tries again.

Elizabeth stands then, thinking that it might be easier to show rather than tell. She kneels in front of Jennifer carefully, trying not to alter the girl’s position more than necessary.

She presses her indents in the flesh of Jennifer’s thighs softly, as gentle as possible, and swallows. The tenderness of the girl’s skin, her engulfing scent, her quick breath, everything becomes too much and she needs to pull away, she really needs to pull away, but Jennifer’s stare is blazing in hers, keeping her in place, unable to leave.

So she breathes deeply, as subtly as possible, and presses more. Jennifer leg moves under the pressure, and Elizabeth finds the pad of her fingers brushing _higher_.

The shortest girl gasps.

“Liz”, she murmurs, and the girl looks up again, a quick apology ready to leave her lips.

Jennifer doesn’t let her.

She moves her body forwards almost as if pushed by an unstoppable force and takes Elizabeth’s mouth in hers, her hands desperately grasping her shoulders.

The painter’s resolve crumbles down.

She feels a soft growl leaving her throat as she kisses Jennifer as deeply as she’s always wanted since the moment she let her eyes fix on her plump lips, since the moment she saw her standing still for the first time, absolutely gorgeous. 

Under the golden light of the half-consumed candles, everything becomes messy.

The girls stand up together, eager to be pressed against each other, their mouths still joined in a doomed promise. They push and pull to the king-size bed, panting between open kisses, throwing undeserving clothing here and there, and Elizabeth manages to lie the shortest girl on top of fluffy cushions first.

Jennifer doesn’t put up a fight. She opens her thighs for the painter’s body to fit right in between and closes them again, eager to feel the ardent connection once again. 

They move together, against each other, rushing every moment as if afraid of being too late. Jennifer lets foreign sounds escape past her open lips as Elizabeth discovers each magical spot. Whenever she’s is able too, whenever she’s not melting around the painter’s fingers, Jennifer explores Elizabeth’s limits as well. It’s blissfully high, and pleasantly low sometimes, and each thrust, each bite, each pinch is enough to send them both again in an ecstatic spell.

When it’s over, when their bodies are too numb to follow the force of their attraction, both girls fall asleep at the sound of the rain, still connected.

-

Outside Jennifer’s house, under the storm, Jisoo is still trying to shake the disgust out of her body.

“Bloody humans, they can’t just…”

Well, at least her job is done, isn’t it?

She touches her back. Nothing. She agitates her left hand over her head. Nothing.

“Come on after _that_? You’ve got to be kidding me”.

Silence.

Jisoo tilts her head up and curses one more time.

-

Jennifer wakes up with the almost-noon sun hitting her eyelids mercilessly. She frowns, annoyed, and even pouts a little before turning her body around.

Despite her efforts, consciousness is slowly raising. With her eyes still closed, she hazily goes over the events of the day before. She had breakfast. She cleaned the house. She had lunch. She read a book. She waited for Elizabeth, and then the rain, and then…

She fully wakes up in a subtle gasp, her heat hammering against her chest.

She knows, at the back of her mind, that an overwhelming guilt should be cursing through her veins.

It doesn’t.

Instead, all she can think about are lovely lips, and lovely hands, and lovely stares. 

Her chest warms up. She wouldn’t mind to do it all over again. She would actually very much like it to do it all over again.

As she reaches with her hand to the other side of the massive bed, she realizes that she can’t. She’s alone. Elizabeth is gone.

The initial emotion that alters Jennifer’s features is confusion. Then, the hints of shame.

She wakes up hastily thinking that maybe Elizabeth is rounding the house, working on her painting, making breakfast, anything, _anything_ that can tell the shortest girl that she hasn’t been used, that she wasn’t so unexperienced, so naïve, so awkward that the other girl had to run away.

She doesn’t find her anywhere.

Jennifer is left in her own kitchen, trying to fight against an insistent prickle in her eyes.

-

Elizabeth comes back two days after.

She carries her stuff under her arm, as she always does.

Jennifer welcomes her with a smile, as she always does as well.

The painter has spent enough hours observing the girl to notice that her eyes doesn’t sparkle as they are supposed to.

Jennifer sits on her armchair, puts her legs up and lets her chin fall on the palm of her hand.

Elizabeth begins painting silently, methodically, telling herself over and over again not to think about the softness of the skin she’s depicting.

Suddenly, she hears a muffled sound. She peeks at Jennifer once again, worried, and the sight at her eyes makes her heart shatter in two.

The shortest girl is crying.

Elizabeth gasps, feeling her plans, her beliefs, her convictions all fading away at the idea of Jennifer’s distress.

She stands up without a thought, and moves closer to her model with her eyebrows furrowed.

“Jenn, what’s wrong?”, she murmurs, and lets her fingers catch the girl’s tears, one by one.

“Was it that bad? Am I just a game for you? Is this something you do often?”

Jennifer spits her questions with a self-deprecating tone. Elizabeth gasps, and feels her chest constricting.

“No. Of course not. It was perfect”.

“Then I’m just another girl”.

Jennifer starts to sob softly, and Elizabeth can’t help but to wrap her tiny figure around her arms, putting her closer.

“You are not another girl. I’ve never done this before”.

The shortest girl stays silent for a moment, trying to turn her breathing back to normal.

“Why did you leave me, then?” she speaks with a small, broken voice.

Elizabeth pulls away, but keeps the girl’s face close to hers, her fingers pressing against fluffy cheeks.

“Jenn, you are _committed_ ”.

Jennifer’s eyes darken in a way the painter is not sure she’s ever seen before. She looks at her intensely, almost angry.

“He’s committed to his money. I’m not committed to anyone”.

Elizabeth parts her lips in surprise. The certainty in the girl’s voice takes her aback. There is new flame growing in her past sadness, and the painter can feel it in the way the atmosphere gets warmer.

She gives in.

She gives in in the way Jennifer is looking at her defiantly, mouth agape and cat-like eyes half-lidded. She moves forwards to catch the shortest girl’s lips in a wet kiss, her body buzzing again with an overwhelming joy. 

Jennifer answers in the same manner, her finger threading in waves of deep chocolate as she tries desperately to take everything in.

Elizabeth pulls away for a second, breathing heavily, feeling powerless and the most powerful at the same time.

“Take me again”, Jennifer murmurs hotly against her open mouth. She feels fingers pressed between her thighs. “Take me as many times as you’d like”.

The painter sighs loudly and attaches her lips to the shortest girl’s neck, letting her pads search for a warmer spot. She hears a muffled moan.

Elizabeth follows Jennifer’s orders impeccably.

-

The following days feel like a pipe dream.

Elizabeth goes to Jennifer’s house with her heat chanting against her chest.

Once the door is opened, an eager kiss awaits for her.

Sometimes, if the buzzing in her pads is too strong, she goes straight to painting. She lets the brush dance in the canvas delicately, each feature planned and pampered.

Sometimes, Jennifer feels playful. She brings a bottle of wine and two cups to the living room and they laugh, and lean in for a deep kiss, and giggle again, and talk about the things they’ve never talked with anybody else before.

Sometimes, their greeting kiss stings a bit more, their hands search a bit deeper. Sometimes Jennifer is forced to close the front door in a rush before Elizabeth starts to undress her right there, unable to stop herself. Often, make it to the bedroom. Occasionally, the painter’s creativity is put into test. She succeeds every time.

In one of the days when the pulling is too strong, when Jennifer doesn’t feel like sipping on expensive wine and Elizabeth can hold her creative cravings, they are pressed against each other on the silk fabrics of the king-size bed.

The painter is pressing open-mouthed kisses against Jennifer’s torso, who is letting out a humming sound. Elizabeth goes lower, eagerly, and then lower, carefully, just as she discovered that the shortest girl likes the most.

“You are my muse, my orchid”, she murmurs between breaths, “Gorgeous, dreamy”.

Jennifer is melting, delighted, feeling her thighs trembling in the midst of a long high. Once there is no higher to go, she is left breathing heavily.

“I love you”, she murmurs, her mind blank.

Elizabeth stops in her tracks. She looks up at the girl, but her surprised expression turns into disbelief.

“I do”, Jennifer protests, more conscious this time, her eyebrows furrowed.

“You can’t”, Elizabeth answers simply, and sits on the bed, feeling the shortest girl’s skin suddenly burning under her fingers. 

“What do you mean?” Jennifer asks, sitting straight as well.

Elizabeth tries to remain strong despite the hurting reflected in the girl’s tone.

“You simply _can’t_ ”.

Jennifer feels her lower lip trembling.

“You don’t love me?”, she asks, vulnerability dripping from her voice.

Elizabeth breathes heavily, as if she couldn’t make the air reach her lungs.

“I can’t”, she says, and moves away from the bed.

“Liz!”, Jennifer calls her, but Elizabeth is already putting her clothes on in a haste.

“What are we going to do when he comes back, Jennifer, huh? Keep up with our rendezvous? Have sex behind his back? Pretend we are normal people? This is not meant to be. 

This is a mistake”, the painter tells her, a feeling of doom hitting her bones in waves.

She knows that Jennifer is crying. She can hear her sobs. But she can’t turn away, because if she does…

She’ll stay.

“I would leave it all for you”, is the last one Elizabeth hears as she opens the bedroom door and runs away from the house.

-

Jisoo stares at the whole scene with her mouth agape in outrage.

_Humans are so stupid, so stupid_ , she thinks, and stomps her feet on the ground.

She tries to ignore the slightly uncomfortable feeling in her chest.

-

Elizabeth spends the following days lying on her mattress, crying.

She feels her heart sinking deeper and deeper in the middle of her chest.

She has told the truth. She doesn’t think that they are meant to be.

And yet…

She turns around in rage, in pain, in fear.

And yet she feels her heart breaking in a billon pieces.

Because she misses her, already. Knowing that she can’t go back, knowing that she won’t see her smile again, smell her sweet scent, kiss the pads of her fingers.

And also, because she hurt her. She made her cry. She spat horrifying truths at her face like it was nothing, and then she didn’t even have the decency to say that she was sorry, terribly sorry, that she feels her world crumbling down at the sight of pain flickering in her cat-like eyes.

Elizabeth sobs against her old cushion.

She didn’t even tell her the whole truth. The most important truth. The most terrifying truth.

She loves her back.

The painter grits her teeth.

She loves her back and she knows it instinctively, because she has never felt something alike before. She knows because her heart blossoms at the sight of her delicate features, chants when at the sound of her small chuckles, feels like bursting at the feeling of insistent indents being pressed against her skin.

She loves her and she just _knows_ it, like she knows which color will be the most appropriate for a landscape, which brush will play better in each canvas. She loves her in the way she loves art, naturally, without a second thought.

But they are not meant to be.

Elizabeth sighs and tries to sleep.

She can’t.

-

Staring through the window, Jisoo fells like pulling her hair out.

Seeing humans suffering is somewhat distressing, especially because the truth is right there, as clear as the thread that joins the girls’ ring fingers permanently.

The angel sits on the floor, reflexively.

She needs to make the human _understand_ , but she knows that she can’t knock on the glass of the window and tell the girl that she’s about to let go the love of her life. It would freak her out forever.

Besides, it’s _sort of_ outside the rules. Not that she hasn’t broken them before.

She can speak to Elizabeth. She can subtly prompt her to go and fight for her girl because she is not getting anything alike ever in her life anymore.

But that will mean interacting with humans, and well…

She could just send a signal.

Jisoo’s eyes light up.

That would be perfect.

Al little push for Elizabeth to stop being a complete idiot and beg Jennifer for forgiveness, because honestly, abandoning her was a rather stupid move, no matter the motives.

The angel stands up, the first toothy smile since she arrived to Earth adorning her features.

She has it all sorted out.

-

Elizabeth stares outside the window with a blank mind and a blank expression.

She hasn’t slept for days, so her body is drifting off without permission.

She doesn’t care, really. The buzzing in her head somehow overlaps with the pain in her chest.

Suddenly, something happens.

A strong breeze opens her window, surprisingly, given the fact that the weather seemed pretty sunny and calm just a minute ago. It takes Elizabeth some minutes to react. When she’s reaching out to close her window again, a flower carried by the wind enters through it to lie on top of her desk.

The breeze stops, but Elizabeth doesn’t notice. She looks at the flower with a perplex expression, and gets closer to it as if it would bite.

When she holds her carefully between her fingers, Elizabeth begins to tear up.

An orchid.

The painter looks at it for a moment.

Is that a signal?

She feels her heart chanting against her chest.

_It is, it is_.

Elizabeth holds her flower close and leaves the apartment in a rush.

-

Jennifer hears a knock on the door.

She ignores it, putting the book that she has been pretending to be reading for two hours closer to her nose.

The knocking intensifies.

She huffs, wondering who could be stubborn enough not to realize that there is no one in the house, at least no one with enough will in their bodies to open the door.

The noise stops for a moment.

Jennifer relaxes her shoulders.

And then it starts again.

The short brunette walks to the door in quick, uncharacteristic steps, and just as she’s reaching the doorknob, she hears the voice she’s been meaning, fearing, waiting to hear for days.

“Jenn, I know you are there. Please, open”.

Jennifer hesitates, feeling the shame and pain she felt the day that the painter abandoned her cursing trough her veins once again.

“Please, please”, she hears in a broken voice.

The girl opens the door.

At the other side, Elizabeth stands with a desperate expression, clutching at the most beautiful bouquet of flowers Jennifer has seen in her entire life. She looks pale, and there are dark shadows under her eyes, and she shortest girl can’t help but to think painfully that she looks stunning nevertheless.

She lets her in, mindful of her neighbors, but keeps looking at her with a stern expression.

She can’t pretend that it’s all alright, she can’t-

“I love you”, Elizabeth says, her coffee eyes burning in Jennifer’s cat-like stare.

“What?”, the shortest girl asks, taken aback.

“I love you. I love you so much that I can’t stop thinking about you. You drive me crazy. You make me feel like nobody else has made me feel in my entire life and it’s terrifying. I don’t even- I don’t think I can _breathe_ properly when you are around, but it’s all joy, it’s all beauty. And I’m sorry. I’m sorry I was such a stupid idiot and had to ruin us, but everything felt so impossible, so surreal that I just had to run away. And it was too late. You are so deep in my heart I don’t think I could take you out even if I wanted to. And I don’t. I don’t”.

Elizabeth concludes her speech breathing heavily, almost crushing the flowers under her hand.

Jennifer stares at her silently, her eyes full of tears, before taking a step forwards.

“It took you long enough, you damn idiot”.

Elizabeth opens her eyes in a moment, and in the next one, she drops the bouquet to the floor to wrap Jennifer in a searing kiss. The shortest girl answers with equal enthusiasm, her skin tingling at the idea of being pressed against her love once again. 

“I love you”, Elizabeth murmurs again against Jennifer’s open mouth. She presses kisses against her jaw, feeling more free than ever, “I love you”.

“ _Mhh_ , I love you too”, Jennifer answers and tilts her head to the side, claiming more kisses, “but you crushed my flowers”.

“I’ll buy you more”, the painter murmurs against tender skin. She unwraps the shortest girl’s hanbok. “As many as you’d like, love”.

“Good”, the girl answers, a sudden wet feeling on her chest making her mewl, “you have…some making up to do”.

She closes her eyes in bliss, her eyelids fluttering.

“Anything. Anything for you”.

“Good then”, Jennifer grabs a fistful of brunette hair and pulls her up softly. “Take me here. And then on my bed. And then in the bath”, she murmurs against Elizabeth’s ear.

The tallest girl chuckles lowly.

“Anything else?”

“Then, you will make lunch. You’ll paint me some more. And you’ll take me again. As many times as I wish”.

Elizabeth feels her fingers trembling in desire.

“Yes”, she says, and lets her lips search for the shortest girl’s mouth, suddenly desperate, “ _yes_ ”.

She complies with every single one of Jennifer’s wishes.

-

Jisoo sits in front of Jennifer’s house. She knows better than to stay close enough to hear what’s happening inside.

Once the humans have finally, _finally_ confessed their love, there is only one more thing to deal with.

The husband.


	9. Arc III (3) - 1720

Chinhwa sits in the bar stool with a big smile plastered in his face. He finishes his glass of soju in two big gulps and asks for another one.

“I sold everything. I’m telling you, I’m a genius”.

His friend laughs loudly just beside his hear before slamming the palms of his hairy hands on the table.

“I can’t believe you make people think that your stuff is good. Imagine!”

He laughs again, and Chinhwa follows. 

“What now, selling master? You stay to enjoy the spectacle?” he wiggles his eyebrows and motions behind them, where a group of women on revealing dresses are staring at them pointedly.

“Maybe tonight, but then I’m going back home”.

He smiles at the sight of his refilled glass.

“Oh, to the wife”.

Chinhwa shrugs in disinterest.

“Yeah, I suppose”.

His friend looks at him with glassy eyes.

“Not happy with what you’ve got?”

Chinhwa hugs his bag of money closer to his chest and smiles.

“Romance is business. My wife stays away when I need her to stay away. That’s what I get out of that”.

Chinhwa’s friend laughs once again without knowing exactly why.

-

Jisoo observes everything from the darkest corner of the bar.

“Fucking idiot”, she murmurs, and she starts to scheme.

She needs to stop Jennifer’s husband from going back home, at least until the girls there decide to put two and two together and run away as quickly as they can. But they are humans, hence, they are slow, so Jisoo needs to win time.

She could simply scare him off, tell him there is some sort of curse waiting for him at his house, but it would imply getting involved in the situation directly.

Besides, with his temper, he could merely curse her and ride back home only to find his wife and the painter he’s paying to getting to know each other way better in his bed.

And she can’t kill him. Those are the rules. No extreme changes, no involving others, definitely not killing anybody.

Jisoo stares throughout the window. The cheap bar is placed on the second floor of an unstable building. She looks at Chinhwa standing up, slightly unbalanced due to the excess of alcohol, and as he reaches the door with a lost stare, Jisoo’s face is illuminated by an idea.

They said _no killing_ , but they never said _no making a step of a stair slightly weaker so somebody trips and falls from a second floor distance_.

Jisoo smiles. That would mean no death, no serious risks, just something minor, like a broken leg. A small setback in the husband’s return so the lovers kilometers away can work things out.

So that’s exactly what she does. As Chinhwa is going down the stairs, a step suddenly breaks under his feet and he falls directly to the floor.

Expected.

What Jisoo didn’t expect however, was the piece of wood falling along with him, hitting the floor moments before his body and then being crushed against the weight of the man’s temple.

The angel stares in disbelief at the man passed away some meters below her, the people around running towards him with a worried expression. As one civilian shouts that she needs more pieces of cloth to stop the bleeding, Jisoo tilts her head upwards and curses loudly.

She’s absolutely dead.

-

“Did you really finish?”, Jennifer asks, sporting a gummy smile.

Elizabeth grins with mischief.

“I need to work on some details at home. But yes, you won’t have to stay in the same position for hours anymore”.

“I didn’t mind”, Jennifer tells her, and gets closer to claim a kiss, “Although I like the idea of having more time available for each other”.

Elizabeth responds to the kiss with eagerness, but stands up quickly, blocking Jennifer’s vision of the portrait.

“What?”, the shortest girl asks.

“It’s a surprise, love”, Elizabeth answers, and leans down to kiss her neck as a way of distracting her.

“ _Mmh_ , but…”

The painter presses Jennifer closed to her body.

“You’ll see it later. I promise”.

As Elizabeth’s hands squeeze the back of her thighs, the shortest girl cannot complain.

-

Chinhwa, being the hard-headed man he is, survives the incident. Barely. Thanks to the bag of money that the doctors spotted and prompted them to work quicker than usual.

The man looks throughout the small window of his hospital room intently. 

“You barely made it, man”.

“Yes. I was lucky”, Chinhwa answers.

His friend leans his weight back and the feeble chair he’s sitting on complains.

“How is almost dying?” he asks.

Chinhwa looks at his friend with a serious expression.

“Revealing”.

The other man hums with interest.

“And what have you realized?”

Chinhwa frowns, his face soaked in worry.

“That I have no heir for my business”.

His friend nods, understanding.

“This is all I invested my life in. Buying and selling. Growing stronger and stronger, success after success. Once I die however…”

“It will be all gone”, his friend murmurs.

Chinhwa squints his eyes in determination.

“Not if I can’t help it”.

His friend smiles.

“You better work on that heir, friend”.

-

Jisoo wants to pull her hair out.

_What?!_

-

Jennifer opens the front door with a smile adoring her features. She can’t wait to have Elizabeth close to her again. She can’t wait to see her smile, to hear her giggle, to taste her mouth.

Instead, she is met with the sight of her husband, a white bandage around his head.

Her entire face drops along with her heart in her chest. Chinhwa however, is too busy making his way inside the house to even notice.

“Hello”, he merely humbles, and begins to take his shoes off.

Jennifer looks at him perplex, feeling her dream starting to crumble under the weight of reality.

“What happened to you?”

He turns around to look at her for the first time in a month, just briefly, before looking back at his feet again.

“This? I fell from the stairs of a bar. I almost died”.

“What?” Jennifer asks, more moved by confusion than by concern.

Chinhwa merely shrugs, and begins moving towards the living room. When he notices that his wife doesn’t follow him, he looks at her expectantly.

Jennifer stares back, crossing her arms against her chest.

“Shall we go to the living room? I want to talk to you about something”.

The girl waits for a second before nodding. She feels her the pace of her heart quickening.

_He can’t possibly know._

Once they are both sitting on the living room couch, Chinhwa sighs.

“We need to have a child.”

Jennifer chokes on air.

“ _What_?”

She stares at him with wide eyes, clearly lost.

“I need an heir for my business. I can’t trust anybody else but my own blood to follow my steps”, he explains simply, his voice almost bored, “besides, you’ve always wanted a child, right?”

Jennifer opens her mouth, dumbfounded.

It’s true. She’s always wanted a child, but-

“Well? Isn’t it fantastic?”

Jennifer swallows.

“Chinhwa, I really think you are rushing this.”

“Rushing this?”, his features show disbelief, “you’ve been asking me for a damn child since even before we got married. What’s gotten into you? What’s wrong with _right now_? It’s not like you’ll be able to carry children for much longer”.

Jennifer feels her body starting to shake.

“I just don’t think it’s the right time!”

Chinhwa looks at her, actually looks at her for the first time in the day. Despite the distress in her features, she looks radiant, in a way he hasn’t seen before. It makes him narrow his eyes.

“So you’ve wanted to have a child since before we even met, and after I leave for a month, you reject the idea completely. Has someone made you changed your mind, huh? Somebody you’ve been fucking behind my back?”

Jennifer blushes profusely as anger and shame fill up her chest.

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“I don’t care, really. I’ve been fucking other women, too. We both know that”.

She shortest girl scoffs.

“Then why don’t you ask them to give you a child?”

Chinhwa looks at her with disbelief.

“Because he would be a damn bastard, you know that. We are tied for life, Jennifer. Don’t forget it”.

The girl feels hot tears welling up in her eyes.

It’s true.

“And I can ruin you”, he explains, his voice calm again, “I can _absolutely_ ruin you. Do you think your parents will take you back if I kick you out? Do you think I can’t stain your reputation forever? I can even send one of my friends to imprison you _and_ your lover forever. I’m powerful like that, you know it”.

Jennifer grits her teeth, the nails pressed against the palm of her own hands breaking through her skin.

It’s true, it’s all true.

She sobs with her head hanging low as her husband waits patiently for an answer.

He doesn’t care. Jennifer knows that he doesn’t care about her, about his child, about nobody else. He just cares about himself and his money, and that makes him somehow invincible, hard as a rock, impossible to move.

She knows that she is about to lose it all.

So she settles for her only chance of a small victory.

“I will have your child”, she murmurs, her voice low.

“Good! I knew-”

“But as much as you can ruin me, I can ruin them”.

Chinhwa looks at her, perplex.

“What?”

Jennifer stares right into his eyes, tilting her head up.

“You are away most of the time. You need to be. All for your money, right?”, Jennifer lets sarcasm paint her tone, “So you won’t know what happens to them when you are gone”.

“Jennifer, please, you wouldn’t hurt a child”.

The shortest girl nods.

“I wouldn’t. I will love _my_ child with everything I have. But what if they grow up to be doctor, or, I don’t know, an artist? What if I gift them pencils every birthday? What if I tell them how boring, dull, and horrible businesses are so that they come to hate them as much as I do?”

Chinhwa breathes hard throughout his nose.

“Your whole heir idea will crash down. You will see your child, your blood growing up to be everything you hate”.

“What the _fuck_ you want, Jennifer?”

The shortest girl leans her body against the back of the couch.

“I want you to stay completely out of every other decision I take. I want you to stay quiet unless I ask for your opinion. I want you to respect me, do you hear? Or at least to pretend that you can respect any other human being but yourself”.

The man looks at his wife with wild eyes, his body leant backwards as if crushed by fear.

“You can’t-”

“I can and I will. Don’t push me”.

Chinhwa stays quiet for a moment.

“Alright”, he says.

Jennifer stands.

“I will be out tomorrow morning. Then, we can talk about my child”.

She looks at him, defiance burning in her eyes.

“Okay”, he says simply.

When Jennifer enters her room, she breaks down sobbing, her exhausted body crumbling down on the carpet. 

She can still smell her lover’s scent lingering in the air.

-

Elizabeth is still sleeping when she hears a loud knocking at the door. She sits on the bed, startled, and needs a few seconds to take in her surroundings.

The knocking continues.

The painter ties her night attire tighter around her waist then, and tries to fix her long hair in a few strokes to look at least presentable before opening the door.

When she does, her immediate reaction is a rush of happiness quickening the pace of her heartbeats. Her lover is there. However, her joy is suddenly engulfed by sharp worry. 

Jennifer is sobbing.

She gathers the small girl between her arms, shushing her as she closes the door. The shortest girl hides her face in the curve of the painter’s neck, but doesn’t stop crying.

“What’s wrong love? What happened?” Elizabeth asks in whispers, desperate, as she lets the palm of her hands caress her lover’s back.

“We need… we can’t do this anymore”, Jennifer lets out between painful whispers.

The painter waits for a few seconds, frozen, feeling a wave of sorrow wrapping her heart and squeezing hard. Still hugging the shortest girl, she guides her to the mattress on the floor. She sits down and prompts Jennifer to do the same, just between her legs so she can keep it close to her chest. At least one more time.

“He found out?”, Elizabeth asks finally, her voice thick as a few tears begin to run down her checks.

Jennifer pulls away from her hiding, blissful spot to stare at her lover.

“No. He wants a child”.

Elizabeth understands. She understands power, and understands reputation, and understands it all just because it’s Jennifer, and she has learnt that she experiences every single one of her lover’s emotions as if it was one of her own.

“Why?”, she asks.

The brunette searches for Elizabeth’s hand and intertwines her finger with hers.

“He wants an heir. He had some sort of near-death experience, and now… and now…” Jennifer’s lips tremble before she begins to sob again.

Elizabeth squeezes her tiny frame tighter, trying to memorize everything.

“I’m so sorry, Liz. I’m so sorry”.

The tallest girl is crying as well, but she pulls away to hold her lover’s face delicately.

“It’s not your fault”, she pecks Jennifer’s lips softly, “It’s not your fault, love, I know”, another kiss, I know”, and another.

The shortest girl pulls her fully in, wrapping her in a desperate kiss that tastes like salt and pain.

When the pull away, Elizabeth keeps her close, speaking against a swollen mouth.

“I love you, Jen. I loved you yesterday, when we made love. I love you today, knowing that we can’t be together. And I will love you tomorrow, and all the following days I’m alive, because you taught me how to love. There won’t be anybody like you, ever, and I’m okay with that. It was worth it. Every single bit of this”.

Jennifer breathes in short gasps. She threads her fingers with Elizabeth’s chocolate locks.

“I love you. I love you so much. I would do it all again, even if it hurts, even if I’m left empty forever. It was beautiful like that. It _is_ beautiful like that”.

They cry together for a while, their foreheads pressing against each other, knowing that, despite being torn apart, they will always be connected. They have exchanged a piece of their hearts.

-

Jisoo looks at the scene with wide eyes and a foreign feeling blooming in her chest.

“This can’t end like this. It can’t be”.

She tries to do something, anything. She tries to make it pour, to lock Elizabeth’s door forever, to make Chinhwa trip on his feet and smash his face against the floor.

She quickly discovers that she is powerless. She has lost her chance.

She feels a cold wave shaking her body. Then, another. 

Jisoo tries to fight it back, desperately, because _it can’t be_ , but she feels her mind becoming drowsy.

Then, a sharp sting of pain.

Then, nothing.

-

A few months later, Jennifer is sitting on her bed, staring through the window, caressing the bump on her stomach lovingly.

It still hurts, sometimes. Other times, the memories make her chest fill with so much warmth that she can’t stop smiling during the whole day.

She stays true to her words. She doesn’t regret a single thing.

She hears a ruffle against the door before her husband opens it loudly, struggling to hold a big object with his left hand.

“Won’t you look at it”, he begins, “the painter actually sent the portrait”.

Jennifer feels her heartbeats increasing. She gasps mutely as she stares at the covered painting.

“And I didn’t even pay her for it. She came while I was gone?”

The shortest girl gets closer to her portrait. She grasps one of the threads that tie the wrapping together.

“Yes”, she simply answers, “a few times”.

Then, she reveals the painting.

Jennifer feels tears welling up in her eyes. 

It’s absolutely mesmerizing.

It’s _her_ , true, sitting in the armchair, in the position she spent hours and hours frozen in.

But it’s much more than that.

The lighting on the picture strikes every single of her features, depicted close to perfection, in way that makes her seem invincible, radiant. Her eyes shine with the spark of passion, her lips contrast against her cupid’s bow with the color of pure desire. Her hair, deep chocolate, falls in soft waves past prominent collarbones. The rest of her body, every curve, very trace of smooth skin, looks plain seducing. 

Jennifer is glad that her husband is stupid enough not to realize that the portrait screams love, raw, pure, wild love. She’s depicted as a goddess, and even if she doubts greatly that she looks anything like that in real life, she still feels flattered. Loved.

Chinhwa lets out a loud whistle as he stares at the painting.

“That’s great piece. Should have paid her”, she lends Jennifer an envelope, “this came with the portrait”.

Jennifer grabs the envelope a bit to eagerly, but Chinhwa is too busy nodding at the painting, impressed, to even notice.

He moves towards the door right after. He has more important things to do than to look at art the whole day. As he’s about to leave, he hesitates.

“Do you want something?”, he asks.

Jennifer says that she’s alright. Once she’s alone, she reads her letter.

_Dear Jenn,_   
_I hope this portrait of you can depict a half of the entirety of your beauty._   
_Thank you for being the best model I’ve ever had._   
_Thank you for being my muse._   
_You will always remind me of orchids._   
_Love,_   
_Liz._

Jennifer puts the letter against her heart and cries.

-

“Oh, hello, came for your painting?”

Elizabeth smiles at her client as he nods. She looks through her pile of wrapped pieces and finds the one she’s looking for.

She’s doing good. Great, even. She has raised enough money to move away from her shitty house and keeps winning enough money not to eat plain white rice every day.

Art enthusiasts and upperclassmen that want to look fancy ask her for pieces nonstop. Elizabeth is inspired enough to provide with better paintings each time. She has overcome her block. She has met her muse, after all.

“This was on the door”, the man tells him before handing her a generous sum of money. It’s an envelope.

Once the man is gone, Elizabeth opens it. There is a letter inside.

_My true love,_   
_I hung the portrait in my bedroom, both because it’s absolutely stunning and because it reminds me of you._   
_Pease, write once in a while. I crave hearing from you._   
_I will love you forever as well._   
_Always yours,_   
_Jennifer_

Elizabeth smiles through hot tears. After a while, she starts painting again.

-

Jisoo stares at absolutely nothing with dead eyes.

She reflects on every single mistake.


	10. Arc IV (1) - 1850

Ellise wakes up when the sun is already extending light in all its glory. She rolls around once, twice, and hugs one of her fluffy cushions against her chest. Her eyelids flutter up and down tiredly, and she runs her fingers through her walnut locks, considering the idea of falling asleep again. She’s actually about to push one of her heavy blankets off of the bed to be more comfortable, when an agile creature jumps on top of her chest.

Ellise looks at her cat with a pout, but smiles lazily immediately after.

“Hello, Louis”, she hums, and the feline licks his pawn and proceeds to meow once.

The brunette takes it as a greeting. She pets her cat for a moment and then puts him on top of her bed.

She stands up, feeling already energized by the way in which sunshine entering through the window heats up her skin. She is reminded once again why she adores summertime.

Ellise gets out of her bedroom, moves through the neat large hall connecting the rooms of her house, and opens a few doors to get to the dining room. The smell of just-made food hits her nose immediately and her smile widens. On her way to the table, she sees her family’s maid.

“Hello, Micha”, she greets, and bows slightly.

The maid looks at her fondly as she greets her back.

Reaching the table, where a few plates full of warm food are waiting for her, she spots her mother knitting with a slight frown.

“Hello, mum”, she says, and the older woman rises her head to look at her daughter.

“Hello, darling. How did you sleep?”

Ellise is already munching a piece of toast, her eyes shining at the delicious taste.

“Good!”, she swallows, “I dreamt about a wonderful castle. I lived there”.

Her mother looks at her with soft eyes, putting her work aside to listen to her better.

“Were you the Queen?”

Ellise thinks for a moment, and then denies vehemently.

“No. I don’t think so. But I was happy”.

“That’s all that matters”, Ellise’s mom states, and then goes back to her knitting.

“Dad has already left for work?

The girl smiles at her maid bringing her a cup of hot milk. She thanks her cheerfully.

“Yes. He’s coming back in the afternoon”.

“Good! I hope he’s in the mood for helping me with my piano lessons”.

Ellise’s mother chuckles.

“As if he could ever say no to you”.

The girl smiles proudly. Then, she proceeds to devour the rest of her breakfast.

Her day goes on exactly as most of her days do. She plays with her cat, talks to her mom, takes some pictures with the newest camera available in the market, practices playing the piano, and then has a warm bath before going to sleep.

Once in bed again, she is still smiling from ear to ear. There are dull days, but they are very rare.

-

Jenilyn wakes up with her aching back resting on the blankets on the floor. She rubs her knuckles against her eyelids, trying to adapt her eyes to the lack of light. There is no hint of the sun going up yet, but the girl knows that her day has started, and she has no time to lose.

She stands up slowly, trying not to wake up her parents just a few meters away. She moves through the room with the same care, her feet warm against the cold floor. Once she reaches the kitchen, she ties up her hair and fills a bucket with water. She starts to clean.

She finishes in a matter of minutes. There is no much cleaning to do in a tiny room equipped with a few pieces of furniture here and there. She sighs, semi-content with the polished floors, and searches in the cabinets for ingredients to prepare breakfast. There is no much there. 

_There is no much anywhere_ , Jenilyn thinks. She tugs at the tips of her chocolate hair for a moment. She takes out some flour, yeast, and salt. Bread will have to fill their stomachs for the day.

When the first purplish spots begin to adorn the sky, Jenilyn parents enter the kitchen. They both sport matching dark shadows under their eyes, matching downward tugs on the corners of her lips, and matching broken skin at the sides of their nails. 

The brunette greets them with a low voice, afraid of startling them, of prompting another hard morning, of wearing off the last bits of their dream.

They both mumble a greeting, their bodies falling heavy on the floor, sitting in front of their dining table.

Jenilyn puts the just-made bread and two cups of warm water in front of the bodies. They start eating slowly, silently, as the sunshine starts to change colors against of the torn curtains that cover the kitchen window.

The brunette munches slowly too, trying to convince her stomach that she’s eating enough. When her parents finish eating, she cleans the table.

“How many?”, Jenilyn’s mom asks to her dad.

“As many as necessary to eat tomorrow”, he answers sharply.

The brunette washes the dishes.

“How many?”, the woman asks again, the tiredness of her voice now mixed with arising anger.

“Fifteen”, the man answers then, and Jenilyn’s feels a sound of protest vibrating against her lips.

She stays quiet.

“We won’t finish on time”, her mom murmurs, but moves across the room to find the shelf full of broken shoes anyways. She takes them all out, along with the tools needed to fix them, and scatters all items on the floor.

“When are you coming back?”, Jenilyn’s father suddenly asks her, dark eyes boring into hers.

“As soon as I finish”, she says, and looks throughout the window to see the light become more golden.

His father nods, carries his body besides the one of his wife, and starts to work in the same way he has been working every day of his life for years and years.

Jenilyn stares at her parents getting their hands dirty with the wax of the shoes of upperclassmen and ties her hanbok around her waist. She has no time to be sad. She needs to get her hands dirty with the trash of the mansion of an upper-class woman. 

A few hours later, as she’s running back to her home again under the scorching sun, sweat reaching her cheeks, she remembers why she hates summertime so much.

Her day goes on as most of her days do. She works, and she cleans, and she waits to be in the solitude of her bathroom to muffle her cries. Then, when her fingers are already trembling, she goes back to sleep.

-

Nemamiah lies down in the void with her forearms covering her eyes. Staring at nothing can be boring, exhausting, and it can accentuate the pounding in her back to the point it burns. 

Suddenly, she’s blinded by a white light. 

She stands up, startled.

This time, there is no voice.

Jisoo falls onto Earth in a loud thud. She looks around her with wide eyes, finding everything different. The humans move past her, blind to her ethereal figure. They are all different, too.

It takes her more than a few seconds -shamefully- to realize that she has been given a second chance. She feels an already forgotten warmth fill her chest, and her hands become slightly clammy.

This is her opportunity to get out that cursed void. The opportunity to fulfil her life purpose again. The opportunity to wash the shame off her soul.

So she puts her hands on her waist and concentrates, her dark eyes fixed on the sky. Surely they must give her some sort of clue, basic pieces of information so she knows what to do next. 

Nothing comes.

Jisoo keeps looking at endless sky-blue now with absolute disbelief.

How is she even supposed to-

“Hi”.

Jisoo turns around to the honey-dripping voice quickly, with her eyebrows already furrowed.

“I’m Chaeyoung”, a tall, blonde girl says, and offers her a delicate hand.

It takes Jisoo a few moments -shamefully so, she’s so slow in Earth- to realize that she’s staring at a fellow angel.

 _A Guardian_ , she realizes with slight disdain poisoning her thoughts.

“What are you doing here?”, she asks then, ignoring the way in which the Guardian lowers her hand but keeps a steady smile in her soft features.

“I’m here to help you!”

The cheery tone used by the angel doesn’t make Jisoo feel any joyful herself.

“ _What_?”

She feels outraged. A Guardian, helping a whole Dominion in achieving a task as simple as making two humans live happily in their own stupid bubble? It must be part of her punishment. Of course. They would do anything to degrade her.

“I’m here to assist you in your task of helping the humans Kim Jenilyn and Manoban Ellise to find eternal joy in their status of soulmates”.

Jisoo feels like screaming. Instead, she runs her fingers through her rich, dark hair.

“I know what you are here for. What I’m saying is that I don’t need you. I’m perfectly fine working alone”.

Chaeyoung tilts her head to the side and Jisoo narrows her eyes.

“Well, my superiors told me that you were having difficulties”.

The dark-haired angel lifts her chin and lets out a sound of indignation.

“I had _difficulties_ because those damn humans wouldn’t get anything right. All their decisions were questionable. Maybe the _difficulty_ was that I expected them to act like fucking rational creatures! I would have liked to see you working in such conditions”.

Chaeyoung merely smiles with amusement and a tad of shyness.

“I work with humans often. I’m a Guardian”.

Jisoo feels herself blushing, and she absolutely despises it.

“Well, good for you, but I stand in my position. I can work on this on my own. I mean, how difficult it can be? I just need to push them together and that’s it. Maybe I’ll make them, I don’t know, meet in the streets or something like that, and then they can-”

“That may be quite difficult”, Chaeyoung interrupts. She keeps looking at Jisoo with sparkly eyes.

The brunette merely sighs in annoyance.

“Why?”

“Well, they live six hours away”.

Jisoo stares at the angel with her mouth agape.

“Wait, how do you even… They told you, didn’t they?”

Chaeyoung nods excitedly, now a toothy smile adorning her features.

The dark-haired angel runs her hand through her hair again. The Guardian has the information that she needs. 

So, she needs _her_.

“Fine”, she says then, “let’s just… do this damn thing”.

The blonde angel lets squeaky sound leave her mouth as she celebrates with a jump, now visibly joyful.

“I’m sure we will do great, Jisoo!”

The brunette looks at her now teammate as an unknown rush waves against her chest.

“Yeah, cool… whatever”, she finds herself saying.

She doesn’t even ask Chaeyoung if she knows her real name.

-

Ellise reaches out to caress the smoothest skin that she’s ever seen. She smiles to herself, happy. Her hands cup fluffy cheeks and she squeezes lightly, feeling a giggle bubbling in her chest. It’s so warm, so _beautiful_. She moves forwards naturally, as if under a spell. Her lips part, excited, awaiting. Soft but firm hands place themselves on her waist, and Ellise relishes in an anew feeling of security. She pushes her face forwards more urgently. She craves for that _something_ that she’s about to reach. She’s just some inches apart. A sweet breath makes her gasp. She just has to-

The brunette sits up in bed startled. Her cat is looking at her, lying on top of her lap with a bored expression. Ellise frowns, but pets him anyway.

She wakes up and moves to the dining room still pondering on her dream. She greets her maid, like she always does, but fails to plaster a toothy smile on her face.

She reaches the table and finds her parents murmuring softly, both sharing a knowing smile. Ellise’s mother keeps working on her knitting. Her father takes a break from his daily newspaper reading.

“Hello”, the brunette murmurs then, and puts a spoonful of scrambled eggs quickly in her mouth.

“Good morning, honey”, her father smiles, and looks at his wife as if seeking for help.

“What’s wrong, Elle?”, her mother inquires immediately.

Ellise squirms in her seat, not knowing if she should be relived or annoyed at her parents being able to read her so well.

“Nothing, I just…”.

“C’mon honey, you can tell us”, her father tries again, playing the corner of his moustache.

Ellise waits, trying to put her thoughts in order. There isn’t anything necessarily wrong, but there’s this feeling… this emptiness that has been swirling in her chest too often lately, sometimes settling in the morning, sometimes arising at nights.

“How did you two meet?”, she blurts out then, and her parents share a look before staring at her again.

“I had to come to Seoul with my father because we needed to find some imported goods. I bumped into your mother in the market and it was love at first sight”.

Ellise’s mom chuckles fondly, a slight content blush making her seem ten years younger.

“He bought a handful of spinaches and gave them to me as if they were a bouquet of flowers. I was clueless as of why this boy was looking at me so intensely”

“I was struck by your beauty! Besides, the spinaches thing worked out huh?”, Ellise’s father teases, reaching out to place his big hand on top of her wife’s.

“Just because you were so handsome”.

“Were?”

Ellise decides to intervene, not interested in witnessing interactions that she won’t be able erase from her brain.

“Dad, you were living in Chuncheon by then, right? How did you manage to stay in contact?”

Ellise’s father smiles.

“We sent each other letters every two weeks until I moved to Seoul”.

The brunette hums, understanding.

“It must have been hard”.

“Not really. It was romantic. Even though sometimes I really wanted to have your father by my side”, Ellise’s mother smiles with slight mischief, and the girl tries to ignore it, “I think that that period of distance made us stronger. We got to know a lot about each other before we were face-to-face again”.

“And it helped me to write better, so, a plus”.

Ellise’s mother hits her husband on the arm, still grinning.

“Was _that_ your main purpose?”

“Of course not, darling. My main purpose was to convince you that I was a respectable man”.

They keep talking, but Ellise drifts off.

She drinks her black tea with her eyes fixed on the window.

She wants to have what they have, the history, the playfulness, the soft eyes.

She wants to find love.

-

“Oh my, that was the cutest thing ever!” Chaeyoung squeals.

Jisoo merely shrugs, thinking that it was unnecessarily over the top, as almost everything humans do.

“It was fine. Now, back to our main issue. The humans still don’t know each other”.

The blonde gets suddenly serious, her features adopting a thinking expression.

“Well, if they are soulmates, they are destined to meet, right?”

Jisoo runs her fingers through her hair.

“Yes, but they can meet tomorrow, or on five years, or in forty. We don’t know. That’s why we are here. To push it”.

Chaeyoung looks at the fellow angel with an unsure expression.

“Are you sure?”

“Of course”, Jisoo scoffs, “why would they send us right now, otherwise?”

The blonde hums, deep in thought again.

“We just need them to meet”.

“Well, Ellise’s parents said that they met by casualty, in a market”.

Jisoo sits on the floor and her fellow angel imitates her.

“I know, I heard, but we cannot wait until that happens and we cannot force them to meet anywhere. That would imply one of them traveling more than two hundred kilometers and it’s just…”

“Unrealistic”.

The brunette tilts her head upwards.

“Yeah”.

There is a moment of silence. Chaeyoung caresses her own thighs, considering.

“What if we skip the meeting part?”

Jisoo looks at her teammate with interest.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, Ellise’s mother said that she actually fell in love with her husband because of the letters. She was able to meet him through them”.

The brunette nods, a plan drawing itself in her head.

“But I don’t know how we can make them start writing to each other”.

“Oh, please. That Ellise girl yearns for love. After her talk with her parents, all we need to do is to drop an address anywhere close to her eyesight and she would immediately believe it is a signal”.

“Well, it kind of is, isn’t it?”

Jisoo doesn’t answer. She bolts her body up and puts her hands on her waist.

“Good! We got a plan. Now, let’s move so this whole thing can be over for good”.

She stares at Chaeyoung expectantly, and the blonde smiles at her with a satisfied smile.

“We make a good team”, she murmurs, her sweet voice lowering as her eyes shine in content.

Jisoo is hit by the unknown emotion again.

“Yeah, yeah… cool”.

The blonde chuckles slightly, and Jisoo turns around huffing. 

She rubs the palm of her hands against her cheeks in an attempt to make her blush disappear.

-

Ellise sits on her white desk, one hand sketching an icy landscape and the other one petting her cat sleeping soundly on her lap.

She sighs, feeling the emptiness occupying her chest once again. As she draws a long, gray line, she wonders if someone will ever think about her, write her poems, send her flowers. Her friends had told her -having heard from their parents before- that romance never lasts, that it’s a pretty illusion maintained until the lovers get used to each other, until they get simply _bored_. Ellise seriously doubts that her parents are bored of each other. She doesn’t think that true love ever stops sparkling.

She leans her body back, resting comfortably against the cushions of her chair.

Ellise couldn’t possibly know about those feelings, always, because she has never loved anybody like _that_. 

She uses the pad of her finger to smear a shadow. Meanwhile, her cat starts to move restlessly against her lap. Suddenly, he wakes up, alert. He jumps on top of the desk and stares intently throughout the open window, moving his tail left and right.

“What’s up, Louis?”, Ellise asks, and moves her gaze from her cat to the window.

At that exact moment, a slight breeze messes with her hair. She closes her eyes, enjoying the feeling of the wind caressing her skin, and opens them just in time to catch a piece of paper flying to her lap.

Ellise stares at it in confusion as Louis leans his body forwards to smell it with suspicion. She takes it in her fingers slowly, almost as if afraid, and opens it in the same manner.

_393 Jungang-daero, Daegu_

Ellise stares at the heaven-fell piece of paper with a perplex expression.

An address?

She inspects the back of it. Nothing.

_Could this mean…_

She looks back at the blank pieces of paper lying on her desk.

_A signal?_

Ellise feels her heart quickening its pace in excitement. She runs to the window and looks at her surroundings, trying to find some sort of confirmation. Nothing.

Not demotivated in the slightest, she sits at her desk again, her fingers buzzing with happy expectation, and decides not to think about it further. She begins to write.

_Dear stranger:_  
_Your address flew through my window as if carried by angels. I wonder if that what’s you expected when you left your piece of paper free to the wind._  
_I hope from the bottom of my heart that we get to meet each other further. As for now, I can tell you that I live happily with my parents, and that my favorite color is yellow._  
_Who are you, stranger from Daegu? What’s your life like? What’s your favorite color?_  
_You can write to me following the address at the back of the envelope._  
_Hope you have a wonderful day,_  
_Manoban Ellise_

The brunette stares at her letter with a soft, proud smile. She reads it one more time and leaves it aside. Then, she searches for the cutest envelope she can find.

She wants to leave a good first impression.


	11. Arc IV (2) - 1850

Jenilyn bows low to the owner of the mansion and rushes to gather her stuff and come back home. It is a busy day, even busier than usual, and the humidity in the air is not letting the shoe adhesives dry quickly enough, which means extra stressed parents. She keeps running fast, thinking about piles and piles of work, and the fact that she still has to clean the shared bedroom, and cook an acceptable dinner with the two ingredients that are left in the kitchen’s cupboard, and then go to sleep a few hours to wake up before the sun raises. She’s running so fast that she doesn’t notice the change in the level of the pavement. Her feet miss a beat, and before she knows it, she falls hard on her knees.

She whimpers, feeling herself surprisingly at the brink of tears, but tries to compose herself by breathing deeply.

She can do it. She can be strong. She just needs to think about her tasks, and that’s it.

She’s about to resume her running when a broken cry reaches her ears. 

Jenilyn looks around, curious. When she’s met with silence, she collects her things scattered on the floor, trying to ignore the pang on her knees.

However, another cry, this time weaker, makes her stop in her tracks. She looks at the trashcan just a meter ahead and moves closer, opening it with an analyzing expression. A soft, hopeless whimper confirms her suspicions. Jenilyn holds her breath as she tries to look for the source of the cries. When she touches a disgustingly wet trash bag, she feels slight movement beneath her fingers. The brunette scrunches her nose then, and takes it out.

Her expression transfixes from disgusted to sad. Inside the trash bag, there is a puppy no older than two months. He’s shaking in fear, and its mahogany fur is all dirty and tangled. Jenilyn does not need to inspect him further to realize that he’s severely underweight, and she suspects that under the copious amount of brown there are bruises that need to be taken care of.

The brunette stares at the dog with a concerned expression.

She cannot take him home. She cannot give him the life he deserves.

She puts the puppy on the floor, and the canine pushes his body against her feet, still trembling.

Jenilyn feels her heart breaking. The dog stares up at her, expectantly.

“I cannot take care of you”.

The puppy tilts his head to the side. Big, dark eyes keep looking at her.

“I really shouldn’t take you home. My parents are going to kill me”.

She takes the dog between her hands once again. She thinks for a moment.

“Promise me you will be a good boy”.

The canine sticks his tongue out, suddenly exited.

Jenilyn smiles.

-

She reaches home way later than expected. She knows that she will be scolded, but she guesses that sometimes it’s just worth it. 

The brunette enters the house through the open garden as sneakily as she can. She stares at the puppy she rescued with the sternest expression that she can muster, and puts him behind a set of brushes.

“You will stay here until they are all asleep. Then, I will give you food and something to sleep on. And probably a shower. Behave, alright?”

The dog attempts to bark, but he’s too weak to do so. Jenilyn’s heart clenches again.

She moves outside again to open the front door. Reaching the doorknob, something unusual catches her eyes.

A pink, visibly expensive envelope is lying on the doormat, clearly contrasting with the grey tones that surround it.

She picks it up with a confused expression adorning her features and goes inside her house, trying to be as quiet as possible.

“Where were you?” is the first thing she hears coming out of her father’s mouth. The shadows of his face look particularly accentuated, and his tone drips pure annoyance, “Do you think we have time to lazy around? Look at this mess!”

He motions to the copious amount of shoes and fixing tools messily scattered through the whole kitchen. The smell of glue hits Jenilyn strongly, and she needs a few seconds to recover enough to mumble an apology.

“I’m sorry. I fell-”

“And it took you half an hour to stand up?”, her mother interrupts, and then sighs to express her disappointment, “just help us here, Jenilyn, the day is already half lost”.

The brunette doesn’t say anything. She swallows thickly and looks at the envelope for a moment. She decides to put it aside. Then, she sits on the floor, ready for some extra working hours.

-

Many hours later, Jenilyn is in the kitchen as her parents sleep. She gathers a cup of water and a part of her dinner portion and goes back to the backyard. She’s surprised to find the puppy just where she left him, his weak body still trembling. He tries to bark at the sight of the human, but he fails. The brunette smiles in compassion and feeds him.

She stares at the dog eating with eagerness. She wonders for how long the puppy must have fought until she found him. She wonders what could’ve happened to him if she hadn’t.

Feeling her eyes prickling, Jenilyn rushes inside to find a piece of cloth thick enough to help the dog warm up and another one to clean his fur. In her search, she finds the mysterious envelope on the top of the kitchen counter. She brings it to the backyard as well.

The brunette sits again, letting the puppy climb to her lap. She cleans him absent-mindedly as she reads the letter with a sceptic expression.

Moving from word to word, her features grow more and more confused.

“What the hell?”, she murmurs when she finishes the letter, and it’s enough to wake the sleeping puppy up. He analyzes the piece of paper with interest, gifting it a sniff or two.

“Is this girl crazy?”, Jenilyn asks the dog, and he merely stares at her with a blank expression. The brunette pets him once again.

“Should I tell her to stop writing or just ignore it?”

The puppy barks, this time successfully.

“It would be too impolite to ignore her, I guess”, she looks at the letter again, and brings it to her nose.

“Someone is well-off”, she murmurs, and the dog loses interest again, climbing off the girl’s lap.

“I need to go to sleep, buddy”.

The dork barks again.

“I guess you can… stay here”.

She stares at his dark eyes and pets him besides the ears.

“You kind of look like a bear. I think I will call you Kuma”.

Kuma moves his tail with renewed happiness, and Jenilyn smiles one last time before going back to her house. There, she searches for the cleanest piece of paper she can find and begins to write.

_Dear Ellise,_  
_I certainly do not recall leaving any piece of private information go around freely, nor I think that my parents did. Your letter comes at an absolute surprise._  
_I’m sorry for the misunderstanding._  
_I hope you have a pleasant day,_

Jenilyn thinks for a moment.

_J_

That should be enough.

She reads the letter at least five times and then makes an envelope herself. When she finishes, she puts her work on top of the dinner table, ready to be delivered at first the first hour in the morning.

Jenilyn goes to sleep knowing that she will barely lay down for a few hours.

-

Ellise opens the plain white envelope with a smile in her face.

She’s in her room, only Louis staring at her with lack of interest.

The sun is starting to allow the rising of the night, so a golden light is illuminating her soft features.

When she reads the letter, her smile falls considerably.

But not completely.

She has always been praised, both by her parents and by her piano teacher, for being consistent, determined, hard to break. 

She huffs slightly, making her messy bangs get even messier, and grasps the most beautiful piece of paper she owns. With her eyes sparkling with excitement, she begins to write.

 _Dear J,_  
_I am sorry about the misunderstanding, too. If this is not the work of men, I cannot help but to think that it is the work of the destiny itself._  
_I write this letter in the late evening, with my cat trying to sneakily push to the floor one of the decorations in my room that he seems to hate the most. I’ll let him, but then I’ll scold him. Does that make me a bad owner?_  
_I wonder what you are doing as you read this._  
_I really hope we can keep communicating with each other._  
_Hope you have a great week,_  
_Ellise_

The brunette reads her letter once and decides that it’s decent. She puts it inside an envelope and goes to sleep wishing to hear about J soon.

-

Ellise does not hear about J soon.

She waits patiently for the next week, distracting herself with her photographs and her improvements in her piano lessons.

She hangs out with some of her neighbors, sometimes, and other times she’s happy with making Louis play with one of his teddy bears.

When a long week passes, Ellise revises the mail box with her chest buzzing. Her emotion dies down quickly as she finds absolutely nothing.

She tells herself that issues may have had place, that letters do not always arrive in time, so she waits significantly less patiently for the rest of the week. She checks on the mail box day after day, sometimes both at noon and during the afternoon, only to find her heart sinking deeper in her chest each time.

Ellise lies on her bed, feeling defeated. She really thought it was a signal. She really, really thought that she was at the brink of something fantastic, but now-

She sighs loudly and gets up hastily. Maybe her own destiny is less sweet than she thought.

She moves throughout the house dragging her feet on the floor. The usual warmth brought by the familiarity of her own home is now replaced by feeling of imprisonment. Her heart beats with the urge of something anew, of something powerful, able to make her whole being bloom.

Something she’s never felt at the comfort of her own house.

Ellise stands in front of the door connecting to the garden, but decides to go to the basement instead, considering that she has visited the room few times and that there might be something yet to discover there.

When she climbs down the stairs, she finds her maid washing her clothes.

Ellise smiles nevertheless. The woman is sweet enough to make the dull feeling lift up for a second.

“May I help you, Micha?”

The woman turns around startled, but her eyes soften at the sight of the brunette.

“You don’t need to, sweetie. You may ruin your hands”.

The girl puts her sleeves up to her forearms still with a smile.

“Please, allow me to. You seem to have a big load this time”.

They begin to work then, Ellise trying to derive her thoughts to more pleasant matters, but the maid realizes immediately that there is something off with the brunette’s silence.

“What’s wrong, sweetie?”

Ellise looks at the woman and then at the clothes she’s washing.

“Nothing, I just…” she thinks for a while, “has it ever happened to you that… you thought that something great was going to happen and that it was going to make you really happy and then it just…didn’t happen?”

The maid stares at the girl with complete puzzlement. She stifles a giggle at the expression of pure exasperation adorning the brunette’s soft features.

“Well, I don’t think I’ve ever gone through something quite like that”.

Ellise huffs under her breath.

“But I can tell you that extraordinary things do not often occur after the very first try”.

The brunette tilts her head with interest.

“You say?”

“Yes. Are you sure you are doing your very best to achieve your goal?”

Well, Ellise considers, technically not. She has sent one unanswered letter and that was it. And it’s not like the person she’s writing to ever told her to stop. Thy merely stopped sending letters back.

A faint light comes back to her eyes before she smiles with determination.

“You are right, Micha. I need to work harder!”

She kisses her maid softly on the cheek and continues assisting her in her duties. In her mind, she shapes the letter that she’ll write later.

-

Jenilyn sits with her legs crossed on the grown grass of her garden. Kuma is lying next to her, his small head on top of her lap. The moon is providing the night with a mysterious clarity, and she doesn’t feel like going to sleep quite yet.

Instead, the brunette is staring at a bunch of colorful envelopes with a torn expression.

“She has sent another one, Kuma”, she murmurs, considering that she should feel annoyed. Instead, she’s kind of impressed.

The dog opens his eyes only to fall into a comfortable nap once again.

“She has been sending one each week. I tried to ignore them at first, but she doesn’t seem willing to stop anytime soon”.

Jenilyn inspects the envelopes once again. They _do_ look pretty.

She sighs before deciding that there could be no possible harm done by just reading a few of them. She organizes the letters chronologically, from the first to the last sent. Then, she begins reading.

_Dear J:_  
_I had lots of fun today. I played all morning with my cat, who was feeling playful but not mischievous enough to bite me. After lunch, my piano teacher allowed me to play any piece I wanted. I chose to improvise a song by myself. It was really bad, but I had fun nonetheless. Finally, I went outside to take some pictures of the trees under the sunset. They look pretty, but I still have issues working with my camera._  
_I hope you are getting my letters and I hope I hear from you soon._  
_The best wishes,_  
_Ellise._

Jenilyn arches an eyebrow. The girl must be very, very well-off to have a whole camera for herself.

She opens the next letter.

_Dear J:_  
_This week has been not so good. For some reason, I discovered that I don’t like my toasts slightly burned anymore, but I don’t know how to tell my maid because she’s very sweet and I’m afraid of hurting her feelings. On Monday, I was eating ice-cream with my neighbors and one of them stained my favorite white dress with her chocolate cone. I had to throw it away (the dress). Finally, my piano teacher is trying to teach me a new, difficult song and I’m not able to hit any single note correctly. I feel like a failure._  
_I’m sorry if this letter is too negative. I really hope that your week is way better than mine._  
_Hope to hear from you soon (please?),_  
_Ellise_

The brunette finds herself smiling softly. There is something about the purity of the letters that makes her feel comforted.

She decides to open the last one.

_Dear J:_  
_This Saturday, I went to the lake with my parents. As I spent a lot of time under the sun, I got slightly sunburnt, so now my maid is applying crushed tomatoes on my skin. It smells terribly, but it works. I had a lot of fun, but I’m glad I’m back because I missed my cat Louis a lot._  
_I hope you are having a fantastic summer as well._  
_I spent a few nights thinking about the letters and I just want you to know that it’s okay if you ask me to stop writing to you. I don’t want to be a nuisance._  
_Sending you a big hug,_  
_Ellise_

The brunet sighs reading the last lines and turns to watch at her sleepy puppy. She pets him behind the ears, thinking.

The truth is that the girl seems unbelievable sweet, despite the not-so-kind words her parents utter about the upper class. Ellise appears to be simply bubbly, excited, ready to make a new friend.

Jenilyn finds herself smiling softly. The letters are cute. Some of them are even funny. On top of that, the girl has made the effort to write several times despite not receiving any answer. She kind of deservers some sort of retribution.

She sighs, feeling sleepy already. She puts her slender puppy on top of his improvised bed and goes to the kitchen to write.

 _Dear Ellise,_  
_I’m glad you had fun the first week. I’m sorry about your bad days and about the sunburn. I hope the good memories can outweigh the bad ones._  
_Today, I prepared dinner and cleaned the house. Then, I went to work and continued working once I came back._  
_It was a busy but quiet day._  
_At night, I played with my puppy. Now, I’m writing this letter._  
_I’m sorry for the delay. I’m willing to stay in contact._  
_Regards,_  
_Jenilyn_

The brunette re-reads her letter about five times before her body becomes too exhausted to stay up.

-

A week later, when Ellise finds a familiar white envelope with her name written on the top, she literally jumps in happiness and rushes to her bedroom to read her letter carefully.

Throughout the window, two angels stare at her, clearly satisfied.

“I can’t believe it worked!” Chaeyoung murmurs, a toothy smile lighting up her face.

Jisoo can’t help but to smile smugly in return.

“Of course it worked, it was a master plan”.

The blonde giggles and hits her on the arm softly.

Jisoo looks at the brunette inside of the house, grinning as she reads her letter.

“Now we have to make sure they actually meet face-to-face”.

Chaeyoung hums and nods, serious again.

Jisoo glances at her profile and adverts her eyes. She tries to sop the warmth of her chest by thinking about their next step.

-

Words keep flowing back and forth non-stop.

Ellise waits for her letters with a smile plastered on her face every Tuesday morning just besides her mailbox.

Jenilyn is too busy to wait for hers, but every Wednesday afternoon becomes a bit lighter thanks just to the idea of hearing about Ellise again.

The Seoul girl tells her friend about her days, about her parents, about her dreams. She tells her that she loves hanging out with her neighbors as long as the boys are not included, that her favorite dessert is the lemon pie that her maid makes, and that she’s quite - _not totally!_ \- afraid of the dark.

In response, the Daegu girl decides to share bits of her life. She tells her friend that she works both with her parents and on her own, which leads to Ellise being curious about her age and Jenilyn having to clarify that she is indeed only eighteen years old. Her friend keeps asking her things, then, her favorite color, her hobbies, her biggest dreams, _everything_ , as if trying to put all the pieces of a puzzle together. Jenilyn answers it all first with cautious sentences, and then, once that Ellise has shown again and again to be worth of trust, with long, heartfelt paragraphs often secretly stained with her own tears.

They laugh, too, twin smiles adorning their faces as they read each other’s jokes, feeling the distance dividing their time and their bodies become suddenly shorter, unimportant. Ellise often tells Jenilyn about the diverse adventures she would drag her into if they just lived a bit closer. The Daegu girl grins softly at the words, feeling her heat twirling content around the chest, but she never answers. Ellise is a dreamer, a sweet, innocent, positive girl. Jenilyn has seen the greys of the world since the moment she was born. She never dreams too high.

At some point, in their sharing, after Jenilyn confessed that she has never tried Ellise’s favorite candies, the girl decides to send her some. They arrive quite melted, but Jenilyn makes the effort to try one nevertheless. The candies are slightly too sweet for her taste, but she thanks her friend profusely just for the gesture. Feeling like doing a bit extra, the Daegu girl sends her friend two of the many wildflowers that grow steadily in her garden. She gets an extra excited response, in which her Ellise claims that she’s the best girl ever and that she put the flowers on her desk, but she wishes she could put them next to her heart. 

-

One day, in a streak of sincerity, Jenilyn confesses to Ellise that she would like to know what she looks like. She knows what she’s been told, that the girl is slightly taller than her, brunette, brown eyes, messy bangs, and a too big too toothy smile -in Ellise’s own words. She tells her so like a faint wish, a thought that she ponders on sometimes - _sometimes_!- at night, but without really expecting anything in return.

Ellise, however, is struck with the light of an idea as she reads the letter. She smiles quite nervously, takes her newest camera out of its bag, and runs to ask her mother to take her some pictures. Ellise’s mom merely looks at her for a moment, and then complies with a grin. The girl poses feeling a bit awkward, but her mother showers her with endless compliments.

Sometime later, once the pictures are ready, Ellise puts them inside her folded letter feeling fuzzy. Trying not to think about it anymore, she sends the golden envelope she spent half an hour choosing and hopes that her friend doesn’t feel disappointed.

When Jenilyn opens the envelope many days later, disappointment is the least of her feelings. She leaves the letter aside as she contemplates Ellise’s pictures with her mouth agape. She’s absolutely beautiful. Gorgeous. Probably the prettiest girl Jenilyn has ever seen in her life. Her doe eyes, her small nose, her soft cheeks, everything seems unreal. She feels her heartbeat running quicker, somehow, and the pad of her fingers move on their own, running through the soft features of her friend’s face. She stops once she realizes what she’s doing, feeling a bit shameful, and she takes her gaze away from the pictures to see her puppy looking at her with a curious expression.

“She’s just… pretty. That’s all”, she makes a pause, staring at the pictures again, “really pretty”.

She clears her throat and puts the pictures aside, making an effort to read the letter. Half throughout it, she puts it down with her eyes wide.

“Do you think this means that I have to send a picture too?”

Kuma blinks twice and barks lowly.

“I mean I don’t look half as good as she does. She will be terrified!”

The dog barks again, this time looking at his owner more steadily.

“Yeah, I know that she made the effort, but still”.

The brunette pouts slightly, and Kuma uses his head to caress her thigh.

“Fine I’ll do it… but I don’t think I’ll like it”.

Jenilyn pets his dog behind the ears, finishing her friend’s letter and trying to find a way to fit asking for a photographer to take her pictures in her busy day.

-

The Daegu girl manages, eventually, and after a few days, she already has some pictures of herself in her hands. She stares at them critically, feeling apprehensive as she stares at her own face. She thinks about Ellise once again, trying to convince herself that the girl would not stop sending her letters just because she’s not beautiful. She puts the pictures in her white envelope, hoping that her friend doesn’t feel too disgusted.

Ellise is very far from experiencing disgust as she opens her friend’s letter. She lets out a high squeal as she looks at the pictures, feeling her breath leaving her lungs out of the sudden. Her pupils are still big as she stares at her friend because _oh my god she’s stunning oh my god look at those cat eyes oh my good look at her soft jaw oh my good look at those pink lips she’s perfect!_

She whines once again, waking her cat up from her nap, and she rushes to show him the pictures.

“Look! She’s Jenilyn! Isn’t she the prettiest girl ever? I can’t believe she looks like _this_!”

She stares at the pictures for a few more moments before letting out a dreamy sigh.

“It’s like… familiar somehow. I know I haven’t seen her before, but...”

That little _something_ that has been growing in her chest since the moment Jenilyn answered to the first letter is blooming steadily.

She reads the letter with shaky hands, and when Jenilyn praises her beauty in five detailed lines, Ellise squeaks again, this time against her fluffy pillow.

“She thinks that I’m pretty! And she looks like that! Can you imagine?”, she speaks to a sleepy Louis, “What I am supposed to tell her? That she’s gorgeous? That I wasn’t ready to see such a stunning face? Isn’t that too much?”

The cat meows with disinterest, yearning to find enough silence to sleep again.

“You are right, I should be sincere”, she nods with determination.

With that, she begins to write her letter, her stomach fuzzy in a way it has never been before.

-

“Aw, isn’t that cute? They are slowly falling in love!” Chaeyoung exclaims softly.

Jisoo huffs, lying on the grass.

“ _Too_ slowly”.

The blonde pouts, and she sits beside her fellow angel.

“But love is supposed to be like that, right?”

The brunette smells Chaeyoung’s scent and she squirms.

“I just want this to be over”.

“We can’t force them to meet, though”.

Jisoo sighs.

The blonde puts her hand on top of her teammate’s, and the angel makes an effort not to stand up and run away as quickly as possible.

“We are doing a good job”.

The brunette swallows, feeling her breath quickening.

“Yeah…cool. Whatever”.

Chaeyoung smiles, content.

-

One day, the owner of mansion that Jenilyn works at lets her go home earlier because she needs some time alone after finding out that her best friend called her the b word behind her back.

The brunette doesn’t feel like complaining, really, and she is very cautious in stifling a laugh when her the lady tells her the story.

So Jenilyn walks calmly then, enjoying the beauty of the afternoon for the first time in years. Reaching home, however, something catches her attention.

A girl no older than seven is leaning to the floor, letting the hem of her visibly expensive dress stain with the grass as she pets Kuma between his shoulder blades. A meter away, a woman that the brunette guesses is the mother of the girl observes the whole scene with a smile.

Jenilyn gets closer cautiously, and the girl sees her before her mums does.

“Hello, miss! Are you Teddy’s mother?”

The brunette raises her eyebrows, but smiles nevertheless at the high-pitched tone used by the girl. The mother apologizes quickly.

“Ah, I’m so sorry, miss, I suppose you are the owner of the puppy”.

The brunette looks at Kuma for a second.

“Yes, I take care of him”.

The woman nods, but her eyes reflect an unsaid thought. Jenilyn understands. She looks at the dog happily trying to catch his little human friend running around him. He looks too skinny, given to his limited diet, and his fur is a bit dirty, given to the fact that the brunette has little time to brush it properly. He doesn’t look his best, or at least not as good as he could look, and Jenilyn feels a tug at her heart.

“I’m sorry miss”, the woman speaks again, “my daughter, Sooyoung, saw him once when we were strolling around and has asked to come to see him every day since. They play, and she brings him some treats”.

The brunette nods, feeling her chest full of sudden sorrow.

She cannot give him what they can.

“She doesn’t have a dog?”

The woman sighs.

“She wasn’t interested in them until she saw this one. I offered to get one for her, but…”

They both look as the girl lays on the floor to pet Kuma some more.

“She fell in love with him”.

The woman smiles sadly.

“Yes”.

Jenilyn swallows, feeling her eyes prickling.

“Well… I’ve been looking for someone who wishes to adopt him, actually”.

The girl snaps her head towards the brunette, her eyes widening in hope.

“Really?”, she asks.

“Really?”, she woman repeats, equally stunned.

The brunette’s throat tightens.

“Yes! I’ve been trying to take care of him, but my parents don’t like dogs so… I can’t”.

The woman’s eyes soften. She smiles.

“Mom, can I have him? Please, please. I will take good care of him. I promise”.

The mother looks at Jenilyn with an expectant expression.

“Are you sure?” she asks.

The brunette stares at her dog as he wiggles his tail excitedly.

“Yes”, she says, “I’m sure”.

The little girl hugs her with her tiny arms, portraying the biggest smile that she has seen in her life, promising that she will love the dog with all her heart. 

Jenilyn tries to smile as she pets Kuma for the last time, his dark eyes looking at her as if he could see that something was off.

“I hope you have a great life, buddy”, she murmurs.

Before leaving, the woman puts a hand on Jenilyn’s shoulder.

“You are a good person, darling”.

The brunette tries to smile again. She fails.

Jenilyn spends the next half an hour crying in the backyard of her house, trying to put away the objects that belonged to her dog. She immediately misses the sniffles, the soft barks, even the licks on her hands. She tries to convince herself that she’s not useless, that she’s not the worst owner ever, that her situation will change one day, and she will be able to love as much as she’d like.

She can’t.

The brunette goes inside her home to work on the many pairs of shoes scattered in the room. Her parents either don’t notice her red eyes or do not care enough to ask. She keeps on working as she usually would, diligently, as if there wasn’t an aching hole tearing her heart apart.

At night, she uses her words to rely on the only person she can: Ellise.

-

The brunette reads the letter Jenilyn sent her with teary eyes. When she finishes it, she puts it aside, trying to collect her thoughts. In the midst, she begins to cry fully. The thought of her friend being heartbroken makes her feel shattered as well. She wants nothing but happiness for Jenilyn, nothing but smiles, fluffy clouds, a warm sunset.

Ellise stops crying but keeps pouting. Her cat meows, curious.

“She deserves so much better, Louis”, the brunette whispers.

The feline tilts his head to the side, but doesn’t produce any further sound.

“I know there is no much I can do here, but…”, she considers for a moment, “maybe there is something I could send her to cheer her up even slightly”.

Ellise ponders on it. Her mind drifts to every letter, every word, all the experiences her friend told her she never had the chance to try. And then, Ellise remembers. Jenilyn told her she’s never tried milk chocolates, which seemed like a complete abomination for the tallest brunette. Milk chocolates are a piece of heaven in Earth, and there is nobody who deserves something like that as much as Jenilyn.

The girl runs out of her room with her eyebrows furrowed, her heart still heavy due to her friend’s misfortune, and begs her mother to buy her the best milk chocolates box she can find. 

Hours later, with the treasure already wrapped up prettily, Ellise writes her letter.

_My dearest Jen:_  
_Reading your words full of sorrow makes my heart ache. What you’ve done is a clear reflection of the pureness of your soul. You are sweet, and kind, and loving, and I’m so, so sorry that you have to go through such hard times. I’m sure Kuma is very grateful to have had an owner like you._  
_I wish now more and ever that I could wrap you up in a warm hug. I miss you as if we had met already, isn’t that weird?_  
_I hope time can heal this wound. As for now, I send you a box of milk chocolate. I hope the sweet taste can wear off a bit of the sorrow._  
_Feeling deeply for you,_  
_Ellise_

The brunette sits on her bed and re-reads her letter, wondering if there’s more she could do.  
-

Jenilyn receives the letter and the chocolates a few days later.

Her heart is still in pieces against her chest, but she feels her heartbeat picking up at the sight of the well-known envelope nevertheless.

At night, trying ignore an overwhelming feeling of loneliness, Jenilyn opens the package and starts to read the letter. She holds her tears until she puts a chocolate inside her mouth. Swallowing, she starts to sob lowly.

She’s crying because she’s sad, because she misses Kuma, because she feels alone. But her tears are mixed with happiness too, because she finally has someone there for her, someone that cares, someone that makes her chest feel warm and her cheeks heat up.

Jenilyn hugs the letter against her chest, a familiar scent reaching her nose.

She lets herself feel everything all over, all the pain, all the fondness.

And she realizes then that there is no point in denying it anymore.

She’s falling in love.

The brunette cries harder.

She’s falling in love with a girl who lives kilometers away.

It’s hopeless.

And yet, it’s beautiful.

Jenilyn stops sobbing eventually. She lets her gaze fix on the stars again, wondering faintly if Kuma is happy, if Ellise is sleeping tenderly. She feels her eyes getting heavier with the weight of many working hours and yawns. 

Finally, she forces her body to stand up and move to the kitchen to write another letter.

Jenilyn wants to hold back, but her heart is pounding too hard to do so. 

Instead, she lets the words pour freely.

_Sweet Ellise,_  
_Hearing from you is always a caress to my heart. I still feel sad, true, as I thought that lovely Kuma was all that I had in the world. Your honey words reminded me that you are by my side as well, somehow._  
_The chocolates were delicious. I don’t know how to express my gratitude for such generous gesture._  
_If there is someone who can be called pure, dear Lis, that’s you. You are like morning sunlight warming up the vestiges of a cold night._  
_What you said about missing each other is not weird. If it is, then we are both crazy, because I feel it too, deep in my heart._  
_I’ll try to send you the most beautiful flowers of my garden, just so I can repay a tiny part of everything you have given to me so far._  
_I’m aching to hear your next words. Maybe you can send me some pictures of the renowned Louis as well (if you’d like)._  
_Felling for you just as much (or maybe more),_  
_Jen_

It’s too much, Jenilyn thinks, as she reads her letter for the fifth time.

But it’s sincere.

Her mind becomes dizzy, and the brunette knows that she can’t ponder on it anymore.

-

When Ellise reads her letter, she needs to make some pauses to squeal against her pillow. She smiles big, dreamily, and she rolls over again and again, trying to control the fuzzy feeling in all her body.

She reads Jenilyn’s words again and again, and each one engraves softly in her heart, making her feel elated.

Some months ago, she asked her parents how she is supposed to _know_.

Now, she understands the answer.

_When it happens, you know._

Ellise knows that what she feels for Jenilyn is pure love.


	12. Arc IV (3) - 1850

The letters keep coming and going, but there is an extra, unspoken feeling tinting their words.

They still tell each other about their days, about their favorites, about their dreams and fears. But now, new paragraphs dedicated to praises and soft words are included as well.

Ellise confesses that she thinks that Jenilyn is the most beautiful girl ever. The shortest brunette, in exchange, claims that it’s not possible, that the tallest girl has already claimed that title, that her features are simply ethereal and that she can’t believe that she exists somewhere.

The Seoul girl becomes braver then. She sends more pictures, more gifts. She tells Jenilyn that she can’ stop staring at her cat-eyes, at her pinkish mouth, at her soft cheeks, and the shortest brunette spends the whole reading of the letters giggling in delight. 

She answers likewise, saving money to take a few more pictures, and gathers courage to compliment Ellise’s expressive eyes, her strong jaw, her puckered lips. When reading her friend’s words, the tallest girl finds herself biting her lower lip, trying to hold in a smile.

Their feelings, still unsaid, become apparent in the weight of the ink traces. Both girls feel it all going tenser, higher, at the brink of something both terrifying and absolutely wonderful.

-

One day, after almost a year of the thread of letters, Ellise turns eighteen. Jenilyn writes her a long letter sending her good wishes, the sweetest words, and a beautiful silver ring that the tallest brunette knows it must have costed days and days of work.

She cries through the words and keeps crying as she puts her gift on proudly. She feels a need at the bottom of her heart palpitating harden than ever, and decides that she can’t wait another year. She can’t wait another minute, actually.

She runs to the kitchen to tell her parents _everything_. 

She comes back to her bedroom sporting a wide, toothy smile. Caressing her ring with her thumb, Ellise begins to write.

_My Jen:_  
_Thank you for the lovely words and for the most beautiful present ever. I’m wearing it already. It fits perfectly. I should be mad at you for making me tear up at the loveliness of your gesture, but I don’t think I could ever be mad at you._  
_I’m excited to tell you the most fantastic news! I told my parent about you and the possibility of traveling to finally meet face-to-face. They were not happy with the idea of me taking a train to Daegu, but they agreed on letting me go to Eumseong, which is right in the middle of our cities! Maybe, if you wish, we could organize to meet there. I hope you don’t feel pressured by my proposal, I know how troubling the sudden trip could be to you._  
_Please, let me know what you think about this idea on the next letter._  
_Always thinking about you, lately,_  
_Your Lis_

Ellise puts her letter inside the envelope, still smiling.

She can only hope.

-

Jenilyn reads her letter with a vibrating feeling making her heart jump.

She thinks about the possibilities, about the obstacles.

She knows she would have to work hard for at least a month before being able to afford the tickets. She knows that her parents would be pissed at her for missing a few days of work.

Reading the letter again, embedded by Ellise’s scent, Jenilyn decides that it is worth it.

She writes a letter to the tallest girl agreeing on the meeting and asking for further details.

-

“Finally, oh my god!” Jisoo shouts. She lets her head hang low in relief.

Chaeyoung giggles at her side.

“It’s been a fucking human year. I don’t even know how I didn’t lose my mind”.

The blonde shrugs, playing with a little plastic Eiffel tower in her hand.

“You should’ve come to Paris with me, it was fun”.

Jisoo grunts, running her hands over her face.

“Someone had to keep working here”.

Her fellow angel hums, and looks at the sky to find shapes in the clouds.

“It’s not like something happened when I was gone”.

Jisoo grunts again. The girl is right.

“Well, that lady who owns the mansion passed away”.

“Miss Young?” Chaeyoung asks with her voice tinted with pain. The brunette stares at her with a skeptical expression, “She was misunderstood, but not bad person”, she explains.

Jisoo doesn’t say anything, but flinches at the sound of children playing close to them.

“At least that damn void was silent”.

The blonde pouts.

“Not happy vacations?”

Jisoo stares at her with a stern expression.

“These are not vacations!”

Then, she turns around to see Ellise squealing in delight once again.

At least it’s almost over.

-

Jenilyn purses her lips as she tries to force her aching hands to fix yet another pair of shoes. Her legs tremble slightly as well, but she doesn’t know if it is due to her new part-time job of newspaper selling or the scent of the glue that is too strong for her lungs.

It’s been a hellish month, between her jobs and the lack of food, and the only thing that has kept her going steadily was the thread of letters courtesy of Ellise.

 _It’s worth it_ , she thinks as she waxes a piece of leather, _she’s worth it_.

The brunette’s hard work hasn’t been in vain. She has saved coin by coin, hiding them in the most secret place of her garden, and she has put away enough money to buy the ticket that will allow her to see her favorite person face-to-face for the first time.

Jenilyn looks at her parents, at their sad eyes, at the unhealthy curve on their backs, and she decides that she doesn’t have to follow the same path.

“I’m going away for a day of two”, she says then.

Her parents look at her with a puzzled expression.

“Where?” her father grumbles.

Jenilyn doesn’t flinch.

“Eumseong”.

He narrows his eyes.

“What’s going to happen with the shoes?”

The brunette shrugs.

“You’ll deal with it”.

The couple starts to work again, automatically, as if they didn’t know anything else.

“Ungrateful. You don’t give a shit about what happens to us”.

Jenilyn stops working.

“You have given me nothing”.

Her mother scoffs.

“We gave you a shelter”.

The brunette smiles sadly.

“I’ve been paying for this shelter since the day I was born”.

Her parents don’t tell her anything else. Jenilyn doesn’t mind, really. She has accepted it. Some people don’t want to love. Her parents have never loved each other, and they have never loved her daughter, neither. Their hearts have been too full of wax, glue, and resentment to let anything else fit in.

Jenilyn pities them. Even if she ends up like them, working her whole life for a few dirty coins, she knows that she has achieved something amazing. She has allowed herself to love.

-

The next day, in the morning, Jenilyn walks to the train station with a content tug on her lips. Ellise has already bought the tickets, so she only needs to buy hers and wait for a few more tortuous days to finally wrap her up in a hug.

She’s unaware of the ethereal presences following her from behind.

“Oh my god, Jisoo, it’s happening! It’s happening!”

The Dominion nods, having to take wide steps.

“Finally”, she says simply.

Chaeyoung smiles widely.

The whole conversation is unheard by Jenilyn, who needs a few moments already inside the station to find out in which counter she’s supposed to buy her ticket. Once she found it, she reaches it anxiously.

The meticulous woman behind it smiles at her kindly, and the brunette greets her with a bow.

“A ticket to Eumseong, please?”

The light in the woman’s eyes die a little.

“Oh, I’m sorry, honey, they are all sold out”.

Jenilyn is not able to hide her utter disappointment. The lady looks at her with pitiful eyes.

“When will they be available again?”

“Next month”.

“Next month?”, the brunette asks, letting her feelings filter in her voice.

The woman smiles sadly.

“I’m sorry, dear. It’s a crowded train”.

Jenilyn nods, understanding. Despite the unsettling feeling in her chest, she thanks the woman politely. She lets her feet drag her to the nearest bench as she tries to figure out how to deliver the bad news to Ellise before she takes her own train. She wonders if she should buy a ticket for next month or wait until the tallest girl tells her that she’s available at that date.

The brunette pouts, and feels her eyes full of tears.

-

A few meters away, Chaeyoung stomps a foot to the ground.

“We were so close!”

Jisoo is left dumbfounded for a moment before she denies with her head frantically.

“No. This is too much. I won’t stand for it. This is when we make our move”.

The blonde looks at her with a confused expression.

“But there are no more tickets available”.

Jisoo gets closer to the counter.

“Until now”.

Chaeyoung runs behind her with her features dripping concern.

“Wait Jisoo, we can’t! Changes that affect the rest of the world are not allowed”.

Jisoo pivots in her feet, her face heating up in exasperation.

“What do you want me to do, Chaeyoung? To wait in this damned planet until these idiots decide they had enough of twirling around each other and they finaly meet? I’m sick of this! I’m sick of waiting, sick of this irrelevant task, and I’m getting sick of you as well, so I won’t stand back anymore”.

She turns around immediately after her words, both because she’s angry, but also because she doesn’t want to see the blonde’s expression.

Her soul tells her that she went too far. Chaeyoung’s silence confirms it.

She concentrates on her mission.

When the woman at the counter lifts a ticket to her eyes with a confused expression and runs towards a still broody Jenilyn, Jisoo turns around to look at Chaeyoung.

The blonde is staring at the trains, blinking quickly to hide her tears.

Jisoo feels her own lip trembling. Maybe what they say about her it’s true. Maybe she’s not supposed to be an angel at all.

-

Jenilyn finds herself sitting on a not-so-hygienic seat of a train to Eumseong. She sports a small smile as she holds the bouquet of wild flowers she prepared for Ellise close to her chest. Her heat palpitates quickly with expectation. She will meet her. She will finally meet her. It is as if all planets had aligned themselves to allow her to have this sweet, anxious moment. She tries to sop her left feet from hitting rhythmically against the floor. She guesses that the many passengers around her could be annoyed by the noise. When she looks up, though, she realizes that nobody is paying her attention. They are all immersed in their own worlds. The thought makes Jenilyn smile again.

-

Ellise reclines herself against the seat of her train to Eumseong. She looks at the puppy plushie that she bought for Jenilyn once again, worrying over whether the girl will find it cute or too immature. She sighs, and tries to distract herself by looking at the landscape throughout the mirror. She will finally meet her. The girl that makes her chest swirl with happiness with only a few words. The most beautiful girl that she has ever seen. 

A slight turbulence makes her snap out of her thoughts. When the train keeps moving, unbothered, she lets her mind drift to cat-like eyes again. There’s only a few stops left. 

-

Jenilyn steps out her the train with her heart hammering against her chest. It’s time. If she’s not wrong, Ellise has arrived to the station an hour ago already, and she doesn’t want to keep her waiting.

She moves around the sea of people, tying hard to spot the face she’s spent hours looking at.

And then, she sees her. Ellise is a few meters away, her eyes moving from face to face, probably trying to find Jenilyn among the crowd.

Their gazes meet.

There is a still moment in which the girls look at each other with utter shock, in which all the bodies around them seem to disappear only to leave them both gravitating in their own beautiful, tiny world.

Ellise reacts first, smiling the biggest she can, initiating a race towards the shortest brunette without even realizing.

“Jen!”, she shouts happily, and the Daegu girl smiles at well, opening her arms for Ellise to fall securely between them.

They hug for a long time, their bodies flushed against each other, meeting each other at last, as they let an overwhelming feeling of happiness crash against them in waves.

When they finally pull away, there are tears falling from Ellise’s eyes. Jenilyn catches them with her thumbs.

“Hello, Lis”, she murmurs, only because she wants to say her name out loud.

“Hi”, the tallest girl answers, and looks at the brunette with amazement, “you look… you are very pretty. Wow. Like, even prettier than in the pictures”.

Jenilyn chuckles as a deep blush coats her cheeks.

“You are beautiful”, she answers simply, and Ellise gifts her a shy smile.

They keep staring at each other until Jenilyn remembers. She pulls away to gather the bouquet of flowers that she made herself out of her bag.

“Oh, I almost forget. These are for you”, she hands Ellise her flowers, and the tallest girl takes them with dreamy eyes, “I know it’s all I give to you but-”

Ellise silences her by kissing her left cheek tenderly.

“I love them”, she murmurs against the shortest girl’s ear.

Jenilyn shivers in delight, and watches as Ellise becomes suddenly shy.

“What is it?” she asks with a smile.

The tallest girl pulls the plushie out of her bag and hands it to Jenilyn.

“I bought you this, but I’m not sure if you will like it”.

The shortest brunette inspects the plushie with a soft smile. It has the shape of a dog, and its fur is mahogany, just like Kuma’s. She guesses that Ellise must have made the effort to search for a toy that looked similar to him.

Jenilyn feels herself tearing up, and hugs the plushie close to her chest.

“I love it”, she declares, and then grasps Ellise’s hand in her own, “thank you”.

The girl smiles proudly, feeling accomplished.

A beat of moment follows, and Ellise tilts her head with never-ending excitement.

“Want to go for a coffee? My treat”.

Jenilyn looks at her with hesitation.

“Please! I want you to try lemon cakes! Please, please?”

She tries for the puppy eyes that have always worked with her parents.

They work for the shortest girl as well.

“Alright”, she answers.

Ellise’s smile makes Jenilyn’s heart bloom.

-

They talk for hours. They tell each other everything they knew once again, and it all feels like the first time. They go further. They say all the things they couldn’t put into written words. They tease each other lightly. They laugh at each other jokes. Jenilyn decides that she has never tasted anything as delicious as lemon cakes, and Ellise laughs loudly and tells her that she knew that the shortest girl will like them. They drink an exaggerated amount of coffee between pauses, but they cannot bring themselves to care. It’s their happy moment, and they live it at its fullest.

When the evening starts to approach, the café is left almost empty. Only the two girls remain inside, even after Ellise had paid for their food, yearning to stretch the moment as much as possible.

Jenilyn giggles at the shortest girl telling the story of how she found her cat in very demanding business with the female cat of the neighbor, and then looks at her own hands half-teasingly and half-disgusted.

“My hands feel sticky. Lemon cakes are delicious, but quite… messy”.

The tallest girl smiles big and nods.

“They are. There is always a great price for great pleasures”.

Jenilyn giggles again, shaking her head at the tallest girl’s antics. She stands up, and Ellise follows her eagerly.

“I’m going to wash my hands”, the shortest girl tells her teasingly.

“Well, me too. You are not the only messy one, miss”.

With a shared laugh, they both bow at the only waitress attending the café, open a door and go through the long, narrow hall that leads to the bathroom. 

Jenilyn lets Ellise go first, gesturing politely and so cutely that it makes the tallest girl think that she might keep smiling forever. In the midst, the shortest girl takes in her surroundings curiously. The hall is fairly clean, but one yellowish light illuminates the room. It creates an almost dreamy atmosphere that leads the shortest brunette to remind herself to observe the way in which the shadows play with Ellise’s features.

The tallest girl goes out the room with a triumphant smile, and Jenilyn follows quickly after. She washes her hands carefully, looks at herself at the mirror for some moments, and takes a happy breath before opening the door. 

When she goes out, she finds the tallest girl standing closer than she thought, her features relaxed in a content smile. Jenilyn finds herself smiling too, and remains just inches away, as if bewitched. Ellise stares at her intently. She uses the pad of her fingers to trace the curve of the shortest girl’s jaw without even thinking about it.

Jenilyn shivers, and feels her mouth opening as she takes in the lack of distance between their bodies. She feels her muscles buzzing, begging her to give in her deepest want.

Ellise parts her lips too, and leans forwards without thinking, needy for contact, pressing the shortest girl against the brick wall. Jenilyn feels a burning wrapping her up from the pit of her stomach, and her arms move naturally to embrace Ellise’s neck. 

With that, the tallest girl falls in completely. She tilts her head to her side and kisses the shortest girl with uncontained warmth, just in the mouth. 

Jenilyn lets out a breathy sound as she presses Ellise impossible closer. Their lips slide together, consuming, and both girls try to give and take all they can. The shortest girl licks first, and lets her fingers dive into deep chocolate. Ellise can only gasp and let herself fall over and over again, her blunt nails digging into a small waist to keep them both steady.

Just when the tallest girl parts her lover’s legs with her own, and she feels a warm thigh wrapping around her waist, the sound of glass scattering on the floor makes them pull away frantically. They both look at the side, terrified, but feel immediately relieved at the sight of the still empty hall.

Jenilyn lets her head rest on the wall, panting, and Ellise takes advantage of the moment to admire every single one of her features.

“Was it… okay?” she asks suddenly.

The shortest girl looks at her with surprise before smiling teasingly. 

“It was more than okay. I find it funny that you are acting so shy now, considering that you were pressing me hard against the wall just seconds ago”.

Ellise blushes profusely, hiding her face in her lover’s neck.

“It was the heat of the moment”.

Jenilyn runs her finger through her locks.

“A very hot moment indeed”, she murmurs with a low voice.

Ellise looks at her again, this time with her eyes darker than usual.

“We can’t…here”.

Jenilyn sighs and nods.

“I know”.

The tallest girl hugs her tight, and Jenilyn lets her.

“Come home with me”.

The shortest brunette furrows her eyebrows.

“Sorry?”

Ellise pulls away to look at her lover in the eyes, her expression sincere, open.

“Come home with me, please, just a few days. My parents won’t mind; I promise”.

Jenilyn opens her mouth and Ellise can read every single one of her thoughts.

“It doesn’t matter. You don’t have to give me anything. I just want you close. I’m not ready to let you go yet, now that I’ve got you. It’s been so long”, she blinks, trying to keep her tears at bay, “It just feels so _right_ now that we are together”.

The shortest girl catches her lover’s tears, feeling a lump growing in her throat herself. She has nothing to offer. Nothing but herself.

And If Ellise thinks that it is enough…

“Alright”, she answers simply.

The tallest girl looks at her with wide eyes and a hopeful smile.

“Really?”

“Yes, if you think-”

She’s interrupter by Ellise’s lips crashing against hers once again, and she surrenders into the kiss joyful. After a while, the tallest girl pulls away, giggling.

“We will lose our train, beautiful”.

Jenilyn tiptoes to steal another peck.

“For the road”, she says, and walks through the hall, Ellise following her with a dopey expression.

-

Once in the train, both girls are sitting beside each other in comfortable silence, their gazes set on the beautiful landscape provided by the cliff only a few meters away the tracks of the train.

Jenilyn looks around her, surprised at the fact that the wagon is completely empty except for herself and her lover.

“Not many people like travelling in the evening”, Ellise explains.

“And not many people can afford this wagon neither, right?”, she asks with an eyebrow arched.

The tallest girl smiles sheepishly.  
Then, suddenly, her expression grows softer, deeper, as she stares at Jenilyn right in the eyes.  
“I’m so glad I met you”, she whispers.

The shortest girl stares at her lover right back, pure happiness running through her body.

“I’m so glad I met you too”.

A moment of silence follows. Then, Ellise speaks with a mellow voice.

“I thought that I was never going to feel for anybody what I feel for you. I was terrified. I felt… broken”, she confesses.

Jenilyn lets her thumb caress her lover’s jaw.

The train moves faster.

“I was broken too. You help me to put myself together again”, the shortest girl murmurs.

Ellise smiles.

“I’m going to show you everything. My cat, my camera, my parents. I’m going to give you everything I can”, she tells her, her pupils burning.

Jenilyn feels waves of air leaving her lungs.

They can’t think about the sudden noise.

“I only want you. I want you forever”, the shortest girl says.

Ellise pulls her in for a blazing kiss.

“I only want you, too. That’s all I need”.

Another noise.

“I love you, Jen”.

“I love you Lis, with everything-”

-

Chaeyoung and Jisoo are suspended in the air, staring at the train making its way to Seoul.

The blonde has her arms crossed on her chest, and a stern expression that Jisoo is desperate to erase forever.

They are in silence, watching everything.

“It worked”, Chaeyoung murmurs then, and Jisoo can’t even think about the fact that she hasn’t gotten her halo nor her wings back.

She turns around to look at her fellow angel.

“Look, Chae, I’m so-”

Suddenly, the blonde’s expression changes completely. She stares forwards with her eyes dripping concern.

“Something is wrong”, she says, almost breathlessly, and Jisoo turns around again with a frown, her gaze focused on the train.

Then, it happens. The shaky rails give in under the pressure of the robust machine. The train loses its tracks and begins to fall from the rail, producing the most terrifying noise Jisoo has heard in all eternity.

It hits against the floor and against the trees recklessly, metal and glass breaking against each other as they break against the rocky terrain. Then, the whole thing begins to fall by the side, reaching the cliff, into absolutely nothing.

Jisoo and Chaeyoung stare at the whole scene with frantic eyes. The brunette reacts first.

“No!”, she exclaims, and tries with all her energy to pull the damn thing back in the rails, to make everything alright again.

Chaeyoung snaps out of her stupor and tries as well, the rules becoming blurry in her head. Nothing.

Jisoo’s back starts to burn, and she knows that she has lost her chance.

She moves downwards desperately, reaching the end of the cliff, knowing that she’s doomed but hoping, wishing that the humans are somehow okay.

Chaeyoung follows her with tears in her eyes. 

When their feet touch land, a bunch of people are already analyzing the train with somber expressions.

“There are no survivors”, one of them murmurs.

The burning in Jisoo’s back becomes unbearable. 

She looks at Chaeyoung, at her terrified, broken expression, and feels her chest crushing as well.

“This is all _my_ fault”, Jisoo shouts, “She has nothing to do with this. She tried to stop me”, she feels her body vanishing painfully, “Please, don’t hurt her”.

Jisoo sees black.

-

When she wakes up, Nemamiah keeps seeing black.

She puts her head on top of her knees and cries.


	13. Arc V (1) - 1909

Jenine wakes up startled due the loud knocking on her bedroom’s door. She sits up in bed as her mother yells in a rush that her breakfast is ready and that she’s leaving for work.

With her heart still beating hard against her chest, Jenine searches frantically for her clock and narrows her eyes, forcing them to focus. When she fails, she hastily searches for her glasses, just besides her clock, and puts them on. She tries to focus again.

Six am.

Her body relaxes against her white cushion.

School does not start until another two hours.

The girl runs her fingers through her long, chocolate locks and sighs deeply. 

She knows that she won’t be able to fall asleep again.

Resigned, Jenine moves her blankets aside and decides that she might as well eat her breakfast while it’s still warm. Then, she can enjoy her extra free minutes to read a book or to work on homework. Or maybe she can stare out the window until she is inspired enough to write something decent. 

The brunette lets her eyes fall on the white and black images of the television her father insisted to buy, and, as he’s never home, never uses.

_This absolutely unstable political situation that might end in-_

She stands up to turn the device off and decides to temporarily ditch Dracula for Elizabeth Bennet. The atmosphere that rises with the beginning of the ocher autumn can only be matched, from her point of view, with the sweetness of words of romance.

An hour later, after reading non-stop while letting her body search for the most comfortable position, Jenine sighs and leaves her fantasy aside to put on her very-real school uniform. She stares at herself in the mirror, at the long, black skirt reaching her ribcage, at the pristine shirt bottomed to the top, at the spec glasses that sit on her nose.

She bites the inside of her cheek and puts her bag on her shoulders.

There are some days in which she wishes she couldn’t see herself.

Jenine arrives to school walking, as she always does, and tries to spend her last minutes of freedom without thinking about how boring the second period will be.

She absolutely despises mathematics.

But when she’s reaching the school’s door, a familiar voice makes her lose her breath partially. She blushes immediately, and she lowers her head to keep herself from starring.

The radiant voice breaks in a happy giggle, and Jenine lowers her gaze even further. The sound moves beside her, as a group of girls keep joking until they go through the big front door.

The brunette stays frozen looking at the mosaics, at her ugly black shoes.

Once the honey voice disappears, she hears another one, considerably less gentle.

“Move! Do you want all of us to be late?”

Jenine realizes then that she is standing in the middle doorway with hands her grasping the straps of her backpack tightly.

She apologizes quickly and forces her feet to tap against the floor again.

At least she has Literature on her fist period.

-

Nemamiah floats in absolute nothing and stares at absolutely nothing.

Everything hurts.

Her back, her head, her throat, her chest.

Once in a while, between an eternity or two, she finds new tears coating her cheeks. 

The previously bitter void is now full of sorrow.

Maybe it’s true.

Maybe she was not created to be an angel.

Maybe she was a mistake, the only Ethereal error, something that deserves to be erased.

She blinks quickly. Closing and opening her eyes means nothing. There is nothing to see.

She used to believe that she was invincible, the most powerful Dominion, the best. 

But now…

Now she has seen the truth.

As she leans her head backwards, she feels a force pulling her whole body down.

She gasps, unbalanced, and her weak limbs hit against a cold surface.

A white light illuminates the void. Nemamiah knows what’s about to happen.

“No, no, wait!”

The light stays still.

“I don’t think I can… I don’t think I can make it. I messed up terribly the las time and-”

_Ultimus occasio._

“I don’t want to hurt anyone!”, Nemamiah begs.

A moment of silence follows.

_Ultimus occasio, the voice repeats._

Nemamiah finds herself falling one more time. 

-

Jenine sighs with relief as she hears the school bell ringing against her ears. It’s an awful sound, really, but it means the end of the always despised second period, so she takes it gladly.

She’s fast in putting all her books inside her bag, bowing in almost-fake respect to her teacher and rushing outside the class before anyone else. She keeps walking quickly, her still pristine ugly shoes making a squeaky sound against the floor, and she opens the school doors to be outside again.

The brunette breathes. This is he part of the day that she likes. Lunch.

Not really because of the food itself. She’s barely got a mid-quality sandwich that her mother made ten minutes before she left to work and an apple that Jenine made sure to wash before putting it in her bag. No. Her favorite part of lunch is being able to lie on the soft grass of the school campus and get lost in her favorite book of the week one more time. She enjoys the solitude of the place during lunch, as most students -who have friends- eat in the cafeteria in midst of loud laughter, a too-warm temperature result of the food and the overcrowding of bodies, and occasional fights.

Jenine feels somehow content, then, as she sits with her legs crossed under her favorite blossom tree and fills her mind with colonial images once again. As she reads, when she ponders in the beauty of a sentence, she takes small bites of her sandwich, frowning every time she has to chew on the pickles that she has told her mother again and again she _doesn’t_ like.

When she’s reaching the end of tenth chapter, she makes a pause and takes a sip of water. Just in that moment, she hears it.

A radiant, angelical, excited laughter. _Her_ laughter. 

Jenine feels herself choking in her bottle of water and tries to cough as silently as possible while distant voices make themselves more and more clear. They stop a few meters in front of her, and the brunette risks a glance. They are sitting down, now whispering in what seems to be an entertaining gossip.

The brunette can’t believe her awful luck. They never have lunch outside the cafeteria, _never_. 

She lets her gaze move to the group again. The five girls, all pretty faces and even prettier smiles, are sitting in a circle, the school skirts that seem to suit only them well being protected by the -Jenine guesses her thoughts- _dirty_ grass by fancy tablecloth. 

Right at the middle, there’s her. Light brown, long hair shining against the noon sun, doe honey eyes open in the middle of a giggle, pearly teeth at display, and a messy tie that she gets scolded for every time hanging around her neck. 

_Lily._

_Even her name is cute_ , Jenine thinks, and puts her book closer to her nose, knowing that she won’t be able to read a single line.

She pouts without realizing. This was supposed to be her time to relax, to be alone, to force her mind away from the sometimes bitter reality. There is no reason why the most popular girls in the whole school would decide to spend lunch outside, just as she does. 

Lily laughs again, as loud as ever, and Jenine watches with the corner of her eyes as she stands up abruptly. She lets her long legs stretch with two small jumps and takes something out of her bag. The shortest brunette watches in the distance, feeling enchanted once again. Lily turns around to tell something to her friends, showing off her soft profile, and then looks up at the branches of the tree above her. She puts the object close to her face. Jenine can see it now. _A camera_ , she thinks, impressed. The tallest girl stays in the same position for a while, most probably taking one or two pics. When she finishes, she sits beside her friends again, still smiling dazzlingly.

Jenine looks at her book again. Her fingers tickle slightly, and her breath quickens as her mind begins to be filled with words. She squirms in her spot, trying to concentrate. She ponders on the idea of taking her stuff and running away from the place, but she’s afraid of the group noticing her.

So she stays.

When her fingers keep ticking, and her eyes can’t move past a single line of her book, she puts it down with a sigh.

Jenine takes out her black notebook from the deepest depth of her bag and opens it. She takes a glance at the many, many traces that describe the name “Lily” in complex calligraphy throughout the first page. She blushes, embarrassed of herself, and searches for a blank space.

Then, she starts to write.

_I can see your face sparkling against the crowd,_  
_Vivid and beautiful; unreachable as nothing of yours is like mine._  
_I wonder what makes you laugh like that,_  
_With the hint of sunshine in the curl of your smile._  
_You remind me of yellow tulips and mockingbirds in their youth._  
_Everything that surrounds you is alive._  
_You are the sound of waves kissing white shores before abandoning them again._  
_I soak in your eyes, but they are as far as the aging stars._

Jenine closes her eyes and her notebook at the same time.

The bell rings again, this time distant. 

Only when the girls move to their respective classrooms, their steps delicate as they complain about their short free time, Jenine feels brave enough to leave her spot.

-

Jisoo falls on Earth with her body already aching.

She sits on the floor and presses the palm of her hands against her eyes, trying to fight the overwhelming feelings the curse through her body.

It’s always kind of like that, but this time is more powerful.

This time, she’s hopeless.

She’s thinking about lying down and letting everything go into its usual loop just one more time, so she can come back to her eternal void and spend the rest of her existence there, floating.

Suddenly, a familiar voice makes her snap her head up.

“Jisoo?”

The brunette stares at Chaeyoung with her eyes and mouth wide open, stunned.

“Chae?”, she tries, her voice revealing plain insecurity.

The blonde gets closer to her, slowly, as if afraid of hurting her.

“Are you okay?”, she asks, tenderly as ever, her chocolate eyes soft as she tries to figure out what’s wrong, why a shattered version of the over-confident Jisoo that she met half a human century ago is staring at her with teary eyes.

“I’m so sorry, Chae”, she suddenly sobs, “I didn’t mean to hurt them, I just…”

The blonde widens her eyes and kneels on the floor, trying to be of any support for the shaking angel. She wraps her arms around her tiny figure, frowning, and she begins to understand. 

She feels guilty.

“Jisoo, you didn’t know”.

“You tried to stop me”, she complains.

Chaeyoung rubs the palms of her hands against her back.

“Those were the humans I was supposed to protect, to make happy”, Jisoo complains, “I thought it was going to be easy, I mean, I… I was a whole Dominion, after all”.

The blonde smiles sadly.

“It’s not as easy as it seems”.

“No”, the brunette agrees, “it isn’t. And I’m a piece of shit, so it was doomed to be a mess”.

Chaeyoung pulls away slightly, her stare burning in Jisoo’s reddened eyes.

“You are not a piece of shit. We can still make this work. This is our chance, right?”

Jisoo winces visibly.

“I will screw it, as I always do. I am doomed to my void, Chae. Please, leave before you get hurt, too”.

The blonde feels a pang in her heart.

“I won’t leave, Jisoo. I’m right by your side”.

The shortest angel frowns, conflicted.

“And I need you by mine, too, Soo. Please. We can make this work”.

“But-” 

Chaeyoung caresses the angel’s face with her thumbs.

“Do you trust me?”

_I’ve only met you for a portion of Eternity_ , Jisoo thinks. _But yet-_

“Yes”, she murmurs. 

The blonde angel stands up with a soft smile then, and offers her hand to Jisoo.

The brunette stares at it for a minute, feeling like running away.

She takes it.

Chaeyoung pulls her off the floor and then wraps her up in a soft hug.

“We will make it, Soo”, she murmurs against her ear.

Jisoo fells her legs giving in. She tries to convince herself that it’s because of her weak body.

“Yeah… cool”, she answers.

Chaeyoung pulls away, every single feature of her beautiful face beaming with hope.

Jisoo can only smile back.

-

The next day, Jenine spends lunch time in the library. It’s absolutely pouring outside, and, as much as she enjoys nature, no teacher would be happy with her entering the classroom soaking wet. She rests her back against her chair as her stomach grumbles uncomfortably. Of course, she can’t eat in the library, so she will have to wait until next recess to eat her sandwich.

It’s not much of an issue. Jenine enjoys the library. She enjoys the smell of books, the almost-silence, the soft colors. The rain tapping against the window creates an extra relaxed atmosphere, and the brunette lets herself get lost in her book again, the shushed voices of the students who are working in delayed homework drifting off completely.

She smiles mildly about a sarcastic remark of one of her characters, praising the author in her mind, but is abruptly brought to reality by the sound of a well-known voice.

“Good book?” she hears, and her heart starts to beat erratically against her chest.

Jenine puts her book down quickly to meet eyes with the prettiest girl she’s ever seen. Her lips part, desperately looking for an answer that won’t make her seem like a complete failure, and she feels, much to her horror, the heat of a hard blush covering her cheeks.

Just in the chair in front of her, Lily smiles patiently.

“Yes… I- yes”, the shortest brunette finally utters clumsily. She feels like slapping herself.

However, the tallest girl gifts Janine a soft giggle, making the heat in her face spread to her chest.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you”.

The shortest brunette shifts in her seat, fighting to seem composed.

“No, no. It’s fine. I’m sorry. I was just distracted”.

Lily hums, still staring at her.

_What is happening right now?_

“You like reading a lot, don’t you?”

Jenine nods once, finally putting her book down.

“I do”.

The tallest girl smiles softly again.

“That’s cool”.

A few moments of silence follow, and, as much as Lily doesn’t seem fazed but content with just staring at the shortest girl, Jenine feels like burning, so she tries hard to strike a mildly-civilized conversation.

“Do you?” she blurts out.

_Oh my god_ , she thinks. 

Lily looks at her confusedly, almost as if she was just woken up from a dream, and it takes her a second to understand.

“Oh, no. Not really”.

Jenine nods. She doesn’t feel disappointed in the slightest. People have different interests, and she respects that.

“Look, I’m here because Miss Bae told me to come to you”.

Lily looks terribly ashamed suddenly, and Jenine’s brain starts to go everywhere. She remembers miss Bae looking at her with pity eyes and prompting her to make some friends, claiming that she shouldn’t spend all day alone. 

_Oh no. Please tell me she’s not forcing her to be my friend. This is the most embarrassing thing-_

“I need a Biology tutor”, the tallest girl explains.

Jenine stares at the girl perplexedly, and she blinks twice before tilting her head to the side.

“Biology?”

“Yes”, Lily continues, “my grades are fine, but I need a tutor if I want to be prepared for my admission test at the end of the year. Miss Bae told me you are the best of the class”.  
Well, it’s not a lie.

“But… you are a class ahead”, the shortest brunette utters, remembering that, despite being a year younger, Lily will graduate at the end of the year, along with her.

She regrets the words as they leave her mouth, not wanting to offend the girl in the slightest. However, Lily merely shrugs and smiles apologetically. 

“I was a fast learner when I was a kid”.

Jenine is quick to speak.

“Oh, but I’m sure you are still a fast learner!”

Lily looks at her for a few seconds before her face morphs in what Jennie considers is the most gorgeous, sparkly, beaming smile ever.

“Does that mean that you will help me?”

_Oh my god I’m absolutely dead. I’m dead. I will die right here, Jenine thinks._

“Sure”, she finds herself saying.

The tallest girl lets out a delight squeal before jumping forwards and catching her new tutor in a tight, quick hug. Jenine blushes again, feeling dizzy.

“So, here, after our fourth period?”

Jenine merely nods, still trying to organize the messy thoughts in her head.

“We can meet twice a week if you want. Or three times if you are available! I don’t want to impose, though, if you have something else to do…”

“No, it’s… fine, I mean. I have some… free time”.

Lily shows off a toothy smile again.

“Perfect! So shall we start today?”

The shortest brunette nods once, and Lily stands up quickly, a grin still plastered in her features.

“Thank you, Jen! You are the best. I don’t want to steal any more of our time. Oh!”, she stops, her doe eyes scanning the shortest girl’s belongings with interest, “Do you want to have lunch with us?”

Jenine chokes, absolutely taken aback, and hugs her book close to her chest as if it was some sort of shield.

“No! I mean, thank you but... I forgot my lunch”.

The tallest girl frowns, her expressive eyes now tinted in worry.

“I could buy you some”.

The shortest brunette opens her mouth again, her mind working desperately to find any sort of excuse not to be forced in a table with four of the most popular girls in school looking at her like a complete outsider.

Her wits don’t save her, but the loud ringing of the bell does.

She smiles apologetically, feeling a sudden wave of relief.

“Another time?” she says, only to leave Lily satisfied.

The tallest girl pouts but then smiles.

“Alright. See you after fourth period!”

With that, she leaves the place jumping, grinning at the librarian as she tries to shush her. 

Jenine is left absolutely dumfounded, with her poor heart still chanting at the last lingering bits of Lily’s flowery scent.

-

Jisoo and Chaeyoung sit on the furthest table of the library as they watch the whole interaction intently.

When Jenine finally finds the strength to put her things in her bag and run to her class, the shortest angel sighs loudly.

“It just keeps happening”.

Chaeyoung stares at her.

“They just keep meeting. Despite everything. Despite there is a high chance that it won’t work”.

The blonde tilts her head to her side.

“Their souls are connected”.

“Yes”, Jisoo answers, and she keeps looking at the now empty chairs, pondering, “but it’s just… they are willing to try again and again, lifetime after lifetime. What kind of connection is that? They could just… find another soul. Another connection. One that is not doomed”.

Chaeyoung keeps staring at Jisoo, at her symmetrical features, at her heart-shaped mouth.

“But they love each other”.

The brunette stays silent for a moment.

“Beyond time”, she murmurs.

“Beyond time”, Chaeyoung confirms. 

The rain starts tapping against the windows more insistently.

“What do you think it will happen this time?” Jisoo asks.

The edge of fear in her voice makes Chaeyoung reach to hold her hand.

“I don’t know. We’ll figure it out, Soo”.

Jisoo looks at the blonde.

“Okay. Cool”, she says.

-

Jenine taps her pen against her usual table at the school library wondering how the hell she got herself in that situation.

She forces herself to breathe through her nose, to control her heartbeats, to look as calm as possible. Quite a hard task, considering that she’s going to spend probably the following two hours at a less-than-half meter of distance from the girl she’s been crushing on for three years now.

She steals another glance at the clock and tries to distract herself by cleaning her glasses for the fifth time in the day. As she’s putting them on, the doors of the library open wide and loud, much to the librarian’s dismay, and a messy-haired Lily enters through them with a worried expression.

“Sorry for the delay”, she half-shouts as she reaches Jenine. She lowers her voice when the librarian scolds her, “I saw the prettiest bird ever and I had to take a picture of it, but it flew away, so I tried to reach it for a while and then I remembered the classes and I ran here as quickly as possible”.

She finally breathes, sitting in the chair with an aggravated expression, and Jenine can’t help but to smile in endearment.

“It’s fine. You are only ten minutes late”, she gestures to the clock on the wall, trying to calm the tallest girl down.

“Oh”, she says as she takes in the new information, “I’m sorry, anyways”, she smiles.

Jenine looks down for a second to hide her blush.

“It’s fine… huh… shall we begin?”

“Yes!”, Lily looks at the librarian with narrowed eyes, “yes”, she repeats, murmuring. “I brought my stuff”.

She sprawls books and notebooks on the table, and Jenine feels slightly overwhelmed.

“I’m sorry…”

“Lily”.

Jenine looks at the tallest girl with a confused expression.

“My name is Lily”, the girl clarifies, and then chuckles, as if embarrassed of herself, “I know. It’s quite an ugly name, I mean, who is named after a flower.” 

“No, no”, Jenine is quick to deny with her head, “It’s just… I know your name. It’s… pretty, actually”.

The tallest girl tilts her head with interest.

“You know my name?”

Jenine frowns. Of course she knows her name. _Everybody_ knows her name.

“Yes”, she answers slowly, “you are quite… well-known”.

Lily stares at her in genuine surprise, and the shortest brunette wonders if she’s creeping her out.

“Oh”, she answers eventually, “I didn’t know. I guess I’m loud enough for people to notice”.

Jenine feels like telling her that the school population noticing her has more to do with the absolute beauty of every single one of her features rather than with her being loud, but she lets the thought die at the tip of her tongue.

Instead, she smiles softly.

“You are good”, she takes a deep breath to gather courage, “so, Biology”.

“Oh, yes!”, Lily exclaims in a shush. She looks at her notes before turning to Jenine, “I need help”.

The shortest brunette tries to keep herself from smiling.

“Yes, but, which aspect of it, I mean? What do you need help with?”

“Anatomy, mainly”, the blonde answers, “I barely passed the last exam and I truly need to do better if I want to get into Yonsei”.

Jenine stares at the girl with mild surprise.

“Yonsei? You want to be a doctor?”

The shortest girl watches as the natural spark in Lily’s eyes misses a beat, and the corner of her mouth twitches downwards almost imperceptibly.

“Yeah...”, she answers, her usually high-pitched voice lowering a bit.

An almost awkward moment follows, and Jenine tries to tune it down.

“Great!”, she answers, and she almost cringes at her own squeal, “I’m sure you will be a great doctor. A great _anything_ really. You seem very passionate, and well… that’s what matters, right?”, she blurts out.

Jenine almost slaps her own forehead due to pure embarrassment, but the suddenly bright smile that decorates Lily’s face and the way her eyes return to their usual vibrancy makes her think that maybe not _everything_ is lost.

“Thanks, Jen”, she says, and the brunette blushes slightly at the foreign nickname, “what are your plans once you finish school?”

“Bosung”, she answers, “Literature, if possible”.

The tallest girl nods with a smile.

“I can see why”, she thinks for a second, “although I suppose you could do anything right, considering your brain”.

She says so with an almost dreamy voice, and Jenine frowns slightly.

“I’m not good at _everything_.”

“Really?”

Lily gifts her a sided, almost teasing smile.

“I’m awful at maths”, she confesses, and the tallest girl stares at her for a second before breaking into a chuckle.

Jenine wonders if a heart could combust out of sheer endearment. 

“You are cute”, Lily tells her, and the shortest brunette feels like she might actually die right there.

She clears her throat, desperate to stay put.

“So, anatomy?”

The tallest girl sits straighter in her chair.

“Yes”, she closes her eyes under Jenine’s curious stare, “ready. Let’s do it!”

The shortest brunette thinks, at the back of her mind, that she has never met someone as happy to engage in a study session than the tallest girl seems to be. She begins by the absolute basics, just some parts of the body, and discovers that Lily is perfectly able to identify them by herself. When she tries with more specific details, organs, vessels, and muscles, her student hesitates a bit. So there’s where she starts.

An hour and a half later, Lily’s eyes begin to darken with the shade of tiredness. Despite of everything, she keeps working hard, a frown making itself more present between her eyebrows.

Jenine suggest to end the session before the sun goes down, and the tallest girl seems relieved. She looks at the clock and stands up quickly, thanking Jenine in a rush and promising her to be in time for the next session.

Just like that, she’s gone.

Jenine is left slightly confused and with the unsettling feeling of her emotions swirling even more dizzyingly than usual inside her chest. 

She sighs.

_Get over it_ , she thinks, _you are only here to help her become a doctor_. 

With helplessness making her legs heavier, she puts her stuff inside her bag and leaves the library to walk home. 

-

That night, under the faint light of the lamp on her night table, Jenine tries to write about her day.

She can’t.

She opens her black notebook and tries to ignore the pages in which, bored at maths, she sketched “Jenine Manoban” here and there.

She searches for a blank page.

_You look like you fit right in._  
_And somehow, more enchanting than anything else._  
_As my pale heart and longing presence melt in the background,_  
_Your joyful eyes light up all they meet._  
_Sometimes, an obscure shadow runs through tanned brown._  
_It settles for a moment, unsure,_  
_As it reaches the curve of your lips,_  
_And breaks the impossible cut of your jaw._  
_It’s a foggy moment,_  
_And it waits,_  
_Until the sun in your shapes rises again._  
_Who are you, child of the dawn,_  
_When the trembling storm doesn’t let you reach the horizon?_  
_When the nigh wind howls and howls,_  
_And all that’s left for you is the rawness of a soul?_  
_Let me see you._  
_Let me see it all, the roses and he thorns._  
_Your beauty is real because it’s beauty on its all._

The brunette closes her eyes, trying to keep it all in.

From the gap of her open door, she can hear the faint murmurs of her mother’s radio.

_If we don’t act now…_

Jenine turns off her lamp, and waits, her head against her pillow.

It her more than a few breaths to fall asleep.


	14. Arc V (2) - 1909

Jenine and Lily keep meeting in their study sessions.

They talk about Biology, mainly, the shortest brunette in a naturally low voice and the tallest girl trying to control her high pitch.

Jenine turns out to be a great teacher, or at least that’s what Lily says. Lily turns out to be a great student, or at least that’s what Jenine says.

They both work just well together, easy, despite the shortest girl’s attempts to keep her heartbeats at bay and the tallest brunette trying not feel utterly frustrated whenever concepts get a bit messy. Jenine smiles every time, trying to show comfort. It actually helps, to Lily’s mild surprise, both because she knows that her teacher is not ready to give up on her and because the shortest girl’s fluffy cheeks lifted up in a grin look just too adorable to stay annoyed. 

Whenever she’s able to identify all bones in a picture or to talk about the blood cycle without making a single mistake, Lily puts her hands up and cheers silently. Jenine giggles in return, maybe too loudly, unable to stop herself, and the tallest brunette feels even more accomplished.

Sometimes, Lily gets tired, or simply bored. Her teacher perceives it because doe eyes start to look around her as in an attempt of finding anything worth staring at. Some other times, Jenine finds her honey gaze fixed right in her face. It makes her twitch uncomfortable, the idea of Lily being able to spot and list all her flaws, so she wordlessly gives her a break to entertain herself with something other than her face.

Between hard work and soft laughter, the green of the leaves turn yellow, then brown, then in a memory. Days get slightly cooler, especially in the big library that becomes less crowded as the sunlight abandons earlier. 

When Jenine’s favorite cherry blossom lets its last pinkish cover touch the ground, Lily passes her first exam with more than flying colors. Despite this, she doesn’t suggest putting an end to her studying sessions.

“Do you like being alone?” Lily asks later that day, after a tiny moment of celebrating and a more prolonged moment of dealing with the digestive apparatus.

“Yes”, Jenine answers immediately, but then she decides to tell the whole truth, “No. Sometimes”.

Lily hums, and her mouth twitches.

“It’s just… I’m not… very friendly”, Jenine explains, her features adorned by a vague smile.

“What do you mean?”, Lily complains with a frown, “you are _very_ friendly”.

The shortest brunette licks her lips. She tries to find a way of explaining herself without sounding like the saddest object of pity because it’s kind of embarrassing.

“No, I meant… I have issues making friends. It’s like… I’m shy. I guess that’s it. Also I’m not the most entertaining person ever”.

The tallest girl keeps frowning, now a pout added to her expression as she crosses her arms against her chest.

“Well, I think that you are really entertaining. I have a lot of fun with you”.

Jenine merely smiles, and Lily looks at her pointedly, her eyebrows raised.

“That’s because you are…you”, the girl explains.

The tallest brunette stares at her teacher in confusion.

“What does that mean?”

“Well, you are nice, and naturally funny, and… sunny”.

Lily fights a smile.

“ _Sunny_ ? Does that mean that you are _cloudy_ ?”

Jenine stares at her student in perplexity before letting out a soft chuckle. 

_She’s something else._

“Maybe”, she says, still laughing, and Lily can’t help but to smile widely too.

When Jenine stops, the tallest girl still looks at her, her eyes soft.

“I like cloudy days, anyways. They are calm. I need them, sometimes”.

The heartfelt statement leaves the shortest girl with parted lips and a furious blush extending through her face.

The tallest girl keeps smiling, clearly happy with herself, and then moves her body closer to her teacher’s.

“Alright. I asked something potentially uncomfortable. You can ask something, too”.

Jenine narrow her eyes playfully as she hums.

“Why do you want to become a doctor?” she asks.

Lily’s expression falls, and the shortest brunette feels a desperate tug on her heart. She’s about to apologize, but the tallest girl speaks.

“My parents want me to become one”.

“Oh”, is all that Jenine answers, not wanting the shadow that crossed her Lily’s eyes to return anytime soon.

The tallest girl drifts her eyes to the clock and sighs loudly.

“I’m sorry. I’ve got dance practice in ten”.

She stands up, carefully moving her chair backwards.

“You dance”, Jenine murmurs, surprised, and her student looks at her with a renewed smile.

“Yeah! I can tell you about it… Oh! Are you free tomorrow?”

Jenine doesn’t even have to think about it. It’s Saturday, and she has already finished her homework for next week. She’s definitely free.

So she nods, and the tallest girl blinks twice, almost as if unsure for a moment, before speaking again.

“Do you want to go for some tea in the afternoon?”

She shifts from one leg to another, and Jenine needs some seconds to control the gushing, excited feeling that shakes her heart.

“Oh… yeah. Sure!”

Lily smiles then, absolutely beaming, and quickly searches for a piece of paper.

“Please, write your address and I’ll fetch you”.

Jenine does so, her chest still tingling.

Once she retrieves her piece of paper, Lily looks at the clock again and hangs her backpack on one shoulder frantically.

“Bye, Jen. See you tomorrow. Thank you!”

As the librarian shushes her, Lily’s long legs carry her out of the place.

Jenine is left with an erratic heart, a pen clutched between her fingers, and a happy smile.

-

Jenine waits on the sofa of her living room with her hands clutched in the hem of her flowery dress. Her chocolate hair falls on soft curls she learnt how to do from her mother, and she messes with the tips here and there, trying to ease her anxiety. 

She stands up to walk around the room, the dull voices murmuring obscure predictions on the radio making her even more uneasy, so she turns the device off and sits down once again.

It’s silly, and the brunette knows it. Her heart shouldn’t be palpitating at an almost painful point over the simple prospect of Lily taking out for tea. Correction: Lily going for tea _with her_ . As simple as that. She has been spending hours with her for weeks and weeks already, and she has observed her enough to be able to anticipate her previous unpredictable antics.

But the thing is, all interactions had had place in the safety of the library, the sanctuary Jenine knew almost the palm of her hand, where she felt comfortable, somehow still clutched at some sense of control.

Now, they are going meet _outside_ where people can see them and where there is a wider range of unforgivable mistakes she can commit. I mean, she could trip on her own feet and fell face-flat on to the floor, or step on chewing gum, or stain Lily’s outfit with black tea. _Everything_ could go wrong.

Jenine winces. She tries desperately to make her mind drift to happier thoughts, to the soft words of her favorite novels.

Her mom moves around her but she doesn’t even realize, lost in her own inner battle of fear and joy. 

“Are you going on a date?” Jenine hears suddenly, and rises her eyes to see her mother standing in front of the couch, her eyes filled with surprise and a slight teasing edge.  
The brunette flushes profusely.

“No! I’m going out with a friend”.

Jenine’s mother smiles big and slow.

“A boy-friend?”

“No”, the brunette answers, her cat-like eyes narrowed, “A girl-friend”.

The expression of the woman’s features falters or a second, but then returns to its original position.

“A girlfriend. Not _ideal_ , but honestly, at this point-”

“Mom!”

A soft knock interrupts their discussion and prompts the brunette to stand up abruptly. She flattens her dress, unconsciously, and her mother looks at her amusedly.

“Is she pretty?” the woman whispers and Jenine grasps the doorknob of her front door. She turns around and shoots her mom a warning gaze, but she merely shrugs, her teasing smile still in place.

Jenine swallows as imperceptibly as she can before opening the door to reveal a waiting Lily. She stands there, in all her stunning self, a pale hanbok hugging her small waist and her long, light brown hair moving with the wind in an almost magical manner. She smiles as she spots the shorter girl, big and toothy, and Jenine feels a smile tugging at her mouth as well.

“Hi”, she murmurs, and the tallest girl chuckles softly.

“Hi, Jen”, Lily answers.

Jenine is pulled out of her quite dreamy reality by her mother.

“Oh my, Jenine, where are your manners? Let your friend in”.

If Lily notices the almost ironic way in which the shortest girl’s mother lets out the word _friends_ , she doesn’t show it. Jenine notices, for sure. She glances at her mother again, annoyed.

Once the tallest girl finds her way to the household, she bows deeply at the woman, still smiling.

“Good afternoon, Miss Kim. I’m Lily”.

Jenine’s mom looks somewhat impressed.

“Good afternoon, Lily. You are as beautiful as my daughter told me you were”.

The tallest girl smiles softly at her friend, her eyebrows raised.

Jenine can only blush and stare at her mother with an even more deadly expression.

“Oh, thank you miss Kim”.

“Cool. Can we go now?” Jenine urges. Her feet move towards the door as she looks at her friend quite pleadingly. 

Lily follows her, still grinning, as the woman sits in the sofa.

As Jenine opens the door, her mother shoots her last strike.

“Bye, Nini, have fun”.

Jenine lowers her head to hide a blush and rushes out of her house mumbling, an absolutely amused Lily moving quicker to match her steps.

“Nini?” she asks once they are a few meters away from the door.

She bites her lip in a gesture meant to stifle a giggle.

Jenine pouts without realizing, and crosses her arms against her chest.

“It’s my childhood nickname”.

Lily gifts her a sunny smile, and she places her hands on top of the brunette’s arms.

“It’s so cute!” the tallest girl squeals, and Jenine would disagree if she could think about anything else but the tallest girl’s soft touch on top of her own skin.

“It’s not”, she manages to mumble, but her friend keeps looking at her with sparks coming out of her eyes.

“It is! Please allow me to call you like that, please!”

The shortest girl opens her mouth in an attempt to seem offended. 

“What? No! Why would I?”

“Because!”, the tallest girl explains, as she lets her own fingers intertwine with Jenine’s, “We would be Nini and Lili!”

The shortest girl feels a warmth making her heart double the pace of her beat. Lily keeps looking at her, traces of hope and amusement swimming in her beautiful tanned eyes, and she feels completely hopeless under the absolute light that her crush emanates.

“Alright”, she finds herself saying. 

Lily squeals in joy, and lifts their joined hands towards the sky. Jenine can only look at her absolutely stunned, soaked by her light.

“Let’s go for tea now, Nini. We got to celebrate our new nicknames”.

She doesn’t let Jenine’s hand go. On the contrary, she squeezes it, making the brunette smile. 

They make the whole way to the shop with their fingers intertwined, sometimes thumbs brushing against skin mindlessly, and Jenine even forgets about looking for bumps on the road, because her friend’s loud laughter engulfs every single negative thought.

They get to Lily’s favorite place only a few minutes after. The tallest girl orders red tea and some biscuits; Jenine orders black tea and a donut. They spend the afternoon between their sweet beverages and even sweeter giggles. 

Once in a while, Lily’s usually big smile transforms into a subtle smirk, and Jenine has learnt her enough to know that another question has popped into her wild mid. She answers always, as honestly as she can, whether she likes spicy food, if she has a favorite song, if she has ever had a boyfriend. Jenine answers the last one with her head hanging low and her soft cheeks significantly reddened. When she allows her gaze to meet Lily’s, she finds a softened stare.

Jenine asks questions too, but they are less bold. She’s significantly less expressive than the tallest brunette, but it doesn’t matter, really. She enjoys Lily’s brilliant presence altogether. At one point, the tallest girl states the she couldn’t pull off glasses the way Jenine does. The shortest brunette scoffs, surprised, and claims that Lily could wear _anything, anywhere_ and still look fantastic. The sweet comment rewards her a light blush, the first one she’s ever seen against her student’s cheeks. Jenine feels absolutely elated.

Lily pays both for her food and for Jenine’s. The shortest girl complains, of course, a light frown in her expression as she sees her student handing money to the waitress. Lily merely laughs as if endeared, and tells her that she can pay next time.

Jenine gets out of the place still trying to contain the sound that wants to escape from her mouth at the prospect of a _next time_ . 

The sun is already reaching west, much for both girl’s surprise, and a cold wind is starting to move the fallen brown leaves away. Jenine shivers without realizing, still buzzing out of the joy of spending the day having fun. Lily, however, does notice.

“Are you cold, Nini?”, she asks with a pout, “I should have brought a jacket”.

Jenine looks at her friend and smiles, but puts her own arms around herself nevertheless.

“Slightly. I should have brought one, too”.

The girl keeps looking at her, now her pout accentuated with a frown in her eyebrows.

“It’s fine, Lili, really-”

The frown disappears to be replaced with the light of an idea.

“Here!”, Lily says, and opens her left arm slightly, “Come”.

Jenine stares at her perplexedly, not knowing exactly what to do.

 _She’s not possibly suggesting…_

The tallest girl smiles and scoots closer to her teacher, wrapping her arm around her shoulders.

The shortest girl’s stomach somersaults as she tries to maintain her breath even.

“Oh… thanks”, she manages to say.

Lily squeezes lightly.

“Hey, don’t mention it. We are friends, right?”

Jenine shallows. She knows that she should be glad that she finally made a friend, truly. But, on the other side…

 _Friends._

Her heart aches a bit.

 _I need to get over this. I need to get over this._

“Nini!” the tallest girl whines against her ear, “Say I’m your friend. C’mon. Please?”

Jenine takes a deep breath and hopes to sound cheerful enough to make Lily happy.

“Of course”, she says, and her friend squeezes her side once again, this time laughing in delight.

“Yay! That means that you are having me by your side now, whether you like it or not”, she teases.

Despite the sorrow hitting in waves in her chest, Jenine smiles.

Lily is worth it.

“Alright”, she answers then, “I can live with that”.

They stop walking once they reach the front door of Jenine’s house.

Lily lets the shortest girl move away from her embrace, but grasps her hand in hers.

“Thanks for today, Nini”.

Jenine blinks before smiling shyly.

“Thanks to you, Lili. I had a lot of fun”.

“Okay”, the tallest girl murmurs.

She keeps staring at her friend with an unreadable expression, her chocolate eyes burning in Jenine’s for a minute. Then, she lets go.

“See you tomorrow!”, she squeals, and turns around to skip to her own house, waving twice before turning in the corner.

Jenine twists the doorknob with a slight smile and a heavy heart.

-

 _Joyful hummingbird, embedded by the golden hours,_  
_In my pipe dream, all is ours,_  
_The earth, the moon, your honey eyes,_  
_Until your song searches for somewhere softer to land._  
_Ah, thief of breath,_  
_Your wings spread as your wild heart decides to leave,_  
_And so does the wind that only blows for you,_  
_And all that it’s left is me; me and my weeping soul._

-

Jisoo and Chaeyoung sit on the thickest branch of the tree in front of Jenine’s house.

“Do you think she truly sees her as a friend?” the blonde asks. She’s holding a pot of strawberries that the brunette bought for her.

“I mean, probably, for now”.

Chaeyoung nods.

“Soulmates can be best friends; you know?”

Jisoo looks at her in surprise.

“Really? And the never develop romantic feelings for each other?”

The tallest angel smirks before putting a strawberry in her mouth. The brunette keeps staring at her. 

When she finishes munching, she answers.

“Sometimes”.

Jisoo giggles.

“I don’t think that those are meant to be friends”.

“Right? There’s this spark…”

The brunette snorts.

“You should have seen them some eternities ago, when the tallest human was a painter. There were _a lot_ of sparks there, let me tell you”.

Chaeyoung laughs loudly, blushing at the same time.

“Wow, you really had to go through it, huh?”

“Yeah”, Jisoo answers, and her smile falters.

The blonde looks at her for a minute before fitting her fingers between her fellow angel’s.

“We’ll go through it this time, too”.

Jisoo looks back at the blonde.

“Alright”.

A moment of silence follows, and the brunette smirks teasingly.

“Are you conveniently cold, Chaeng? Do you want me to put you closer to my body, _in a friendly way_ , and squeeze, _in a friendly way_ , and whisper a song in your ear, all in an _oh, so friendly way_ ?”

At the end of her speech, Chaeyoung is laughing loudly, her golden locks falling backwards along with her head. The brunette follows, finding the sounds that escape from the angel’s mouth ridiculously contagious.

Once she stops, however, Chaeyoung looks at Jisoo with a smile.

“Alight”, she says, and she scoots closer.

Jisoo looks at her, perplex.

“I was just joking”, she mumbles, but the blonde is already raising her teammate’s arm and putting it around her own body. Once they are pressed together, Chaeyoung sighs, letting her head rest against the brunette’s shoulder.

“No takebacks”, she murmurs.

Jisoo can only hope that she is not able to hear her erratic heart.

“Oh- Oh. Okay, cool”, she says.

The blonde only hums.

They spend the rest of the human night like that.

-

Just like that, Jenine and Lily begin to spend more afternoons together, sometimes in the beige, cool atmosphere of the library and sometimes under the warm light of the sun, whispering about science and about their deepest secrets altogether. 

When they are free, the tallest becomes louder. She speaks fast, excited, and opens her mouth wide in the midst of high-pitched laughter. She runs here and there, making the shortest girl follow her with her books pressed against her chest. When they truly need to walk somewhere, she lets her steps match her friend’s, despite the energy buzzing in her long legs.

They go to the park, or to the café, or just lie in any green space they can find. Lily brings her camera, every time. The takes pictures after picture, so much so that the brunette has given up in covering her face. Lily catches her with her guard down whenever she can, anyways. 

In a rare day in which she feels talky, Jenine asks Lily about her dancing. The tallest girl, who was busy trying to catch the perfect angle of the sunset hitting on Jenine’s left cheekbone, lowers her camera slowly. The shortest girl watches the way her doe eyes glow dreamily.

“Oh, I’ve been dancing since I’m, like, seven”, she says, and then sits on the floor in front of her friend.

Jenine hums, impressed. She wonders why they never talked about dancing before.

“That’s great! I bet you are really good”.

An unexpected blush covers Lily’s eyes as she gifts her friend a smile.

“Not really”.

Jenine rolls her eyes good-naturedly.

“I will have to see it then”.

To the shortest girl’s surprise, Lily’s cheeks redden further.

“Maybe. Someday”.

Jenine narrows her eyes playfully.

“And why not _now_?”

“Because it’s Saturday, silly!”

Lily crosses her arms against her chest and actually shows Jenine her tongue. The shortest girl stares at her with a mix of surprise and amusement.

“But you told me you had a record player at home, remember? With your favorite music, remember?”

The tallest girl stares at her friend with an absolutely cornered expression.

“Yes! But I…I…”

Jenine waits with her eyebrows arched. 

“Fine”, she mumbles in defeat, and the brunette puts her arms up and celebrates.

Lily gives her a look, but the shortest girl only shrugs, standing up and prompting her friend to do the same.

“You always do it and it has become a habit. Let’s go to your house!”

The get to Lily’s quickly, more quickly than they would if Jenine wasn’t so excited. The tallest girl opens the front door informing her friend that her parents are working ( _-On a Saturday? -Yeah, on a Saturday_ ) and guides her to her room. She kneels besides her record player, chooses her favorite disc and turns around to stare at her friend with a sheepish expression.

“I never told you that I was good, okay?”

Jenine rolls her eyes but smiles nevertheless. She sits on her friend’s bed, ready to enjoy the spectacle. 

The music begins softly. Lily stands in the middle of the room with her eyes closed. When the music gets louder, she starts to dance.

Jenine’s cat eyes grow wider, and her lips part without her noticing.

It’s the most beautiful thing she has ever seen in her entire life.

Lily dances to the beat as if she were a part of it, fluid, delicate, precise. Her arms swim in the air, her legs move as if she was not attached to the floor. Her feet twist and jump once or twice, just at the slightest changes in the music, and when the dancer finally opens her eyes, Jenine loses her breath.

Everything unsaid is written in her face. The depth of the music, the mysteries of her mind, the core of all her light. It’s all plain and overwhelming and so, so absolutely gorgeous that Jenine feels like crying. 

When the music fades away, and Lily finally returns to Earth, Jenine’s hands are clutching on the mattress.

A moment of silence follows as the shortest girl tries to breathe again, and Lily shifts uncomfortably, still in the middle of the room.

“Huh, well, this is-”.

“That was amazing”, Jenine mumbles.

Lily stares at her with an unsure smile.

“Yeah?”

“Oh my god, are you serious?”, the shortest brunette says, her eyes still wide, “That was just… _wow_ . Gorgeous. Stunning. You were… born to do this. You are like a whole professional, I mean!”

The tallest girl bites her lip to contain a smile and ducks her flaring cheeks.

“Nini, thanks… it’s really-”.

“Would you dance another one?”

Lily blinks, perplexed.

“Please?”, Jenine asks this time, and displays a heart-breaking pout.

The tallest girl looks at her with a gaze that Jenine hasn’t seen before, her big eyes somehow dripping a new, softer feeling. The shortest doesn’t know what it means, but she’s content when Lily smiles and chooses another song.

When the dancer twirls, Jenine can’t believe how lucky she is to be witnessing something as marvelous as her talent.

Hours later, the tallest brunette is walking Jenine home, despite her multiple complaints. They walk close, slowly, with their fingers intertwined. It’s a silent moment, and when the shortest girl turns to ask her friend if there is something wrong, Lily is already staring at her.

“What?” Jenine asks.

Her friend smiles.

“You are amazing, Nini”.

The shortest brunette grins.

“You are amazing, too, Lili”.

Before letting her friend go through her front door, Lily wraps her up in a warm hug.

Jenine relaxes her shoulders, her mind, her fears, and lets herself travel to a happy place with a lovely scent.

-

 _My dreamy doll,_  
_I should have known that your waist moves with the clouds,_  
_That your limbs are made of the lightest feathers,_  
_I should have known that the sun taught you to fly._  
_Unreachable creature,_  
_You were born already butterfly._  
_Let us, from the shadows of Earth, delight in your wonder._  
_Let your twirls reveal the deepest of your lies._

-

Days become weeks, and weeks become months full of sweet words and teasing giggles for both girls. Jenine gets to watch Lily’s expressive eyes become wide in happiness and dark in shadowed sorrow. In exchange, the tallest girl sees her friend opening up more and more, muted syllables becoming rants over books, over dessert, over life. They both grow along each other, like two different flowers that sometimes find the joy of brushing petals in a windy day.

Two months before the end of school year -their last school year- Lily is lying in her bed silently, her honey orbs staring at the darkness of her room intently.

Just besides her, on a mattress on the floor, Jenine lies likewise, her cat-like eyes already blinking in tiredness, but the happiness rushing in her body due to the sunny presence of her friend preventing her from falling asleep.

“Nini?”, Lily finally murmurs silently, and the shortest girl focuses, a bit startled.

“Yes?”

She hears a sigh, and then the movement of blankets. She turns her head blindly, trying to find her friend’s face in a black sea.

“I’m nervous”, Lily says. 

Her voice is hushed, raspy, and it almost makes Jenine sleepy again.

“You will do great”, she says, absolutely convinced.

She believes it. Next Monday, representatives of universities around the world will be going around school to recruit promising students to enroll in their institutions. Lily has been passing every single test with flying colors, even after their study sessions transformed more into friendly gatherings than in truly knowledge-productive meetings. It’s clear that she’s is smart. Brilliant, even, in Jenine’s words, and the shortest girl knows she will ace her last exam. 

“I… I think I know that”.

The unusual pitch in her friend’s voice makes Jenine frown. 

“Then… what is it?”

A moment of silence follows, and soft sounds begin to disturb it slightly. Jenine feels her breath catching in her throat. Lily is crying.

She sits up quickly, and leans her body forwards to rub her hands against her friend’s shoulders. The angle is awkward, but all the shortest girl can think about is the way in which Lily’s body is beginning to shake.

“Lili…” she mumbles.

“If I do well, I’ll became a doctor”, the tallest girl is able to let out.

Jenine frowns and stands up, moving to sit just besides Lily, so she’s able to pull her closer.

“And that’s not what you want”, she simply says.

Her friend shakes her head. In a desperate movement, the tallest girl motions with her arms for Jenine to hug her fully, lying on top of her. The shortest girl complies easily.

“I want to dance, Nini. I want to be a dancer”, she sobs, and Jenine’s heart shatters in pieces as her friend’s tears stain her pajamas.

She lets Lily cry some more, and is able to move both their bodies so she’s the one lying bellow, her friend’s head pressing against her chest.

She shushes softly, murmuring sweet nothings and rubbing her fingers against Lily’s back, desperate to stop the burning tears that fall non-stop from her unusually broken eyes.

When the tallest girl’s chest falls exhausted against Jenine’s body, the shortest girl speaks again.

“Become a dancer, Lili”.

The dancer frowns.

“But-”.

“What makes you happy?”

Lily sighs.

“Dancing”.

Jenine’s fingers run through long, silky locks.

“Then dance”.

The tallest girl smiles sadly.

“My parents won’t like it”.

“Too bad it’s not _their_ future, then”.

Lily rubs her nose against Jenine’s neck, deep in thought. Her friend smells wonderfully.

“They won’t support me. How could I afford my studies?”

The shortest girl hums.

“You’ll get a full scholarship”.

A low giggle vibrates against her chest.

“In the Paris Opera Ballet? There are billon students who want to go there and are infinitely better than I am. It’s impossible”, Lily states.

“Are they coming to school on Monday?”

The tallest girl frowns in confusion, but nods against Jenine’s chest anyways.

“Then you will get it. You will dance for them, get the scholarship, and move to France to fulfill your dreams”.

Lily sighs again.

“Ni-”

“Look at me”, the shortest girl orders. Her voice sounds commanding enough for Lily to follow without further complaints.

They look at each other the best they can, submerged in the deepest darkness. Jenine cups her friend’s cheeks softly, keeping her steady.

“Lili, I don’t know anything about dancing, but even I can see that you have enough art running in your veins to enter in that institution without a single obstacle. They will beg your you. You are… just wonderful, amazing, and everything in you reveals pure will to become even better. There is no one readier than you. You were born to dance. You just need to go for it. Defy the destiny others have built your you”.

The tallest girl stares at her friend, teary eyed.

“You are fucking fantastic, Jenine Kim”, she says, simply.

Jenine smiles, catching her friend’s tears with her thumbs.

Lily lets her head fall on top of the shortest girl’s chest once again.

“You deserve the best… the absolute best”, she keeps mumbling, letting her hands rub against Jenine’s sides lovingly.

The shortest girl giggles, blushing deeply.

Her heart palpitates both in joy and absolute sadness.

“Wil you try, then?”

Lily starts to breathe deeply.

“I don’t know… Maybe… If I feel…”

Jenine chuckles softly, and moves to get out of Lily’s bed.

“Alright, sleepyhead…”

The tallest girl doesn’t move.

Jenine tugs again.

Lily does move this time. She uses her long arms to encircle her friend’s waist and presses her face against the curve of her neck.

“Stay”, she murmurs only.

The shortest girl feels her body buzzing but relaxing nevertheless against the fluffy mattress. She’s so tired, and everything is so soft, and Lily smells so good, and her heart is so, so full.

“Okay”, she says only.

They fall asleep like that, warm against each other as the moon greets the sun to let it shine again.

-

On Monday, Lily finishes her last two-hour Biology exam in an hour and a half. The teachers look at her in surprise, but she merely bows and leaves the room. She’s about to go home, to lie under her covers and tell herself over and over again that’s she has taken the right decision.

Walking through the school’s hall, she catches the sight of Jenine in the midst of her own Literature exam. Her friend can’t really see her, her eyes and fingers focused in the creation of the best essay she has ever written. Lily smiles, absolutely endeared. The morning sun is hitting her face just lovely, her lips bowed in a cute pout.

The tallest girl feels her heart feeling lighter, and lighter, and lighter. Then, she turns around and lets her feet lead her to the school’s gym. When her determination begins to falter and her legs start to shake in anxiety, the faint sound of music drags her in, powerful. She finds herself standing in a short line, the people she’s always looked up to sitting on a chair with critical stares fixed on the girl dancing in the middle of the room.

Then, another girl follows.

Then, a boy.

Next, it’s Lily’s turn.

Before walking to the spotlight, she imagines herself in her room, Jenine’s soft stare burning in her body as she dances freely, happily, floating.

When her turn comes, she thinks about colors, sounds, smells, touches, cat eyes and soft hands pulling her close. Meanwhile, her body melts with the flow of the music.

She’s too busy enjoying every bit of the moment to take notice of the soft gasps and the impressed murmurs.

When she moves to the side, letting another student show off her skills, one of the professors tells her that she will get the results of her audition in less than a month. Then, she smiles and winks.

Lily smiles back. Even if she doesn’t get in, there is absolutely no room for regrets.

She thinks about waiting for Jenine to finish to engulf her in the warmest of the hugs.

-

Days and days pass fast as the end of the year gets closer. Mornings are long, true, full of books, and tests, and essays, and angry teachers who are definitely not paid enough. 

For Lily and Jenine, however, afternoons are sunnier than ever. The beginning of the summer starts to heat up their skin more steadily, and the rainy days of the spring became more seldom. The tallest girl’s smile becomes, to her friend’s utter surprise, even brighter, toothier. Jenine lets herself be soaked by the light, as always, and sometimes even mumble some jokes herself. Lily always rewards her with the loudest of their chuckles.

The tallest girl is smiling, currently, her back against the soft grass of the park in front of her house. Her bare feet tap against the green mattress, sometimes, as she lets her eyes find shapes in white, plump clouds.

Just beside her, Jenine is lying on her stomach, grazing some wildflowers with the tip of her fingers.

“Hey, Lili”, she mumbles.

The tallest girl turns around in a sign of attention.

“Didn’t your friends get upset when you started to hang out with me?” she asks, still watching purple petals.

Lily frowns.

“Why are you asking this?”

The shortest girl hums serenely, and her friend’s shoulders relax with the realization that she’s not upset, just genuinely curious.

“I don’t know, I just thought about it. You used to spend a lot of time with them”.

Lily watches as Jenine closes her cat-like eyes for a moment.

“I just hung out with them at school, really.”

The shortest girl opens her eyes and her gaze meets Lily’s. There is a still moment that makes both of them smile softly.

“So they didn’t mind?”

The tallest tilts her head lightly, and Jenine already knows the answer.

“A bit…”

The shortest girl purses her lips, but says nothing.

“I mean, who cares, right?” Lily speaks again, afraid of having hurt her friend’s feelings.

The shortest girl smiles and shrugs shyly.

“If you don’t mind…”

Lily frowns then, and reaches out to hold Jenine’s hand in hers. She intertwines their fingers, and stares pointedly at her eyes.

“Nini, I would choose to be at your side rather than at anyone else’s”.

Jenine stares at her friend with an honestly surprised expression, her eyes becoming big as her cheeks begin to redden.

“Oh”, she says simply, and then she recovers, “I’d choose you as well”.

Lily’s entire expression changes then, as she giggles airily, and keeps looking at her friend now with melancholy in her eyes.

“I will miss you. Maybe I could go visit you at Bosung once in a while”.

Jenine smiles.

“From Paris? That’s a long trip, Lili”.

The tallest girl sighs, and leaves Jenine’s hand for a moment. Then, she decides that she wants to caress her friend’s cheek with her indents. She does so.

“Nini, I didn’t get in. We both received our admission letters. I’m sure that they would’ve sent them theirs if I had gotten in”.

The shortest girl seems unfazed.

“They are technically a company, not a university, even if they offer scholarships”.

Lily blinks a few times. Her face breaks into a smile.

“You really think I made it in, don’t you?”

Jenine shrugs again. She turns around to face the sky as well.

“If they can truly spot talent”.

Lily gets closer to her, then, as an impulse, and lays her arm across her friend’s stomach.

“Have you checked today?” Jenine asks.

“No”, Lily whispers.

She feels her friend’s fingers running through her hair. It makes her feel warm and nice.

“Then check”, the shortest girl answers.

Lily feels herself tearing up. She lets her nose press against her friend’s cheeks.

“You are one of a kind, Kim Jenine”.

The shortest girl smiles. She doesn’t answer.

The sun gifts them a bit more of warm sunlight before it’s time to part ways.

-

 _Undying flower, you shine with the force of the flames,_  
_You move with the whisper of the sea._  
_There is nothing you cannot reach._  
_Everything is yours, the Universe bows upon your eyes._

-

Lily gets home just when the sky becomes a mess of purples and oranges.

She stands right in front of her closed mailbox.

Her body shakes, and she feels like running, so she thinks about Jenine’s gummy smile.

It works. 

She opens her mailbox. In the shadows of the upcoming night, it seems empty. Lily feels like crying, but tries anyway.

She puts the tip of her fingers in, and gasps.

There is something there.

She swallows, trying to keep it in.

She grasps an envelope and pulls it out.

Her fingers tremble.

She reads the cover.

 _Paris Opera Ballet._

Lily squeals, unable to spot herself. She frantically moves closer to the light illuminating the entrance of her house. She opens the letter carefully, afraid.

 _Dear Manoban, Lily. We are pleased to tell you that your qualifications have been enough to be admitted…_

The girl breaks down sobbing in happiness. When she finishes the letter, she is a mess of emotions.

She watches the front door of her house. She thinks about Jenine’s soft words.

Then, she puts her chin up and her letter against her chest. She’s about to make the boldest move of her entire life.

-

Lily runs to Jenine’s with tears running down her cheeks and the most dazzling smile she has ever mustered.

The shortest girl answers the door after hearing quick, insistent knocks.

She finds her friend panting, her hair a mess, her gaze glossy.

 _She’s beautiful_ , Jenine thinks, and opens her arms instinctively, _stunning, absolutely-_

“I’m going to dance, Nini! I’m going to be a dancer!”

Jenine feels her throat tightening.

In the midst of her turmoil of emotions, she finds genuine happiness too.

“Lili, I know! I told you!” she exclaims.

Her friend squeezes tighter.

“It was because of you, Nini. All because of you”.

The shortest brunette shakes her head.

“You are the one who dances”.

Lily pulls away.

“You are the one who told me to choose happiness”.

Jenine smiles softly.

She regrets absolutely nothing.

“When do you leave?”.

There is a shift in Lily’s eyes.

“Fifteen days”.

Jenine nods and pulls her friend close again.

-

 _I lie in the softest of the clouds where everything is dark and gloom,_  
_And I let my soul weep in silent doom._  
_How quick the wind stole my flowery summer._  
_How quick the tide let the sand drown._  
_And burning arrows keep hitting, keep hitting,_  
_Agonizingly slow as my cloud is filled with holes._  
_Me and my wingless birds watch everything happen,_  
_A whisper away from the calming storm._  
_This is how the world ends, they say,_  
_Not with a bang, but with the whimper of a soul._

-

Seven days after, they graduate.

They spend the morning at the school’s official event, Lily portraying a white smile and Jenine ginning softly by their side.

They laugh as always, speak in murmurs as always, tease each other as always.

And somehow, something feels different.

They spend the afternoon together as well, as more and more white clouds start to darken the blue sky.

“It doesn’t matter”, Lily mumbles as it starts to rain, “We’ll just do something different”.

They don’t do anything different, really. They just move from the park to Lily’s room and do exactly what they always do in each other’s company: be happy.


	15. Arc V (3) - 1909

“Jisoo we have to do something. We have to do something now”.

Chaeyoung is standing outside Jenine’s house, her eyes wide as she watches the two humans cuddling in their sleep.

Her fellow angel waits patiently.

“Lily is literally about to leave for… I don’t know… years, and who knows that will happen until she comes back”.

Jisoo sighs.

“I don’t think she’ll be able to come back”, she says.

Chaeyoung turns around to stare at her, eyes somehow desperate.

“What? Why?”

The shortest angel takes a glance at the people walking home, unaware of their ethereal presence. Their steps are quick. Some are looking ahead, mutely, and some are looking down, eyebrows furrowed.

There is something in the air, something in the curve of their backs, in the bitterness of their lower lips.

Something that Jisoo has become acquainted with since the first time she arrived to Earth.

The feeling of an imminent war.

“The conflict”, is all she says.

Chaeyoung keeps staring at her.

“There is a chance that the humans realize… I mean, there’s still…”

Jisoo looks back in pain.

“I’m sorry, Chae”, she mutters.

The brunette swallows.

“We have to give them a chance, Soo. We need to”.

Jisoo bites the inside of her cheek.

“But wouldn’t it be more painful if they are forced to love without restrictions and never get lo have each other again? Wouldn’t it be better if they stayed as they are?”

Chaeyoung kneels besides her fellow angel. Her eyes burn in Jisoo’s defeated stare.

“No”, she says simply.

The brunette blinks.

“Why?” she asks, all sincerity.

“Because of love, Jisoo”, the angel answers.

The brunette stares silent, her lips parted.

_Because of love._

_Love._

“What are you going to do, then?”

Chaeyoung stares at the room again. She sees Jenine’s and Lily’s stuff scattered in a wooden desk. Then, her gaze fixes on the shortest girl’s black notebook, half-hidden in a set of full shelves.

“Something stupid”, she mumbles.

She is surprised to feel Jisoo grasping her hand.

“Chae, be careful, please”.

The blonde feels moved like never before.

“I’ll take care of them”.

“I know you will. I want to take care of you as well”.

The angel lets a bittersweet feeling fill her chest completely. Then, she focuses back in the room.

When she finishes, she sits down besides Jisoo to pull her close.

-

Three days before leaving to France, Lily is lying on her own bed, her eyes closed.

Her mind twirls around her dream, around her ready suitcase, around the voyage.

She breathes deeply.

And maybe she’ll even get her own room, and maybe she’ll see the Eiffel tower, and she will finally take profit from those horrendous French classes that her parents made her attend when she was a child.

She sees herself in a fancy restaurant, asking for coffee, a bit tired after hours of practicing. She goes back to her apartment, small but enough, and when she opens the door, there are cat-like eyes waiting for her, staring into her figure tenderly, and-

Lily opens her eyes.

But Jenine won’t be there.

She swallows. 

_Again_ , she thinks, _again. She won’t be there_.

Lily feels the excitement of her heartbeat becoming painful.

_She won’t be there, so her hugs won’t be there, and her smile won’t be there, and-_

She sighs and stands up from bed. To distract herself, she gathers enough will to unpack her bag. She puts away the magazines she brought to Jenine’s, her camera, some revealed pictures, and-

Lily frowns, taking the last foreign object out of her bag.

A black notebook.

It doesn’t have a tag anywhere, so it takes Lily some time to realize that it can belong to her best friend.

And just to be sure, she opens the first page.

-

Jenine looks at her bookshelves with crescent desperation.

_Where the hell is it?_

It’s still early in the afternoon, so her mother won’t be around the house until many hours more, which means that she can’t possibly ask her if she _dared_ touch her notebook at least until the evening, which means-

She hears a loud knocking at the door.

Jenine frowns slightly, takes a last, indignant look at her bookshelves, and moves to the front door.

When she opens it, her whole reality begins to get dizzy in the most horrible way by just one glance.

Just past the doorframe, Lily is looking at her with a billon of blended expressions and her black notebook right in her hands.

Jenine tries to breathe, desperately, mutely, holding into the last thread of hope that Lily might have not read the notebook, that she might be just there to give it back so she still has a change to fucking burn all that nonsense.

When she dares to stare into Lily’s eyes again, all her hope breaks in painful pieces.

“Nini”, the tallest girl murmurs, clearly at a loss of words as well.

Jenine exhales everything out and is unable to take anything in again. As tears fill her intense eyes, she begins to hyperventilate.

Everything becomes even fuzzier.

She hears the faint noise of the door closing, of Lily saying her name again and again. She feels her soft hands against her own cold, sweaty forehead, and she can’t stop the hot tears from reaching her chin.

When her friend starts to caress her arms, big, doll eyes staring at her in pure worry, Jenine feels finally able to speak again.

“I’m sorry”, is all she can say, between broken gasps, “I’m so sorry, Lily. I’m so sorry”.

The sunlight is peeking through white, fluffy clouds, hitting directly against her face.

“Lily, I’m sorry”, she keeps mumbling.

She sees her friend moving her lips, telling her things that she doesn’t understand, she doesn’t want to understand.

But has to. If Lily is insulting her, telling her to stay away, calling her repulsive, disgusting, revolting, she deserves it, she deserves it all.

So she listens.

“Please, Nini, come back to me. Please”.

Jenine is now becoming aware of the tears filling her friend’s eyes. 

Her world becomes clearer.

“Nini, please, answer. It’s okay. It’s okay”.

Jenine feels her friend’s fingers clutching her shoulders. Her breath becomes more even.

“I understand if you want to leave”, she manages to say then, “I understand, but Lily, I just”, her voice breaks, “I just want you to know that I… I didn’t ask for this. I tried to help it but I couldn’t. I swear. I swear I tried to, to stop these feelings, because…”

She interrupts herself, unsure. 

Lily doesn’t pull away. She looks at her seriously, more serious than ever, her usually soft eyes now fixed sternly in her stare.

“Why did you try to stop them?” she asks.

Jenine frowns, confused.

“What?”

The tallest girl keeps staring at her.

“Why did you try to stop your feelings?”

Jenine looks at her friend in utter surprise.

“Because… they are bad. I mean you… they are one-sided! And that makes them… bad for us”.

Lily grasp Jennie’s cheeks with the palm of her hands, the tenderness of the gesture contrasting with the sharpness of her look.

“What do you feel for me, Jenine?”

The shortest girl blushes furiously.

“Lily, please”.

Her eyes fill with tears again. This is her punishment.

“What do you feel for me, Jenine?”, Lily insists, pointedly.

Jenine opens and closes her mouth twice, without producing a sound. Then, she answers.

“Love”, she says, her tone of voice low, shameful.

Lily swallows, stares at her for a moment, and then exhales loudly.

Jenine is ready to be punched, pushed, insulted, put into shame.

Instead, she is pulled in with a decisive tug.

And just like that, she is being kissed with soaring passion.

Jenine feels Lily’s lips moving against hers almost with desperation, and she needs just a few seconds to adjust and give everything back. She pours, and pours, and pours, and Lily pours back. At some point, the tallest girl moves her hands downwards to pull Jenine closer by hugging her waist. Half-instinct and half-want, the shortest girl lets her fingers thread in Lily’s long hair.

The tallest girl pulls away for a second, only to mumble a delighted _fuck_ , and then searches for another angle, tugging the shortest girl’s body backwards until she’s sitting on the couch with Jenine straddling her, both mouths still melting into each other’s heat.

They keep tangling like that for a few more minutes, until the shortest girl pulls away panting, her eyes still shinning with mild dizziness.

They girls look at each other, Lily with her head slightly tilted up, Jenine squirming lightly in her lap.

“Uh, oh… okay”, the shortest girl starts, her whole face flushing profusely, “that was…”. She trails off, suddenly shy, and Lily can’t help but to smile widely.

She lets the pad of her fingers caress Jenine’s face reverently.

“You are so cute”, she mumbles.

The shortest girl feels a twirl in her chest.

“Yeah?” she asks breathlessly, and Lily looks at her with a teasing smirk.

“Yes. Definitely”.

Jenine squirms again, and feels the tallest girl embracing her small waist lovingly. She bites her lip to contain a happy squeal.

“Does that mean… that you like me?”

Lily stares at her with her eyebrows raised.

“Yes, Nini”, she chuckles, “that means that I like you very much. I’ve liked you for a long time, actually”.

She sighs after her speech as if a horrible weigh had finally been eased off her shoulders. Jenine can only stare at her with a stunned expression.

“What?... but… you never said anything”, she mumbles.

Lily keeps staring at her with a dreamy gaze.

“You never said anything neither, love”.

Jenine feels a rush of joy buzzing in her body.

_Love._

She tries to focus.

“But… but I _showed_ it! I mean I tried not to, but…”

The tallest girl stares at her for an extra moment and leans forwards to brush the tip of her nose against Jenine’s jaw, as if completely unable to control herself.

The shortest girl doesn’t complain in the slightest.

“I tried not to show it as well, Nini”, she hums lowly, making Jenine shiver. “I think…”, she stops for a second, breathing in, and then she pulls away to look at the shortest girl’s face again, “I think we were both a bit stupid”.

The comment earns Lily a lovely giggle, and she smiles too as she analyzes each one of her lover’s face with absolute adoration.

Both girls stare at each other then, smiling, and the tallest girl licks her lips.

“Can I kiss you again?” she asks in a rush.

Jenine doesn’t answer. She simply leans forwards, happy to comply. 

They kiss for some extra, blissful moments, Jenine’s hands behind Lily’s head as she feels strong arms squeezing her close to the warmth of the tallest girl’s body.

They pull away, still euphoric.

Then, something goes through Jenine’s eyes, a shadow, an uneasy thought, the sorrow of realization.

And it all comes crashing down for Lily, too.

She leaves in three days.

The atmosphere shifts, and they both look at each other with a mixture of horror and pain. Jenine’s eyes start to fill with tears, and Lily feels powerless against the feeling of outrage that stabs her heart.

_How unfair_ , she thinks, _how unfair, how unfair…_

Her eyes get glossy as well, and she feels an impulse tugging her chest.

“I’ll stay”, she says simply. “I’ll stay with you. I can dance later”.

She expects to find a flicker of hope illuminating cat-like eyes. Instead, the sorrow stays untouched.

“No, Lili”, Jenine says simply, “You can’t”.

“I can”, the tallest girl complains, “I _can_. I can wait. I just want to be with you, Nini. I just want us to be together. Don’t you want the same, too?”

She grasps the sides of Jenine’s shirt in desperation.

The shortest girl begins to shed tears.

“Yes, Lili. Of course I want to be with you”, she says breathlessly, “I’ve wanted to be with you for _years_.”

“Then let me stay, love”, Lily pleads.

Jenine denies with her head, her eyes shut painfully.

“Why?”, the tallest girl demands, “ _Why?_ ”

“You know what’s going on, Lili. We all know… we all know but we don’t talk about it. We don’t even know what will happen month. You need to leave now. There’s no more time”.

Lily sobs. She grasps Jenine’s face with the palm of her hands.

“But I love you!” she complains.

Jenine stares at her lover with a broken expression.

“For how long have you loved me?” she asks.

Lily hesitates, her eyebrows furrowed.

The shortest girl waits.

“Months”, Lily says.

She knows that it’s not entirely true.

“For how long have you loved dancing?” Jenine asks.

Lily finally understands.

“Nini”, she murmurs, and begins to sob loudly, her face hiding in her lover’s neck.

She feels her heart tearing apart.

“I love you too, Lili”, Jenine murmurs. 

The tallest girl shakes.

“And I want you to be happy”.

Lily keeps crying.

“I want you to be happy too. I just… this is… so fucking unfair. It’s so fucking unfair. Why can’t be just be together? It’s like we are cursed!”

The rage she feels is overwhelming, mixed with the despairing feeling of hopelessness and sorrow that stab her heart non-stop. It feels wrong, so wrong, as if she had gone through this again and again and again.

Jenine’s turmoil of feelings burn in the same way. It all feels twisted.

She takes a deep breath, gathering strength. She needs to be Lily’s sun this time, in the same way the tallest girl hugged her with her light whenever she desperately needed it.

“If we are meant to be together”, she begins, and the tallest girl pulls away to look at her, “we will meet again. We will meet again, Lili”.

Lily keeps crying, but grasps Jenine’s nape to pull her in and embrace her in a soaring kiss.

Jenine kisses back, letting her fillings spill everywhere.

When they both begin to breathe evenly again, Lily looks at her lover with a veil of determination illuminating her eyes.

“We will meet again, then”.

Jenine nods. 

“What are you doing tomorrow?” she asks.

Lily manages a broken smile.

“Spending the whole day with you, love. I’m going to give you all the love I’ve always wanted to… if you let me”.

Jenine presses her forehead against Lily’s.

“Give me all of it. _Please_. I want it all”.

They kiss again, holding each other’s broken pieces.

-

_Stream of the purest joy,_   
_What to do when golden rays are not enough?_   
_What to do when green turns yellow, yellow turns brown,_   
_And the furthest darkness claims for its most precious star?_   
_My love, don’t you worry,_   
_Our poor hearts may be torn apart,_   
_But all the pieces that are left,_   
_Let themselves dance in a beat that always match._   
_My euphoric love, don’t you worry._   
_Don’t let the stars die in your eyes._   
_I will make sure that all words I utter in your name,_   
_Follow the wind to paint your sky._

-

Chaeyoung puts her hands against her eyes and purses her lips hard.

At her side, Jisoo stares at her with an almost serene expression.

“There has to be something...”

Chaeyoung feels a tug on her arm. She looks at her fellow angel slightly surprised.

“Soo… we have to-”

“Can you hug me?”

The blonde angel stares at Jisoo with her heart clenching. The brunette is looking back, her eyes waiting, insecure.

“Of course”, she says in a rush, and forgetting everything, she pulls Jisoo between her arms and squeezes tightly.

“It’s okay, Soo, we will-”

“This is the last time we’ll see each other”.

Chaeyoung pulls away to stare at her teammate’s face, her own eyebrows furrowed in confusion and fear.

“What?”

Jisoo tilts her head to her side.

“This was my last chance”.

Chaeyoung opens her mouth in disbelief, feeling desperation creeping up from her stomach.

“What? Jisoo, we’ve got to-”

But the brunette merely sighs and lets her head fall on top of the blonde’s shoulder.

“Jisoo…” Chaeyoung murmurs.

“It’s okay, Chae… it’s okay”.

The tallest angel feels her eyes prickling.

“But why?”

“Because I did something unforgivable”, Jisoo answers simply.

Chaeyoung shakes her head.

Jisoo has her antics, true, and she was a bit sharp around the edges at first, but that doesn’t mean that she’s _bad_. She deserves redemption. 

“Yes”, the brunette says, however, “I did. And now I’ve got to pay for it”.

“But what did you do, Soo?”, Chaeyoung whispers, “what did you do to be punished like this?”

Jisoo flinches, feeling the memories stabbing her chest, bleeding everywhere.

“Some time ago”, she begins, “me and a group of Dominions… of _important_ Dominions, or at least we thought we were… we started to question Creation”.

Chaeyoung waits silently.

“We thought that humans would be better off without passionate emotions. We thought that the rashness that resulted from passion was the reason for all human conflicts. By that time, humankind was very different as it is now”.

The blonde blinks, confused.

Jisoo finally pulls away.

“Let’s sit down”, she says.

Both angels sit.

“How different humans were?” Chaeyoung asks.

“Oh, they were mostly undressed, nomads, and they hunted and collected fruits to survive. They had a very basic system, just eating, sleeping, reproducing, and having occasional fun. It was simpler than it is now. Way simpler”.

The blonde nods, trying to understand. Guardians were created later, when humans started to need them more urgently.

“But even then… there was conflict. Fight, wars, over fire, over food, over women. Those creatures were supposed to be one of the most important of the whole Universe. We were supposed to watch over then, after all… and yet… all those feelings, all that suffering…”

Jisoo’s eyes get glossy, distant.

“So we started to wonder… what is what brings human to act that way? What is that powerful feeling that brings them to sob, to fight their equals, to use the bodies they were gifted with to do evil? So we analyzed them… analyzed human nature… and discovered that the irrational, powerful feeling was called _love_ ”.

Chaeyoung gasps, her eyes wide.

“It’s _hate_ what bring humans to do wrong, not love!”

Jisoo blinks at the interruption, as if brought back to reality.

“But hate and love are the opposite poles of the same feeling. The intensity is the same. The result is the same: rashness”.

Chaeyoung keeps staring at Jisoo with disbelief.

“And once we realized that, we… decided to experiment”.

A long pause follows, as if Jisoo was getting ready to speak again.

“And we decided to gather some souls”, Jisoo’s eyes start to fill with tears, suddenly, “and… deprive them from that feeling”.

Chaeyoung mouth remains open.

“ _What?!_ ”

“We just… gathered all those souls… like a hundred… and took the love away, just to see what happened. I don’t even know what the fuck we were thinking about. I don’t even know why we thought we wouldn’t get caught. We truly thought we were… superior. Almighty”, her voice strains, “but we are not. We are not”.

Chaeyoung stares at Jisoo as if seeing her for the first time.

“What happened to the souls?” she asked.

“They… became corrupted. Broken. Hopeless. They get assigned to people once in a while and do the worst. And they can’t go to Paradise, because they can’t love”.

The blonde feels like crying as well.

“What’s the _worst_? What do they do, Jisoo?” she demands. Her voice is rough, almost aggressive.

The brunette flinches, but she bears it.

“They make murderers, abusers, liars, traitors”, she starts speaking slower, suddenly, as if everything was becoming lighter with the weight of her hidden sin finally being lifted, “corrupted politicians”, she continues, and her eyes get wider, “greedy people… world leaders fond of war”.

She stares at Chaeyoung with the expression of somebody who has been revealed the deepest of the truths.

In exchange, the blonde looks at her with a mixture of disgust and disappointment. She stands up feeling weak.

“I’m sorry … I can’t…” she begins. She watches as Jisoo’s gaze turns into misery. “I’m sorry, but I can’t… what you did…”

“I know”, the brunette says simply, with serene defeat, “It’s all my fault, but it will be over. I can only tell you that I’m sorry. I’m terribly sorry. You deserve infinite happiness, and I’m sure you will be gifted with it”.

Chaeyoung feels torn. She hesitates in her pain.

“I’m fucked up, Chae, but you are not. You are pure. You are the best angel I’ve ever met, truly. And it’s fine if you can’t forgive me. It’s fine if you want to leave. I get it. I take it all. I just want to disappear, if that’s what takes for everyone to be happy”.

The blonde lets hot tears reach her chin.

With her ears still ringing, she runs away.

-

Jenine and Lily spend the whole day they have left in the tallest girl’s room.

They kiss, and they cry, and they manage to laugh a little. They feed each other when they feel like eating, they brush each other’s hair after short tickle wars. Lily tells Jenine about some hard dance moves, Jenine reads Lily her favorite passages of her favorite books.

The day passes quickly in their eyes, as days always do when time is supposed to stop.

When the sun becomes golden, the girls don’t notice really, because they are tangled in a passionate kiss with the shutters closed.

Lily lays her body on top of Jenine’s, feeling a new type of electricity running through her body. Jenine tangles her fingers in deep brown, feeling awake everywhere.

When the tallest girl kisses the expanse of her neck, she mewls with abandon. Lily swallows and tries lower, lower. 

She stops at her lover’s bosom and looks up, flushed, buzzing, but unsure still.

Jenine frowns, thinking that she should have brought looser pants.

“Why did you stop?” she asks.

Lily looks back in honest surprise.

“I… do you want me to…?”

Jenine licks her lips, blushing as well, but feeling bolder than ever.

“I want you to be my first”.

Lily chokes on air, feeling a warm wave dilating her pupils.

“Thank you”, she whispers, and nuzzles lower with her nose.

Jenine closes her eyes and feels a rush of relief as her lover helps her off her clothes.

Lily stops only one more time, her mouth pressed against skin as soft as she’s never imagined.

“I want you to be my first, too”, she mumbles. Then, she sucks.

“ _Yes_ ”, Jenine agrees, and moans, and thanks all together.

When the stars begin to expand in the sky, they had been each other’s first, second, third, and forever.

-

Hours later, Lily is crying.

Jenine is crying too.

The tallest girl lets her lover’s hand go.

“I love you”, she mutters.

“I love you, too”, Jenine mutters too.

The car arrives. Faintly, on the radio, a man speaks in a strained voice.

_It will clearly lead to war. If we don’t do something as a nation..._

The girls don’t hear.

“This is for you”, Lily murmurs, and hands Jenine an envelope.

“What’s this?” Jenine asks.

Lily looks at the driver putting her suitcases in the trunk. Then, she focuses on Jenine again.

“There are many things I want to tell you, and… as I have read your notebook, it’s only fair that I give you this”.

The driver motions for her to get in the car.

Jenine nods, confused, and Lily pulls her in in a hug.

“Tell my parents I forgive them. I love you, Nini. I always will”, she sobs.

“I love you too, Lili”, Jenine cries.

Then, Lily pulls away and gets in the car.

She leaves.

-

Jisoo feels a familiar pain extending from her back to her whole body.

She takes it.

Then, she faints.

-

Jenine opens the envelope as soon as she gets home, her eyes still spilling hot tears non-stop.

Her fingertips meet with a known material. Photos.

She takes them out, smiling despite the pain.

The first picture depicts them both, smiling ear-to-ear with eyes dripping sadness. It was taken just the day before.

The following ones are different angles of Jenine’s face, under the light of the sun, under the shadow of a cloud, smiling, serious, trying to look serious. _In the park_ , Jenine thinks, _at Lily’s house, at the school’s backyard_.

There are more pictures of them together, as lovers and as friends, staring at each other deeply, laughing at a bad take, frowning just for the sake of the photo.

Jenine cries and cries, full of love.

Then, a picture of her in the library. She doesn’t remember Lily taking that one. It was even before the period in which they became friends.

Then, another one, and then, another one, all photos Jenine doesn’t remember.

Then, a photograph of her, clearly taking in the distance, with her stomach flat on the grass as she reads a book with a serene expression.

Jenine thinks for a moment.

And then gasps.

They didn’t even know each other by then.

Realization hits her, the fact that they had loved each other for so, so long without even knowing, without even suspecting… 

Jenine cries and curses their destiny with her eyes shut. Then, as her heartbeat becomes normal again, she thanks it.

She thanks destiny because it was absolutely worth it, every second of it. She thanks destiny because she met the love of her life, because she got to pour all the love she felt without restrictions.

Jenine sobs one last time and she lies in her bed surrounded by pictures of her and Lily beaming in joy. She falls asleep, exhausted.

-

Nemamiah finds herself aching against a cold surface. She remains with her eyes open, dead, and the wounds of her back start bleeding again.

She doesn’t move.

Something changes then, the floor, the air, the colors.

A voice fills in the empty space.

Iam intellegis?

“Yes”, the angel answers, “I understand”.

_Quid fecisti?_

“I corrupted souls beyond salvation”.

A moment of dreadful silence follows.

_Quare in Terra?_

“Because I am the reason why those souls can’t be together”.

_Quam?_

Nemamiah swallows.

“Corrupted souls are loveless. They are the cause of the greatest wounds in Earth. They were the cause of Goguryeo soldiers fighting each other and losing the control of their boat. They were the cause of the war Eliza died in”, she stops for a moment, “Jennifer’s husband himself was one of those souls. Then, in 1850, they caused the train accident”.

The angel closes her eyes, her lips trembling.

“They will be the cause of the following war”.

She stays quiet then, silent tears staining her cheeks. She keeps bleeding.

_Vos merentur._

“I do, but they don’t. They are pure souls. They deserve better”, she sobs, unable to control herself, “they deserve to be together!”

She puts the palm of her hands against her eyes, the darkness becoming even darker.

“Please”, she mumbles, “let them be happy!”

She is met with silence.

_Ista pena tua._

“And I will take it. I will take it all. Make me vanish. Let me bleed to the end of existence. Just let them be happy, please”, she rolls on the ground, “Let them all be happy. This is my punishment. They had nothing to do with it”.

She keeps whimpering between words, exhausted.

When she stops crying, she hears nothing, sees nothing.

The wounds ache.

_Aliquis et orate tibi_ , is the last thing the voice says.

_Who? she thinks, who would pray for this rotten soul?_

Then, everything turns black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, just letting you know that it may take me more than a week to write the last Arc. I'm so sorry. Thank you for reading!


	16. Arc VI (1) - Present Time

Nemamiah wakes up from an empty dream slowly. Her head feels heavy, and the remote thought that she has never slept before crosses her mind lethargically. 

She takes a few more deep breaths. As her body becomes less dizzy, she comes to the realization that, for the first time in a long, painful eternity, her body doesn’t hurt.

She is awoken by the thought, and she sits up in the well-known cold surface in a bit of a haste. The pad of her fingers immediately search for her back, and she opens her mouth when she is not meet with the sting of a bleeding wound but with the roughness of a scar.

Nemamiah’s eyes fill with tears of relief. She fears, still. She’s terrified by the next step of her punishment, but the lack of pain makes her feel somehow renewed, with a small light of hope tingling in the middle of her chest once again.

This time, however, it’s different.

Las time, the glimmer of hope was fueled by the weight of her ego, of a false sense of superiority that poisoned her soul from the very core.

Now, all that lightens her heart is humility, forgiveness, acceptation.

Nemamiah puts her hand against her the steady beat on her chest.

Her mind drifts immediately to a soft smile, to dreamy eyes, to a tenderness that she has never encountered before.

_Love_ , Nemamiah thinks.

Her heart swirls, content.

It’s full of love.

Nemamiah closes her eyes, breathing deeply still, despite the void, despite the punishment, despite the maddening silence.

She smiles.

Suddenly, something changes.

The ground shakes, and the atmosphere gets heavier. Nemamiah opens her eyes, honestly surprised. She feels fear shaking her body, but she waits.

A blinding light illuminates everything in a matter of seconds.

Nemamiah blinks, trying to understand.

_Gratulationes_.

Then, she finds herself floating softly, her body transcending the layers of existence not with resent, but with ease.

She sees the colors, the shapes, the mysteries.

She parts her lips as her eyes tear up endlessly.

It’s beautiful.

-

Jisoo lands on Earth with both feet steady on the ground.

She tries to take in her surroundings, her body still shaking with the shock of her beautiful trip.

Once her eyes focus better, she looks at the trees, at the houses, at the people chatting around loudly, their clothing different, their hair different, the gadgets shining their hands different.

Jisoo feels different, too. She appreciates the sunshine caressing her skin as she never did before.

Then, she hears a voice.

She hears a lot of voices, actually, but this one is special. This one makes her heart jump against her chest in sheer excitement.

“Jisoo!”

The brunette turns around to see the Guardian that makes her soul sing running towards her with teary eyes.

Jisoo begins to cry as well, overwhelmed by an embracing feeling of happiness.

Chaeyoung stops suddenly, just some inches apart from the shortest angel’s body, and she needs a moment to breathe.

Meanwhile, Jisoo keeps staring at her in a mixture of tenderness and disbelief. She’s there. She’s truly there.

When the blonde looks back at her, her expression is shaded by worry.

“Jisoo, I’m so sorry, I-”

But Jisoo can’t wait another second.

“Can I hug you, please?”, she asks.

Chaeyoung exhales heavily before wrapping her arms around the brunette, tears still staining her cheeks.

“Jisoo, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry”.

The brunette frowns, but she doesn’t pull away.

“I’m the one who is sorry”.

“No”, Chaeyoung leans back, letting her hands cup Jisoo’s cheeks with absolute care, “I should have supported you, even…”

Jisoo puts her hands on top of the blonde’s. She looks at her with a sad smile tugging her lips.

“No, Chae. It’s okay”, the tallest angel opens her mouth, but the brunette speaks again, “I just… do you want to move on?”

The blonde looks at her in slight confusion, and Jisoo blushes as a giggle tickles in her throat.

“I mean… I feel that we will keep apologizing and I just… I just want to be with you”.

The heat in her cheeks intensifies, and Chaeyoung can only look at her with surprised delight.

She smiles, unable to stop herself, and feels uncharacteristically shy as well.

“Yes”, she musters, finally, “I want to be with you, too”.

Jisoo looks at the floor with a barely contained grin.

“Cool”, she says, and waits a second to gather the strength to look at Chaeyoung again.

The blonde stares back, still smiling, her eyes dripping a fondness that Jisoo is pretty sure she has never seen aimed towards her. She feels as the tallest girl cups her cheeks again, and she lets her own hands fall on Chaeyoung’s waist. When the blonde doesn’t pull away, Jisoo squeezes lightly. The gesture earns her an angelic giggle.

“It tickles, Soo”, Chaeyoung complains, and the brunette is about to tease her further when her eyes catch a well-known human figure walking directly towards her.

Jisoo’s face falls, and the blonde turns around with a frown and a question on the tip of her tongue.

A tall brunette sporting jet-black hair and soft features marches with her head low between a sea of people. Her Vans tap quickly against the grass as she keeps her gaze fixed on the floor, her body language a screaming sorrow.

She passes rapidly besides the shocked angels, being of course completely unaware of their presence. Once that her lean figure becomes smaller, Jisoo snaps out of her stupor.

“Is she...?”

“Lisa”, Chaeyoung states without doubt.

Jisoo snorts.

“You’d think they could come up with subtler names”. 

The blonde giggles, noticing that her hands have moved to rest on Jisoo’s shoulders. She doesn’t pull away.

“It doesn’t matter. They are the last humans”.

The brunette nods, her gaze burning in the tallest angel’s chocolate eyes.

“The last humans”, she agrees, and then she looks at her side again, “I wonder what are their stories now”.

“Let’s find out”, Chaeyoung suggests.

They pull away but intertwine their fingers, and begin to walk following Lisa’s trail.

-

Lisa focuses hard with her blurred eyes to find the keyhole of her dorm room’s door. She needs to hurry up because she knows that her roommate will come back in a few minutes, and as much as she enjoys the girl’s presence, she needs a moment to spill out the sadness caged in her body.

When she finally gets into her room, her legs give out. She cries on the floor then, with a hand pressed against her mouth and her knees pressed against her heart. 

After letting out some sobs, Lisa curses herself. It’s been _days_ already. She should be, at least, staring to move on.

But she can’t. She can’t because the aching hole in right in her chest has not stopped tugging in the slightest, because there’s still pure shame and regret running through her veins, and because she keeps seeing her walking around campus.

Jennie.

Her ex-best-friend for life.

Lisa’s lower lip trembles in misery and frustration.

And she could still be her best friend.

She could still be the one walking side by side with the brunette, delighting in her gummy smile, in her soft giggles, in her mellow voice. She could still be the one the brunette choses to spend her afternoons with, legs and feet brushing against the grass as soft whispers and loud laughter fill in the air.

Lisa could still be happy, honestly, if she just had kept her mouth shut.

She sighs, feeling absolutely defeated, and searches blindly for her cellphone to distract herself with the cutest cat videos that she can find. When she unlocks it, a picture of her and Jennie shines flamboyantly in the home screen.

Lisa pouts again and puts her cell phone away. She can change her wallpaper later.

The brunette decides to stand up, and searches for her sketch book. She purposefully moves past the first pages because she knows she might find her ex-best-friend’s face splattered here and there in all imaginable angles.

But how could she not sketch the most stunning face she has ever seen?

Lisa sniffles then, as tears come back to her eyes, and makes the effort of staring out of the window and tracing soft patterns to resemble the almond tree swinging with the wind.

-

Jennie forces a chuckle out of her throat as one of her university friends half-shouts a poor joke for the whole group.

She keeps walking, her maybe too-expensive shoes echoing on the pavement, and tries very, very had to follow the conversation that seems to be unfolding all around her ears.

She can’t.

Jennie makes an effort again. She plays with the ends of her chocolate locks, and tries to keep her breathing as even as possible.

She fails.

When everyone keeps talking and talking, and her heart keeps beating in a painful rhythm, she stops dead in her tracks, feeling overwhelmed.

Her friends turn around, startled.

“Jennie?”, one of them asks, but the brunette nods quickly, plastering her best smile and commanding her brain to search for any excuse it can muster _right now_.

“I- huh, I forgot I got an assignment for tomorrow”, she says.

Her friends keep looking at her, the previous concern absolutely forgotten.

“Boo, Jennie, really? You have to go?”

The brunette nods, feeling her shoulders already relaxing, and searches for a believable self-pity tone.

“I’m really sorry. Next time?”, she half-asks, and her friends merely gift her a nod and turn around to keep walking to the coffee shop they intended to go to.

Jennie doesn’t mind, really. The space they occupy in their heart is not of great importance, neither.

The brunette closes her eyes and breathes deeply before turning left to rush to her room.

Saying that she feels sad would be an understatement. She feels absolutely _shitty_ , with her temples begging for sleep and her throat tightening more and more with the pressure of unreleased words.

_Stupid Lisa_ , she thinks, and her shoes start to dig on deep, rich grass. Stupid Lisa and her stupid hugs, and her stupid comfort words and her stupid bad joes that she desperately needs right now.

Jennie purses her lips tightly as she spots the door of the room. 

Her mind goes over the previous days meticulously, just as it has been doing again and again almost against her own will.

She’s left without a single answer every time.

_Something went wrong, Jennie thinks, horribly wrong._

But what?

She enters to her single room quickly and closes the door with her back.

_Stupid Lisa_ , she thinks again.

Then, Jennie’s eyes set on the plushie that the tallest girl gifted her for her eighteenth birthday, lying as a sorrowful memory token just on top of her bed. She pouts, unable to stop herself, and looks at the plushie with a stern gaze. A moment later, she hugs it against her chest.

She breaks down in hot tears.

-

“Alright”, Jisoo narrows her eyes, “what the fuck?”

Chaeyoung snorts, and then looks again at a weeping Jennie through her bedroom’s window.

“I have no idea, honestly”, she murmurs.

The brunette puts her hand on her hips, reflecting.

They have tried pushing them together. It didn’t work. They have tried staying back. It didn’t work neither.

There’s an approach, however, that they have never followed.

Jisoo nods to herself, as if trying to find courage, and turns towards the blonde with a determined expression.

“I think that we have to talk to them”.

Chaeyoung looks at her with wide eyes.

“Really?”, she asks.

Jisoo tilts her head at the insecurity laced with her tone.

“You’ve never talked to a human?”

The tallest angel denies with her head, feeling a bit ashamed.

“I’ve never gotten the chance”.

Jisoo smiles reassuringly, grasping her teammate’s hand and squeezing it lightly.

“You’ll do great. I think I could talk to Jennie, since she seems a bit… tougher to break, and Lisa seems to need a lot of emotional support”.

Chaeyoung nods, feeling more secure.

“What should we tell them?”

The brunette thinks for a moment.

“I think that, for now, we should at least get to know what’s going now. Then, we’ll decide what to do”.

The blonde smiles softly, feeling more at ease due to Jisoo’s renewed leadership.

“Alright, captain”, she says.

The brunette looks at her with a startled expression.

“Oh, if it’s okay for you, I mean, we can always-”

“No, I’m just teasing you. I like it when you lead. It’s…” _attractive_ , she thinks, “comforting”.

Jisoo grins back, and, in a sheer impulse, she brings the hand that’s holding Chaeyoung’s closer to her lips to place soft kiss on the blonde’s knuckles.

“Thanks”, she murmurs, her lips still grazing velvety skin, and Chaeyoung feels completely breathless, a furious blush extending through all her face.

“Yeah”, she manages to let out, in a very high pitch.

Jisoo gifts her another smile before falling into a pondering silence.

-

Lisa watches the colors of the sunset as she sits one of the most remote wooden bench of the whole university campus. 

Her eyes fix in the purplish clouds, but her mind is far, far away, tangled in cat-like eyes and the sorrow twirling in her own chest.

She’s tired already, really tired, both because her usual cheerful self is not used to the feeling of absolute helplessness and because she has been sleeping terribly through the whole week.

As the colors get deeper, Lisa lets her forehead rest against her hands. She sighs, and forces herself to think about a particular proposal that she had completely dismissed just a month ago, but now-

“Hi”.

Lisa raises her head startled, her gaze falling on a blonde, gorgeous girl sitting nonchalantly besides her.

“Hi”, she gets out, her voice reflecting surprise and hesitation.

The girl doesn’t seem fazed. She smiles softly, in an almost maternal way that leaves Lisa thinking whether she should feel comforted or absolutely creeped out.

“Tough day?”, the girl asks, and the brunette tries to hide a frown.

It takes her a few seconds to react.

“Yes… it has been… yeah”, she musters. 

The blonde nods and lets a hum fill in the awkward atmosphere, and Lisa shifts slightly in her seat.

“Do you… huh… Do you need something?” she asks then, feeling a bit ashamed of not having offered help before. Maybe the girl is just lost, or new, or sad…

But the blonde merely shakes her head, her grin becoming a bit melancholic.

“No. You just look like you need a friend”.

Lisa stares at the girl in shock. She feels like she should be somehow offended, but she can’t bring herself to do so. The blonde is looking at her with too much open honestly for Lisa to doubt her.

“I… I’m fine, really”.

The girl hums again, as if deep in thought.

A minute of absolute silence passes and Lisa is on the verge of not being able to take it anymore. It’s plain uncomfortable. She has never been a people’s person, really, that has always been Jennie, and Jennie has always been kind enough to respect her spaces and bring her only to places where she knew that her friend would be comfortable.

But now Jennie is not there anymore, so-

“My name is Roseanne”, the girl says suddenly, “I’m majoring in Physics”.

Lisa blinks several times.

“Oh”, is all that she says, but the blonde -Roseanne- is looking at her with an expectant expression, so she finds herself speaking again, “I’m Lisa. I am majoring in Arts”.

The girl seems extremely pleased with the answer, so the brunette feels somehow more relaxed. She doesn’t think that the blonde has bad intentions, really, she’s just… a bit too curious.

“Cool, Lisa. Nice to meet you”.

The girl extends her hand in a greeting gesture and Lisa shakes it, feeling more at ease.

“Nice to meet you too”, she murmurs, and they both fall into a moment of silence again.

The brunette watches with the corner of her eyes at the blonde fixing her gaze to the floor, as in deep thought. She’s cute, really, and nice. She would even be a great friend, Lisa considers.

And her mind, stubborn, drifts to Jennie again.

It’s already kind of late. There is only a faint, bluish reminiscence of the sun mixing with the light of upcoming stars. Lisa thinks that she should be heading home already, even if the idea of doing so without the shortest brunette rambling about her day by her side makes her heart ache.

Without noticing, her expression turns gloomier.

Roseanne, however, does notice.

“You know, Lisa”, she begins, “I know we don’t know each other, but… if there is something truly bothering you, you can just tell me”.

Lisa wonders on the way in which the blonde seems completely unaware about how absolutely odd that would be.

And somehow, the idea comforts her. Roseanne is a complete stranger, which means that she cannot judge her too hard. And if she does, well, that wouldn’t be a great loss for Lisa anyways.

And she desperately, _desperately_ needs to let go some of the deep sadness that seems to be rooting in her chest. She doesn’t have any good, close friend near campus, really, except for… well… her, and she doesn’t want to worry her sensitive parents by telling them about her broken heart.

So, well, the stranger might do.

“It’s… I’m hurt”, she lets out simply.

The blonde smiles with absolute patience.

“I can see that”, she says simply, and Lisa feels prompted to continue.

“I’ve been hurt by somebody that I care about a lot. And I don’t even know if I have the right to be angry because… because I was wrong, too. I overstepped, but…”, her eyes start to get teary, “but I truly tried my best. I tried”.

The blonde looks at a crying Lisa with a look of absolute empathy. As a reflex, she puts her left hand on top of the brunette’s thigh, who is too busy weeping to even notice.

“I’m sorry, Lisa”, she says eventually.

The brunette looks back at her with a sad smile, and her eyes drift to the front again. 

Suddenly, Lisa’s heartbeat quickens. She sees a figure, kind of far away, that looks exactly like Jennie’s. She narrows her eyes in disbelief, thinking that she’s starting to see things, but as the figure gets closer and closer, it resembles her ex-best-friend more and more.

Lisa realizes then, as the girl she’s gazing at stops dead in her tracks looking, probably, towards her direction, that she’s indeed Jennie.

The brunette stands up then, startling the blonde in the process, and turns towards her in a rush.

“Sorry, Roseanne, it was nice to meet you but now I have to go. Thank you”, she bows, “for showing support. Bye!”.

Like that, Lisa is gone, her long legs drawing big steps as she runs to hide in her own dorm room.

Chaeyoung turns around then, and her eyes spot a familiar, shorter brunette staring at her with a stern expression and then turning around to run towards the other side of campus.

A few moments later, Jisoo’s figure appears, her face dripping absolute annoyance. She tops to wave at a smiling Chaeyoung and keeps jogging, trying to follow Jennie’s steps.

-

Jennie takes a break from her running just in front of her own institute.

When she can finally breathe properly, without feeling an unstoppable weigh pulling her heart down, she begins to reflect in her actions, shoving her hands harshly in the pockets of her lab coat.

_What the fuck was that_ , is the first one of her thoughts. _Who the fuck was that girl_ is the next one.

She rubs the palm of her hands against her eyes and sighs loudly.

Is it possible that Lisa found someone to replace her with so quickly?

Of course not, she tells herself, _it’s not like our issue is impossible to tackle_ . 

_Right?_

Jennie truly feels like pouting and stomping her feet against the floor like a child. Instead, she sits on the grass with her legs crossed. The night has already settled completely. 

The moon and the stars decorate the sky beautifully, but Jennie can hardly appreciate them as she still searches for an acceptable breathing pattern.

Besides, the thought of reaching her dorm room alone is… depressing.

She lets out a whine and puts her forehead against her knees, feeling more free to express her emotions due to the lack of students roaming around campus.

Or at least that’s what she thought, really, because as she’s finding the strength to stand up and go home, a raspy voice reaches her ears suddenly.

“Hello”, Jennie hears, and looks up with her eyebrows deeply frowned just to find at a tiny brunette girl staring at her with a hint of politeness.

She’s kind of cute, true, but a stranger still, and Jennie feels immediate apprehension.

“Hi”, she says then, cautiously, “you need something?”

The girl stares at her intently.

“No”, she says slowly, “You just seem like you need to talk to somebody”.

Jennie opens her mouth slightly in disbelief. She tries to keep calm. Maybe the girl is truly trying to be generous.

“I’m alright”, she answers then, “just a bit tired”.

The girl tilts her head and runs her eyes through Jennie’s face as if analyzing her.

“Well… you don’t _seem_ to feel that great”.

Jennie scoffs, unable to stop herself, and gifts the tiny, shameless girl, her most intimidating look.

“And who are _you_ to say that? You don’t even know me!”

The brunette freezes for a moment, and Jennie thinks that she resulted victorious in the absurd contest that was set up by a girl she was never met before.

However, the short brunette remains unfazed.

“I’m Jisoo”, she says simply, then, she hesitates for a second, “and you are...?”

Jennie scoffs again, starting to feel somehow amused.

“Do you think I’ll give my name to any stranger?”

Jisoo’s gaze changes then, and becomes more humorous.

“Well… no. But you are wearing your lab coat, and the shinning tag on it clearly says Jennie, so… I was just trying to be nice”.

The tallest brunette feels her face heating up with slight shame but mostly fierce anger. Truly, what the heck is going on?

“Look, _Jisoo_ , I really don’t you nor your intentions, but-”

“Are you majoring in science?” the girl interrupts.

Jennie feels like pulling her own hair out. It has been a horrible week between tons of papers, and books, and lack of sleep, and excess of coffee, and the absence of… Lisa in general, and now she’s dealing with this.

So, _fuck it_ , she thinks, and gives in only a bit.

“Neuroscience”, she merely says.

When she looks at Jisoo, she is met with brown eyes reflecting something tender, as if the girl was somehow proud of her.

It feels weird, but still… comforting.

But as Jennie looks around, she notices the depth of the darkness in the sky, which is a clear sign that it is most probably way past dinner time.

“Look, I don’t have time to-”

“Why are you sad?”

Jennie grits her teeth.

“Why do you care?”, she spits.

The girl shrugs.

“I do”.

Jennie tries really, _really_ hard to keep it together.

“Well, you shouldn’t”.

“But I do”, the girl answers again.

And Jennie kind of loses it.

“Look, girl, I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with you but I don’t have time to deal with it. I’m going through what could most probably be the worst week of my entire life. I can’t sleep properly, I can’t eat properly, I can’t work properly, and what’s worse, my best friend since I’m sixteen has decided to cut me off of her life without a single reason”, her voice breaks at the end, overwhelmed, and Jennie feels truly ashamed.

However, Jisoo keeps looking at her, now her gaze softer.

“You don’t know why she doesn’t want to talk to you?”

“No”, Jennie sighs, feeling teary, “I have no clue”.

The girl tilts her head up in silence, and then she speaks again.

“Are you guys just friends?”

Jennie frowns, visibly confused.

“Yes. We are- we _were_ best friends. What… I mean, why…?”

The brunette clears her throat and denies with her head.

“I heard wrong”, she simply says. After a moment, she turns towards Jennie, as if trying to make out the correct words, “Maybe you should talk to her”.

Jennie denies. She has tried. She has tried through all possible means, face-to-face, texting, private messages through any app available.

Everything was left answered.

And well, she has seen her around campus after her first attempts, and she could, technically, knock on her door and ask what’s wrong _again_ ,but the absolutely heartbroken way in which Lisa looked at her every time she tried has kept her away.

She might have done something horrible, and she’s truly afraid of finding out _what_ , exactly.

So she stands up, feeling defeated. She takes a glance at the shortest brunette, who is looking at her with an apparently calmed expression.

“Goodbye, Jisoo”, is all she says.

And like that, she begins to walk to her room, alone under a billion lights.

-

Lisa walks around campus convincing herself that the pace is big and crowded enough for there to be almost no chances of her bumping into Jennie.

Her Vans tap against the pavement in an anxious rhythm, and the almost scrunched position of her shoulders make it evident that there is something definitely wrong.

She’s fucking miserable, that’s the issue, but being miserable is one thing and being miserable and failing all her classes is another one. Lisa needs to go to university, no matter if even her favorite classes seem dull under the shadow of her sadness.

She sighs then, still walking quickly, thinking that she needs to pay more attention next time, because half an hour ago she was scolded for completely ignoring the task she was given and depicting just what her heart felt like doing so. In her defense, she didn’t hear the professor demanding for a postmodern interpretation of The Persistence of the Memory, but she did hear the part where he prompted the students to paint from the depth of the heart. Well, Lisa did. That’s why she was somehow offended at her professor’s outraged reaction when he saw her very well-done portrait of woman staring at the side with wild, intense, very familiar looking eyes.

_It is a decent painting, anyways_ , Lisa decides, and turns around the smooth road only to stop dead in her tracks.

Thousands and thousands of students, some walking, some running, some sitting down on the grass and enjoying the last bits of a moderate weather.

And somehow, all her eyes focus on is on Jennie.

There she is, sitting in one of the white benches, the traces of the pale autumn sunlight hitting her face in such a way that all the angles of her features are highlighted perfectly.

Lisa feels that she has to move, _knows_ that she has to move, but she can’t. She can’t, because the absolutely magnetic, enwrapping being that Jennie is makes her feet attach on the floor stubbornly, as her heart orders her again and again to just stay there and… rejoice.

The brunette’s gaze in fixed on a big book with its cover decorated with what Lisa guesses must be brain cells or something equally science-y. Her rich, chocolate hair is shining against the light in a dreamy way, and her whole outfit, tight black jeans and a flowery blouse, makes her look like a whole model. Lisa worries at the back of her mind, as her gaze keeps enchanted in Jennie. The shortest girl might feel cold later if she didn’t bring a jacket, and Lisa can’t accompany home which means that she cannot provide her warmth by pulling her close to her body.

The thought makes her unbelievable sad. Meanwhile, Jennie uncrosses her legs to cross them again, and brings a hand up to put a strand of her hair behind her ear.

Lisa’s heart flutters against her chest. Jennie is so incredibly beautiful, and incredibly smart, and incredibly kind… of course there was no single chance in Earth of Lisa getting her. She’s just a plain girl. Jennie, on the other hand…

The shortest brunette tilts her head lightly as a soft smile begins to spark among her features.

Jennie is the most amazing girl she has ever met. Lisa has been in love with her for so, so long, while watching her giggle, while watching her cry, while watching her get angry without a serious reason, and yet she has never found the right way to just _tell her_.

And now, as she stares at Jennie in her most beautiful moment, as she’s absolutely comfortable doing one of the things she enjoys the most, Lisa thinks that maybe what her ex-best-friend did was not out of lack of empathy, but out of pure compassion.

The tallest girl blinks quickly, trying to keep her tears at bay.

Maybe it’s for the best. Maybe she was meant to take the scholarship she was given and just leave her to be happy with someone else. Happy with _him_.

Lisa gives Jennie a last lingering gaze before turning in her heels with absolute defeat wrapping up around her throat.

She runs home, shedding a few hot tears.

-

Jennie closes her eyes as an attempt to mitigate the constant pounding on her temples. She vaguely waves at the remaining classmates who are too exhausted to continue working, and focuses again to take a glance through the ocular of the microscope.

She gets dizzy as she writes, and the stabbing in her head only gets more prominent.

She decided that it is enough. It’s still a bit earlier than her usual leaving time, but she knows that her tired body is asking for some good rest. Or at least for some _decent_ rest.

Jennie packs up her things then, and turns off the lab’s lights before leaving the place. Just because, really, without any determined motive, she takes the long way home, following a road that makes a very, _very_ random turn that very, _very_ randomly takes her to the front of the Arts institute. 

It’s pointless, anyways, most art students are morning or afternoon people, or at least Lisa told her so, so there are very few possibilities of her casually bumping into the tallest girl.

It’s not like it was her intention in the first place, anyway.

So Jennie walks with decision but keeping her eyes sharp, getting somehow nervous at the sight of a light shining through the window of one of the side classrooms. She swallows, feeling her heartbeat quickening, trying to calm herself down because there would be too much of a coincidence to find Lisa, who only stays in campus until well-settled the night to accompany her home, still working at such time. 

And despite million odds, there she is.

Jennie stops in shock as Lisa’s side figure becomes clearer in her eyes, the tallest girl being illuminated by the light of the sculpture classroom.

The brunette stays still then, unable to move.

The tallest girl, completely unaware of the sharp stare through the window, keeps working with her eyebrows slightly scrunched, and the dimple besides her mouth that only pops out when she’s focused full on display.

_My god, she stunning_ , is all that Jennie can think, her boots firm in their place as her lips part slightly.

She can make out perfectly her ex-best-friend’s side profile, her soft cheekbones, the perfect curve of her nose, her pouty lips, the sharpness of her jaw. The hard and the tender, the apparent and the subtle, everything combines perfectly like the pieces of a puzzle to create the most beautiful face that Jennie has seen in her life.

She has always known that Lisa was gorgeous, of course. She has always been, despite her early attempts to find her own -sometimes questionable- fashion style. Jennie knows that the only reason why Lisa never had tons and tons of people queuing for a chance of a glance was because she was too shy, too introverted, too angelically clueless to even care or notice.

Jennie sucks in a deep breath, and watches as Lisa runs the pad of her fingers through the smooth texture of the clay. She strokes slightly, modeling, creating an image that reminds the shortest brunette to the sculptures that the tallest girl stopped to look at every time they went to museums together. The thought makes Jennie feel a bit sad.

Lisa, unaware, keeps working. She tilts her head to her side, letting her deep black hair caress her jaw. Her apron is quite dirty, but she still looks, at Jennie’s eyes, like an absolute goddess. Lisa bites her lip suddenly, as a sign of deep focus, and pushes with her indents a bit harder, a bit steadier, and the image makes Jennie’s heart leap up without further notice and a blunt blush spread through her cheeks.

The shortest brunette furrows her brows, confused.

Her feelings wave through her body. A faint memory crosses her mind, suddenly, the thought of that weird girl she met a few days ago looking at her in the eyes almost as if knowing something she didn’t know yet.

_Are you guys just friends?_

Jennie’s breath begins to quicken, then, and the haze in her mind wears off enough to make her able to move. She glances at Lisa one more time, almost desperate for an answer.  
When her heart flutters again, she runs away.

-

Lisa puts her hands deeper in the pockets of her artistically torn skinny jeans and stops walking for a moment to enjoy the sunlight caressing the skin on her face.  
It won’t last long. Days have become shorter already, and the sky has become gloomier. The oranges, golden and browns of the trees have started to fall more precipitately, covering the opaque grass with a crunchy mattress. 

It’s beautiful, really, even with the hint of departure that characterizes the sad autumn. Everything seems to be touched by a sepia filter that makes afternoons sometimes long and sometimes the shortest. 

Lisa sighs, letting her heart rest for a moment. Her gaze focuses on the depth of the big red oaks that spread here and there on campus. Her sharp eyes catch how, under the perfect light, the leaves of the tree seem to be engulfed by an on-going fire. Without taking her gaze off the tree, Lisa fishes in her bag until she finds her camera. She takes a deep breath, watches her landscape through the optical, and shoots three times.

She’s so focused on her camera, on her perfect shot, that she doesn’t even pay attention to the sea of voices that seem to approach from her right. She has no reason to, really, there are thousands and thousands of students that walk the same paths at hers every day, and she seldom knows any of them.

Except that, when she’s able to snap out of her artistic trance, and to be more aware of her surroundings, Lisa realizes that, among the thousands and thousands of students, one of the voices that are getting closer and closer is the one of her ex-best-friend.

So she turns around in a haste, and at the sudden sight of the brunette, _so beautiful_ , she absolutely panics, and her panic brings her to proceed probably in the most stupid way ever, which is trying to hide in the shadows provided by the red oaks.

She’s in plain sight and she knows it, but as she turns around half in fear and half in shame, she catches the sight of Jennie completely unaware of her presence, paying close attention, instead, to whatever her tall, red-haired friend is saying.

Lisa sighs, relieved, trying to come up with a way of leaving the place sneakily enough so as not to be noticed. At the same time, Jennie lets out a chuckle, so soft that it almost doesn’t reach the tallest brunette’s ears.

But it does.

Lisa stares at her again. Jennie is talking now, her group of friends, all pretty faces, staring at her with absolute undivided interest. The tallest brunette bites off a sad smile. There is something melancholic but yet beautiful, _prideful_ in seeing Jennie creating a friendly atmosphere almost without any effort, talking with certainty, with ease, with a charm that she seems to emanate and soak everybody else with. 

Whenever she thought about it, and even when she thinks about it now, Lisa doesn’t find any single reason why Jennie would choose to keep hanging out with her after secondary school. Yeah, they were best friends, became best friends with the arbitrariness with which random girls become best friends. They didn’t even have many shared interest or any shared group of friends, but they worked out anyways, chose to stay together anyways. But Lisa didn’t expect, not for a thousand years, not despite the everyday text messages that they used to send each other, Lisa from her hometown and Jennie already living in campus, that the shortest brunette would be waiting for her with open arms a year later.

She asked Jennie about it once, in an insecure murmur. The brunette simply looked at her with eyes shadowed by concern, and answered that she would chose her above anyone else in the world, all with a smooth certainty in her voice that made Lisa’s heart flutter without mercy. 

And now, the tallest brunette thinks as she watches Jennie become suddenly quiet and fix her eyes to the floor, it doesn’t have to be much different. Maybe she still has a chance of winning the brunette’s friendship back, of winning her trust back.

Maybe she can talk to her, explain everything as clear as possible, and ask her if there’s even a slight possibility of things going back to normal, or as normal as they can be, _anything_ to put an end to the drought making her heart smaller and smaller.

So she takes a deep breath, trying to fill herself with bravery, making the effort to convince herself that she indeed can approach Jennie, even when she’s surrounded by her much cooler group of friends.

She emerges from the shadows then, her chest a bit puffed, and Jennie actually sees her and opens her mouth in genuine surprise.

And then, it happens. With a crooked smirk and messy bleached hair, Jennie’s boyfriend, Kangdae, emerges from seemingly nowhere and puts his arm heavily on top of the shortest girl’s shoulder.

Lisa stops dead in her tracks then, as Jennie turns around to look at him with her eyes wide, and she feels the heart she cheered on a few seconds ago breaking in pieces in her chest once again.

The shortest brunette keeps staring at her boyfriend, now mumbling something that Lisa can’t understand, probably a cute nickname, probably a love declaration, probably a request to keep her creepy ex-best-friend away from her. 

The tallest girl feels her eyes filing with tears. A few of Jennie’s friends stare at her with a hint of vague disdain.

Deciding that she has a last shred of self-esteem to protect, Lisa turns around and leaves the scene as quickly and silently as possible.

-

Jennie stares at _that prick_ that she hates with almost every fiber of her being with absolute surprise.

“Hi, Jennie, babe”, Kangdae murmurs with a pathetic grin.

She feels like boiling, really, and has to fight the urge of staring right back at Lisa’s gorgeous figure again because she knows that the tallest girl will feel uncomfortable under the curious gaze of the whole group. 

She needs to be subtle, and she needs to calm herself down because she might end up punching Kangdae straight on the face.

“Get off of me, asshole”, she simply murmurs then, and tries to shrug away from his heavy, uncomfortable embrace.

Her group of friends stare at her in passive astonishment, and Jennie doesn’t even know why none of them are calling him out.

“Come on, babe, you know-”

“What the heck is your problem, dude”, she blurts out then, feeling pure hate rampaging through her whole body.

Kangdae lets go then, and looks at her trying to hide his fear.

Jennie forgets him immediately. Her gaze settles on the red oaks, searching desperately for Lisa.

She’s not there.

“Fuck you, bitch. I can find hundreds of girls better than you”, the boy spits, but Jennie merely gestures vaguely at him, clearly disinterested.

So Kangdae leaves, stomping, and Jennie begins to realize that she might have lost yet another chance.

“Jennie, I thought you guys were dating?” one of her friends murmurs, as the brunette starts to walk away from the group with her eyes narrowed.

She needs to find her. She needs to speak to her.

But if she left…

“Why on Earth you would think that I’d date someone as shitty as him?” she lets out, dripping frustration.

If she left…

“But-”

Jennie doesn’t stay to hear. She walks through the place trying to seem to be nonchalantly returning home. Her gaze, however, is intensely looking for familiar doe eyes.

When she realizes that Lisa has indeed left, Jennie keeps walking home with a soft tremble in her lower lip revealing a contained sob.

If Lisa left, maybe it is because she doesn’t want to talk to her.


	17. Arc VI (2) - Present Time

“I… don’t know what’s going on, really”, Chaeyoung murmurs.

Jisoo nods, equally stunned, sitting on the grass under the endless mattress of stars shinning above.

The blonde is sitting as well, her arms crossed against her chest.

They stay in silence for a while, but the tallest angel breaks it by buffing loudly.

“It just feels as if we haven’t learnt anything, after all this time…”

She feels her eyes tearing up out of pure frustration, but she gets distracted as soft fingers start to caress her thigh in an innocent, comforting manner.

“I’ve learnt something”, Jisoo murmurs.

Chaeyoung lets her shoulders relax, and stares at her with fondness.

“Yeah?”

The brunette smiles softly.

“I’ve learnt that they are truly bounded beyond human limits. I trust in their love. We just need them to find it out”.

Chaeyoung grins, too, and lets her own hand search for Jisoo’s, truly moved.

“I trust them, too. And you. I trust you”.

Jisoo bites the inside of her cheek to bite off a smile but brings their hands up to leave a soft kiss on the blonde’s wrist.

“Thank you”, she whispers.

They keep looking at each other for a moment, melting gazes burning slowly. Chaeyoung scoots closer instinctively, and Jisoo lets her cuddle against her body instinctively, too.

“Honestly, this is one of the best conditions their souls have found themselves in. There is no husband, no unavoidable responsibility, no signs of upcoming wars… this might be it. We just need them to talk to each other”.

The blonde sighs.

“But we’ve tried…”

Jisoo hums lowly. Chaeyoung decides that she wants to hear the sound better, so she lets her head press against her teammate’s chest. In return, the brunette starts to caress her golden locks.

“I know, but we need to try harder. Maybe being a bit less subtle…”

The blonde takes a deep breath, silently appreciating the shortest angel’s scent.

“Yes”, she mumbles, “you are right”.

Jisoo grins at the muffled sound.

The colors of the sky shift slowly, deep black melting with shades of blue in the horizon.

“Chae, can I ask you something?”

Half asleep, the blonde lets a soft sound escape from her pouted mouth.

“Did you pray for me after I told you the truth?”

There is a beat of silence, and Jisoo waits patiently.

“Yes”, the blonde finally lets out, “You deserved it”.

The brunette closes her eyes. A warm, overpowering feeling fills her chest wonderfully. Her heartbeat picks up, and hot tears start to fall from between her eyelashes. 

Chaeyoung leans back at Jisoo’s silence. When realizes that her teammate crying, the blonde holds her small face between her hands.

“What’s wrong?”, she murmurs.

“Nothing is wrong, Chae”, Jisoo answers, then, “you make me happy”.

The blonde smiles widely, teeth in display, and she begins to shed tears as well.

“You make me happy, too, Soo”, she admits.

They hug, both opening their arms to let the other fit right against her chest, inside her heart.

They spend the rest of the sunset feeling grateful for their destiny.

-

Chaeyoung waits for a few more seconds to emerge from between the autumn-kissed trees and walk towards Lisa’s direction as casual as possible.

The brunette is not looking at her, anyways. Her gaze, stern, is fixed to the floor as she hugs her backpack close to her chest. Under her eyes, dark shadows reveal constant lack of sleep, and the slight downwards curve of her plump lips reveals deep sadness.

The blonde’s heart aches a bit the sight. The girls deserve better.

She approaches silently, and speaks only when she’s already some steps before Lisa.

“Hey”, she says, and the brunette fixes her eyes on her quickly but relaxes immediately in a sign of recognition.

“Hey”, Lisa answers then, the blue color of her voice revealing the nature of her feelings.

Chaeyoung smiles sadly at her.

“Can I sit here?”

The brunette looks at the empty space of the bench she’s sitting on and nods once. 

A long silence follows. Lisa seems too tired, too embedded in her own anguish to try for an at least polite conversation. Chaeyoung pities her even more.

“What’s wrong, Lisa?”, she asks, then, in a mellow murmur.

The brunette doesn’t turn around. She keeps staring at the ground with her shoulders scrunched, her lower lip trembling here and there, as if she was able to find strength at times but was completely drained of it at others.

Chaeyoung starts to think that Lisa won’t answer, so her brain begins to work out ways in which she can make the girl open up. She’s about to speak again, but the brunette interrupts her.

“She was very important for me, but not because I was in love with her. She was important for me _before_. I fell in love with her _because_ of that, not the other way around”, she says.

The blonde tilts her head, but remains silent.

“I met her when I was fifteen. We met in a library, actually” she chuckles softly, “Not the typical place for teenagers to meet, but, it happened. She was sitting there, reading something, like, very smart, you know? That was the first thing I thought when I met her. _That girl must be very smart_. And then, immediately after, something like _oh, she’s absolutely gorgeous, too_ ”.

She’s smiling, and Chaeyoung smiles as well.

“I was searching for comics. I absolutely loved Catwoman. I mean, a strong girl in a leather suit? Yeah, count me in”.

The blonde chuckles.

“So I wanted comics, but I had no idea of how a library worked, and I was too shy to ask to the librarian. I basically walked around the same spot for several minutes before I decided to give up. I was sad, you know? And disappointed of myself. I mean it was such a simple, stupid task, and I couldn’t do it”, she makes a pause, as if trying to put her feelings in order, “And then, as I was leaving, she just got closer to me and offered help”.

Lisa runs her fingers through her long hair in a reflexive gesture.

“It might sound silly, but, at that time… I felt like she was a hero, you know? Like, she didn’t have to help me, but she did anyways. And just like that, naturally, be became best friends. My mom transferred me to her high school after I begged her. When I got there, I found out that my friend was like, top three the most popular girl in school, so I was, I don’t know, _scared_. Without a reason, really. She still hung out with me whenever she could. I mean, she could have chosen anybody, but…”.

“She chose you”, Chaeyoung intervenes.

Lisa lets out a soft chuckle before returning to a gloomy expression.

“She was the first person in the world to call me pretty”.

Chaeyoung expression turns to slight surprise.

“Really?”

“Yeah. She told me that I was pretty one day. I think we were trying to, like, put some cheap makeup on, or something like that. She said it like it was nothing, like… like a comment you just _make_. But for me, it was… I mean, I was getting called pretty by this _goddess_. She has always been gorgeous. Always. Her style changed, and of course she got older and more mature, and she got... even more stunning. I-” Lisa’s voice breaks suddenly, “How was I _not_ supposed to fall for her? She… oh, if you knew… the way I _feel_ about her…”

Lisa blinks quickly in a desperate attempt to hide her tears. Instinctively, Chaeyoung starts to caress the brunette’s back up and down.

“But does she know, Lisa? Does she know that you feel that way?”, she asks.

“Yes”. Lisa answers.

Chaeyoung stares at her completely stunned. 

“What?”

“A few days ago, I told her everything I feel for her”.

She starts to cry more loudly, then, and Chaeyoung keeps staring at her in absolute confusion.

“But… what did she say?”

“She didn’t answer. The next day, she started dating this… popular boy here”.

The blonde looks at Lisa silently, her mouth slightly agape as she tries to put her thoughts together.

“But… I don’t understand”.

Lisa keeps crying silently for a few more moments. When she is able to stop, she sighs deeply and stands up.

Chaeyoung follows her with her eyes, still shocked.

“There is not much to understand. She doesn’t love me back”, Lisa simply says.

The blonde tries to come up with the words to articulate the idea that there is not a single chance of Jennie not loving her. But that would be giving too much away.

“I-”

“Thank you, Roseanne. I don’t know why you are so determined in helping me but… thanks”, Lisa murmurs, “And you made me realize… that there are things that cannot be changed”.

Chaeyoung stands up in a haste.

“But, Lisa, I think-”

“Thank you”, the brunette murmurs.

She wraps Chaeyoung up in a quick hug and leaves the place in a steady walk, her dark hair almost bluish under the light of the afternoon.

The angel sits on the bench heavily with her eyebrows furrowed.

_What is going on?_

-

Jennie digs her hands deeper in the pockets of her jeans and sighs.

It’s late. And it’s cold.

She has just finished with a long, tiring study session of the type that cannot be carried out at home, but needs the silent atmosphere of the often empty library to unfold nicely.

At the moment, only an already half-asleep librarian is making Jennie company, but the brunette is strangely glad to be alone, anyways. She has been pulling off so many fake smiles that her cheeks are starting to feel plastic. 

She sighs, then, and moves towards the front door lethargically. She wants to go home, true, but she doesn’t want to go through the process that implies going home. She will have to walk alone, avoiding the stars in the sky because they remind her of Lisa making up constellations to make her laugh, and put her own arms around her body, because Lisa won’t be there to hug her close to her chest, and choose uncomfortably wide steps and keep her head low, because only Lisa’s sunny presence makes her feel safe.

_Are you guys just friends?_

_Of course_ , Jennie thinks. _Of course we are just friends._

_Were._

_No, are._

She bites her lower lip as she takes a look at the section of piled books called _Librarian’s recommendation_ , which she’s pretty sure consists of a series of works the old woman grasps randomly as she listens to a cooking podcast with her earphones.

Jennie reads the titles already smiling.

_The Three Korean Kingdoms: Goguryeo, Baekje, and Sillia_. Just besides, _The Korean Struggle (1592)_.

_History, pretty consistent_ , Jennie thinks.

_The Most Beautiful Paintings of the 18th Century._

The brunette reaches for it, but decides that she has too many university projects piled up to get engaged in a book. Maybe later.

_Loving Through Words._

A cheesy romantic novel. Jennie is slightly amused.

_Follow Your Dreams._

_One of those creepy self-help books_ , Jennie thinks finally. _How did she come up with such a weird mix? She truly has to choose them randomly_.

However, the brunette keeps her eyes fixed to the works, confused at the way her stomach tickles. There is something there, _something_.

Her eyes catch on the last piece.

She gasps.

A Catwoman comic.

Memories hit her in waves, and, with her hands shaking and her eyes tearing up, Jennie takes the comic in her hand.

-

Jennie is sitting on one of the benches outside the library, the indeed starry night indeed very cold.

With her eyes fixed in colorful rectangles, the brunette is tearing up silently. She shivers, here and there, out of cold and out of pain, but keeps reading, as if the pages depicting a leather-covered hero could give her the key to understand her ex-best-friend’s heart.

She doesn’t understand. She doesn’t understand what she did wrong.

“Must be a terrible comic to make you weep like that”.

Jennie turns around to look at the familiar face she wanted to punch just a few days ago.

“Oh my god, you are back”, she simply mumbles, between sniffles.

She’s aware that she doesn’t sound intimidating at all.

Jisoo merely smiles, taking a seat beside her.

“I didn’t invite you”.

“I invited myself. This is a free land”, the shortest girl answers.

Jennie is too sad to be mad. She takes a look at the comic again, feeling defeated.

“I didn’t take you for a comic girl”, Jisoo murmurs.

The tallest brunette closes her eyes and takes a deep breath.

“I am not”.

Jisoo hums.

“So, is _she_?”

Jennie bites her lip to stop herself from pouting.

“Yes. She is”, she answers then.

Both brunettes remain in a somewhat comfortable silence. Jisoo tries to come up with an actually effective way of approaching the brunette. Jennie’s mind, on the other hand, is gifting her images here and there, of a library, a young, tall girl with a plain confused face wondering around the shelves, doe eyes, a cute smile…

“We met because of comics, actually”, she lets out.

Jisoo shifts in her seat, trying to make her interest seem subtle.

“Yes?”

Jennie nods.

“She wanted to borrow some at the library I used to go to. She came in and spent good twenty minutes looking in the wrong section”.

Jisoo lets out a humorous sound.

“She looked so lost… So I got up and helped her. It was something silly. I just told her where to find the comic section, but she looked so happy. There was something about her… I don’t know. I just wanted to spend more time with her, so I kept talking. She was shy at the beginning, but then she started to ramble about superheroes with the brightest eyes I’ve ever seen in my life. I remember…” Jennie’s voice breaks with the strength of an emotion, “She called me _smart_ ”.

Jisoo waits in silence.

“I told her that I only visited the library because I liked the silence, but she insisted. She was completely sure that I was some sort of genius and I was like… I don’t even get good grades, what are you talking about?”

“You were not called smart often?” the shortest brunette intervenes.

Jennie shrugs lightly.

“When I told my parents that I wanted to be a neuroscientist, they recommended me to take a _lighter_ course”.

Jisoo tilts her head, slightly confused.

“You look pretty smart to me”.

Jennie makes a dismissive gesture with her hand.

“I’ve gotten older. When I was younger I was… a classic cheerleader. Average grades, constant parties, a lot of boyfriends... I mean, it’s completely okay if that’s what the path you want to follow, but for me… I don’t know. It felt forced, you know? Like I spent years building this _person_ and then I realized that she wasn’t me. I couldn’t let that out. My group of friends wouldn’t had been able to get it; I guess”.

“But Lisa did”, Jisoo mumbles.

Jennie closes her eyes tight, her lower lip trembling slightly.

“Always. I took her into my life and promised to never let her go”.

The shortest brunette shifts in her place.

“Then, what happened?”

There is a moment of silence, still, tense.

“I don’t know”, Jennie states finally, her voice breaking into a sob.

“But… there’s got to be something”, Jisoo tries.

Jennie begins to cry even louder. As an attempt to calm her down, Jisoo puts her hand on top of her shoulder.

“No!”, the tallest brunette insists, “She just… one day we hung out. We had a sleepover. We hadn’t been spending a lot of time together because I was busy all the time and I guess… She could have been mad because of _that_ , but the sleepover was good. She was fidgeting a lot, but that’s… sometimes she has some stuff in her mind and needs some time to tell me, so I waited. I ended up dozing off at the sound of her voice and when I woke up, she was already different”, Jennie takes short breaths between sobs, and Jisoo squeezes her shoulder lightly, “And then, she just… cut me off of her life. A simple as that”.

She puts her hands in front of her face, still crying, and Jisoo stares at her broken figure with her heart aching and her mind racing.

_What the hell?_

“I miss her”, Jennie murmurs, “I miss her so much it’s… Should I miss her this much…? Is this…?” 

She catches herself in the middle of the speech. 

Jisoo merely stares at her with all the patience she can muster.

Just like that, Jennie stands up.

“I need to go”.

Jisoo stands up as well.

“Do you want me to walk you to your house?”

“No, no”, she rubs her knuckles against her cheeks, desperate to wipe her tears off. They keep falling. “I can do it on my own”.

She begins to walk away then, going for those uncharacteristically long steps that she hates so much.

After a few meters, however, she stops and turns around.

Jisoo looks at her with a stunned expression.

“Thank you, Jisoo”, she says, and begins to walk towards her home once again.

The shot brunette is left alone before she can register it.

With her mind swirling around more questions than answers, she lets her body fall against the back of the bench.

“Fuck”.

-

Chaeyoung walks around campus until she finds a distressed-looking Jisoo leaning against an old white bench.

“Hey, how did it go?” she asks.

The brunette gives her a look that reflects her thoughts.

“Like shit”, she says, anyways, just to clarify.

Chaeyoung sits on the bench as well, too worried to find humor in the comment.

“She didn’t want to tell you?”, she asks instead.

Jisoo leans forwards, shifting in her place, letting her gaze fall in the blonde’s.

“She says that she doesn’t know. As simple as that. She has no idea why Lisa stopped talking to her”.

Chaeyoung thinks for a moment.

“Do you think that she’s lying?”

Jisoo shrugs.

“Why would she?”

A moment of deep silence follows.

“They need to talk to each other”, Jisoo murmurs.

“Yeah, Soo, we keep saying that, but when? They keep… running away”.

Jisoo sighs and brings the pad of her fingers to her temples to rub them gently.

“I don’t know, Chae. I’m just afraid of scarring them off”.

The brunette looks at her teammate with her eyes softened.

“I know”, she murmurs, and puts the palm of her hand on top of Jisoo’s thigh, “I’m sorry. I’m just worried”.

The shortest angel lets her gaze fall calmer in Chaeyoung, a soft, encouraging smile appearing in her face.

“I know, Chae. I know what happened in the past. But this time is different. This time, none of them is going anywhere.

The blonde manages to show a light grin.

“Yeah…”, she says.

Jisoo keeps staring at her, pondering. Then, she lets her hand sneak to her teammate’s waist. 

Chaeyoung’s breath hitches a bit, and her eyes widen as she sees the brunette getting closer and closer.

“Chae…”, Jisoo murmurs.

The tallest girl swallows.

“Yeah?”

Jisoo stops inches away from her face. 

Suddenly, her expression shifts. A big, teasing smile appears in her face as she squeezes Chaeyoung’s waist repeatedly. In reaction, the blonde squirms and starts to laugh loudly.

“Are you ticklish, beautiful?” Jisoo asks.

Chaeyoung keeps laughing for a while, trying pointlessly to escape from Jisoo’s teasing fingers.

When she decides that it was enough, the shortest girl lets the blonde go, still smiling.

Chaeyoung pretends to be mad for long three seconds before breaking into a coy giggle.

They look at each other, eyes fixing in ethereal features.

“It will be okay”, Jisoo whispers, then.

Chaeyoung scoots closer to the shortest girl’s body. They cuddle.

“I know”, the blonde answers.

Their gazes fix in the depth of the sunset.

-

Lisa lays down in her bed in complete silence, her gloomy gaze fixed to the white ceiling.

In contrast with the still silence of her room, her mind is a turmoil of voices, speaking louder, speaking softer, laughing, saying sorry.

She’s back at her parent’s house, her hair brownish and her cheeks wet.

_Lis, what’s going on?_

She hides from her friend, embarrassed. Then, when she feels delicate arms wrapping around her neck, she tells her everything.

_What? He’s obviously trying to make you sad, Lis. Don’t listen to him. You are beautiful. You are so beautiful._

Lisa’s tears become happy. 

Then, she’s back at high school, her hands quickly working on her locker, trying to ignore the nasty comments spat in her ear.

_Hey, new girl, why don’t you go back-?_

Suddenly, a familiar, velvety voice echoes in the hall as a lean arm hugs her waist.

_Mind your fucking business._

Lisa turns around to find cat-like eyes glaring at the side. With a change of color, with the softness of cotton, they burn into hers.

_Let’s go, Lis. Let me show you the school._

Then, Lisa is back to her grandparent’s house.

She’s trying not to cry.

_You can leave. I’m just being weak. Go to your date, please._

She’s squeezing the necklace that her grandmother left her tight in her hand.

_You are not being weak. And I’m staying. There is no one more important than you._

She lets the tears fall, finally, in long, deep sobs. She feels the comfort of a warm body and soft words in her ear that finally put her to sleep.

Then, she’s back to a sunny, warm day. Cat eyes are staring at her too brightly. 

Her own chest feels empty.

_I’m going to miss you._

The palm of a hand presses against her cheekbone.

_I’m going to miss you too, Lis._

She feels like crying, but she tries not to.

_Don’t forget me, please._

She hears a gasp. Then, a thumb begins to trace patterns on her cheek.

_I won’t have the time. You’ll be with me in a just year._

She nods, a few tears escaping without permission.

_I hope._

The gorgeous face inches away from hers breaks into a wide smile.

Then, Lisa is taken back a few weeks ago.

The faint light of the moon is entering through the window of the room, creating a cozy atmosphere. However, she can’t be calm. Her heart is running too quickly and the palms of her hands are too sweaty.

She’s rambling, trying to go around the topic again and again. She shifts and shifts, and her mind switches between going to all her favorite and all her worst places.

She hearts a soft breathing, waiting, and feels that her heart might burst if she doesn’t let it go.

_I love you, Jennie. I’m in love with you._

A dreadful silence follows.

She feels like crying.

_Jen?_

Another moment of silence, so Lisa thinks that maybe-

_Yes?_

Her heart breaks in a million of lost pieces.

Lisa stands up then, in the comfort of her silent room, fresh tears reaching her chin.

She looks at the half-made suitcase on the floor and the pang in her chest makes her swallow shattered sob.

She opens her shared closet and takes all her remaining clothes to finally finish packing.

-

“Oh my, please tell me that she’s not-”

“Fuck!”

Chaeyoung turns around to look at Jisoo with wide eyes.

“What now?”

The brunette purses her lips tightly.

“We probably have some days left”.

The blonde exhales in desperation.

“Yeah, but…”

“We need to convince them. Not going around the topic. Just convince them”.

Chaeyoung swallows thickly.

“Okay”, she says.

She fixes her gaze to the floor, quite troubled.

Jisoo holds the tallest girl’s chin with utmost care and lifts it so their eyes can meet.

“We will succeed, Chae”.

The blonde feels an impulse tugging from the bottom her heart. She tries to ignore it.

“Yeah”, she murmurs clumsily instead.

Jisoo looks at her with a confused expression but then smiles in reassurance.

They need to get it right.

-

Jennie sits on the grass just at the back of the lab building with her hands caressing her own thighs.

Winter has already settled. The sunlight is not strong enough to mild the harshness of the night, so the brunette, under the fluffier coat she could find in her closet, is still trembling here and there.

It’s not bothering her too much, yet. She likes the cold, the stillness of the winter nights. Above her, million starts describe patterns that she tries to convert into figures, just as Lisa would do.

She can’t. 

Jennie tilts her head up.

She lets her mind do something that she has been profusely avoiding for days: think about Lisa, about her expressive eyes, her cute nose, her big smile. She closes her eyes and the memory of a low voice fills in her heart, then a giggle, then a nightly whisper.

Jennie’s heart flutters and flutters, both in pain and in this unspoken feeling that has been poking in her chest since the first time Lisa held her in her arms.

That little swirl, that feeling of slight adrenaline and incredible warmth that she has been searching in about every single boy she has ever dated.

But it was never there, never. Not even when the shitty dates were less shitty. Not even when the boy bought her something that she actually liked, or opened the door for her as she secretly wished. No. Whenever she craved for that feeling, for that moment of joy, she knocked on Lisa’s door and waited for her mere figure to send a happy shock to her chest.

Jennie bites her lower lip.

It’s so clear that it frightens her.

“Hey, Jennie”.

She looks at her side almost unsurprised to find that nagging stranger sitting by her side. This time, however, the girl’s pretty face seems shadowed by an unsettling feeling.

“Are you alright?”, she asks then.

Jisoo looks at her with a smile, but twitches uncomfortably in her place.

“Yes. I should be the one asking that, though”.

Jennie shrugs.

“I’m trying”.

“Look Jennie, huh… I really think that you should talk to her”.

The tallest brunette raises her eyebrows in a mixture of surprise and annoyance.

“I told you that she doesn’t want to”.

Jisoo clasps her hands together as if trying to keep herself calm.

“But she can’t avoid you if you go to her room, right?”

Jennie makes an unpleased sound with her mouth.

“And what would I tell her? I’m sorry for something I’m not even aware of?”

“Well, you could start by _asking her_ ”, Jisoo argues.

Jennie frowns, clearly getting irritated.

“You are saying it as if it was easy”.

“I’m not saying it’s easy, I’m saying that you have to”.

The brunette scoffs loudly.

“Why do you even care?”

“Because I do, damn it!”, Jisoo answers.

The harshness of her tone makes Jennie flinch slightly. Then, she stands up, visibly offended.

“I don’t know who the fuck-”

“Don’t you get it, Jennie? You are running out of time!”

Jisoo stands up too, exasperated. 

“What do you even mean…?”

“Lisa is leaving”, Jisoo says. Her voice echoes in the emptiness of the dark night.

Jennie is left in a stunned silence for a moment.

“What!? Wait, how do you know…”

“She transferred to another university. I don’t know when she’s leaving exactly, but I’m sure that she’s leaving soon”.

Jennie feels her chest tightening. Her stomach burns with a nauseous tug.

“You are lying. There is no way… She wouldn’t”.

She’s speaking desperately now, between short gasps.

“I have no reason to lie, Jennie. If I could, I would make this whole thing way easier for both of us. I swear”.

Jennie stares at the girl with sock plain in her face.

“But I can tell you one thing. What you got with Lisa? You won’t get that ever again. Not in this life, not in the next one. What you two have is _special_ , and you both would be damn idiots if you let each other go again”.

Something goes through the brunette’s mind, mixed images of places she’s never been at, of feelings she’s never got to experience. As if memories, the images twirl around, and they change, and Jennie feels her heart hammering against her chest as her mind goes back to Lisa, always, _always_ back to her.

Then, Jennie realizes.

“I’m in love with her”, she murmurs, staring blankly at a slightly scared Jisoo.

“Alright, now-”

Jennie blinks, snapping out of her spell.

“I need to look for her”, she says, and her eyes look around frantically, trying to decide.

Jisoo can only stare at her with a concerned expression.

At the end, with her eyes shining like never before, Jennie decides.

“I need to look for her”, she murmurs simply, and turning around with her feet, she starts a race towards a place Jisoo is unaware of.

The angel is left standing alone, wondering if she did the right thing. As a faint thank you shouted by an already far away Jennie reaches her ears, she nods.

She did what felt right.

-

Lisa stands with her hands on her hips, staring at her closed suitcase with a heartbroken resigned expression.

She’s almost starting to regret it. Almost. But the gaping hole in her chest that has been poisoning her thoughts for weeks keeps working tirelessly.

She can’t stay. She’s a burden for Jennie and a burden for her own artistic development. She needs to go far away enough to finish bleeding all her pain out without Jennie’s face reminding her of the disgusting, unreliable, betrayer friend she is.

Once she’s better… well…

Maybe she can find Jennie again. Maybe five years later, when both of them had graduated, they can meet jut by casualty in a random street in Paris, –Jennie has always wanted to go there; Lisa thinks she’d like it too- and be surprised to see each other, and catch up, and maybe then, between a conversation and the other…

Lisa’s scenario vanishes as she hears a hesitant knocking on her door. She frowns and stares at the clock with an expression of disbelief. 

Two am.

She has to leave to the airport in just an hour.

She’s quite scared actually, especially when the knocking becomes louder. Breathing deeply, Lisa opens the door only slightly, closing her hand in a fist behind her back.

The figure that she finds behind the door makes her raise her eyebrows in pure surprise.

Roseanne.

“Hi”, the tallest girl greets in a rush. She seems both relieved and incredible anxious.

Lisa blinks.

“How do you know where I live?”

The girl opens her eyes, visibly taken aback.

“Oh, huh, I asked”.

The brunette sighs then, unwilling to keep digging in the girl’s true intentions. She doesn’t have the time, really. In two hours, she will be flying away.

“What do you want?”, she asks, then, feeling somehow exhausted. Remembering basic manners, Lisa lets Roseanne enter in her small dorm.

The blonde eyes the suitcase and then the two beds at the side of opposite walls.

“Your roommate?”, she murmurs.

Lisa looks at the girl with renewed curiosity.

“At her boyfriend’s. She said goodbye this evening and left so I could be more comfortable”.

The blonde looks at her clearly more alarmed, her coffee eyes blown and her shoulders back to a tense position.

“Are you leaving soon?”

Lisa swallows, and rests her body on one foot and then on the other, feeling a nervous wave crashing against her body.

“In an hour”.

A moment of unbearable silence follows, the blonde looking at her with desperation dripping in her eyes, and Lisa feels confused and helpless.

“Look, Roseanne-”

“Lisa, you need to talk to her”.

The brunette is taken aback, her body even flinching backwards.

“No”.

The blonde takes a step closer to her.

“Yes, Lisa-”

“And what am I supposed to tell her?”, Lisa blurts out, feeling cornered, “I’m sorry I was stupid enough to fall in love with you knowing that I had no chance? I’m sorry that I confessed knowing that I could make you uncomfortable and ruin everything”? 

She feels like crying, but she can’t cry anymore. She’s tired, so, so tired.

“No”, the blonde answers, trying to stay calm, “you are supposed to ask her why she didn’t answer”.

Lisa puts the palm of her hands against her eyes.

“Isn’t it obvious?”

The tallest girl glances at the clock. It tickles with a doomed sound.

She thinks deeply, hoping to find the words she needs.

“How long have you been around Jennie?”

Lisa stares at her blankly.

“What?”

“How long have you been around Jennie, Lisa? Years?”

The brunette actually considers the question for a second.

“Eight years. Wait, how do you know her name?”

Lisa gets only more and more confused, the pieces of the endless puzzle never coming together smoothly.

Meanwhile, the blonde tries to hold in a snicker.

_Eight years. Yeah, I would say a bit more._

“And after eight years of being her friend, you truly think that she would purposely hurt you?”

The brunette is taken aback again.

“No”, she mumbles instinctively, “But, I mean, it’s different…”

“You have been side by side for eight years, and now you are going to leave just like that, without an answer? Do you think she’d feel happy, Lisa?”

The girl stares at the blonde with her mouth agape, guilt and shame blooming in her heart and spreading quickly through her body.

“I know what you are trying to do, Lisa, but please, think about it for a moment. Don’t you want at least to say goodbye? To hug her one more time? What Jennie and you have… is different. It’s _special_. It’s not something that can ever be broken beyond repair”.

Lisa’s breaths become more ragged, her body buzzing with the need to follow her heart.

“But how do you _know_? Who are you?”

“I _see_ you, Lisa. Both you and Jennie. You are meant to be”.

She stops herself, feeling that she went too far. Lisa stares at her with an unreadable expression.

“As friends”, she murmurs.

The blonde blinks, trying not to reveal pure exasperation.

“Yeah, I-”

“Fuck”, Lisa mumbles. She looks at the clock. Half an hour. “Fuck! I got to go” She looks at the tallest girl with an urgent expression, and the blonde doesn’t have any other option than to flee out of the room with Lisa stepping on her ankles.

The brunette doesn’t let herself gather a moment to breath. Just as she’s out of the room, her soft features dripping determination, she begins to run.

“Thank you, Roseanne!”, she lets out in a loud shout, and Chaeyoung can only stare at her retreating figure dizzily.

When she’s completely left alone, she lets her gaze fix on the sky.

_Please_ , she thinks, _please, let them find each other_.

The stars twinkle back at her as if winking.

-

So Jennie runs, her eyes brighter that the moon itself, the sides of her stomach burning in exhaustion, her mind twirling around her only one again, and again, and again. In the cold night, her quick breaths draw puffs of white mist in the emptiness of the night.

She moves through grass, and dirt, and pavement, trying to reach Lisa’s room as quick as possible, begging for her not to be gone already. 

But as she reaches the building, she’s surprised to find a tall, feminine figure that she has definitely seen before looking distressed, gesturing with her hands as she talks to a clearly shorter girl.

The tall one, Jennie recognizes, is the girl that Lisa was talking to that day in campus. The other one, to her utter surprise, is Jisoo.

Jennie stops in her tracks, absolutely dumbfounded. There is no single way in which the brunette could have reached Lisa’s room quicker than her.

When both girls finally notice her panting figure at the distance, is the blonde the one who speaks.

“She left!”

Jennie feels pure fear crawling up her throat.

“She’s looking for you!”, the girl clarifies, and Jennie can breathe again.

“Where?”

She can’t think about the absolute madness of the situation. She’s thinking about something a million times more important.

“I don’t know!” the girl says.

Jennie takes a moment to think and to find strength again.

When she has her answer, she resumes her running.

-

Lisa takes the biggest steps her long legs can take as she races through the pavement. There is almost nobody around. The light of the old-fashioned lanterns that illuminate the road seem especially misty in the freezing night, and they give Lisa a sense of absolute urgency.

She needs to be at the airport in, like, twenty minutes, and if she doesn’t have enough time…

Her heart huts against her chest. She’s tired, both because of the run and because there are overwhelming feelings that she can’t take anymore. So when she reaches Jennie’s room, she knocks on the door without hesitation. 

Lisa waits for Jennie’s answer with her emotions waving through her body, making her fingertips tickle.

She’s terribly afraid, true, but she misses her so, so much, that even a glance at her face, a single word could make it feel that it wasn’t all pointless. She could leave with a heart half-full, and she’ll take it. She’ll take anything but the nagging uncertainty that poisons her soul.

But nothing happens.

She knocks on the door again, louder, and even shouts Jennie’s name in sheer desperation.

It crosses through her mind that Jennie must be sick of her, or at her friend’s room, or at her boyfriend’s room…

So she starts to cry, with the bitter hopelessness born out of pure disappointment. There is nothing there for her. It’s the end of their story, and it wasn’t mean to be a happy one.

Lisa walks back to her room dragging her feet against the grass.

It’s so unfair-

There is a moment of sudden rage.

_So unfair, so unfair, we never get it right._

She stops, feeling dizzy, foreign images crossing through her mind, a throne, and men lying on the dirt, and brushes, and letters, and a scenario…

She is left frozen to the ground, staring ahead, different versions of Jennie’s gentle voice caressing her ear, _I love you Lis, I love you, I love you so much, please, come back, please don’t leave me, love, I…_

“Lisa!”

When she snaps out of her trance, Lisa turns around to follow the mellow voice. Far in the distance, the very-real Jennie is running towards her.

As an impulse, fueled by raw love, Lisa runs towards her, too.


	18. Arc VI (3) - Present Time

Jennie doesn’t stop running. She doesn’t stop running when she spots Lisa on the way towards her dorm, or when the tall girl runs towards her too, or when finds her just inches away from her body. She doesn’t stop until she has the girl between her arms, her own soft hands tangling in deep black as she feels Lisa’s hands squeezing her waist tight.

It’s a frantic moment, a big contrast against the still, freezing night, but it doesn’t matter really, because Jennie feels warm all over, from the tears that reach her chin to her toes curling in happiness.

Lisa cries too, silently, overwhelmed by a joy that she knows it is almost poisonous, but so lovely, so _good_ as Jennie’s body presses against hers, that she has no will to stop it from spreading.

So they hug for a few moments, panting, and as all their contained feelings begin to pour, Jennie can’t help but to push herself away from Lisa, feeling hurt allover.

“Were you seriously going to leave me without saying goodbye?”

Lisa tries to swallow her guilt, but fails.

“I’m sorry, Jen”, she lets out.

The shortest brunette keeps tearing up.

“But why, Lisa? After all we went through… why would you do this to me?”

The tallest girl sobs.

“Because I felt embarrassed, and sad, and angry, and I didn’t know… I still don’t know how to deal with it”.

Jennie rubs her knuckles against her cheeks hastily.

“But what’s _it_ , Lisa, what happened?”

The tallest brunette seems deeply hurt.

“You… you ignored me, and then… started dating Kangdae”.

“What?!”, Jennie feels pure anger making her body shake, “All of this is because of _him_? You stopped talking to me because you thought I was dating him?”

Lisa stares at her almost pleadingly.

“No, Jen-” 

“Fuck, Lisa, if I knew you fancied the guy I would have told him. We are not dating, by the way. That sick son of a bitch decided to spread a ridiculous rumor, apparently. I cannot even point out what single feature of her selfish self could be appealing to you”.

She was harsh, but she can’t help it. Her face is heated by rage and a tad of jealousy that she doesn’t want to admit.

Lisa keeps looking at her as if she tore her heart out of her chest.

“What are you talking about, Jennie? I’m in love with _you_ , you know that”, she shouts, feeling helpless, a shameful blush extending from her cheeks to her neck. She expected not having to say that out loud ever again.

Jennie stares at her in silence, then, her previously angry features now painted in absolute shock. Her lips are parted, and her cat-like eyes are wide. 

Lisa stares at her mildly confused.

“ _What?_ ”, the shortest brunette murmurs finally, her chest beginning to twirl beyond control.

“Jennie, please, don’t make me say it again”, she pleads, “I told you…I-”

The brunette takes a step closer to Lisa, their bodies close enough to feel each other’s heat.

“When?” she asks dumbfounded.

The tallest girl’s heart hammers without mercy.

“The last time we were together… at the sleepover. We were chatting in the dark and I just… but you heard me, Jen, please, don’t lie to me. I don’t feel like hiding my feelings anymore. I know you don’t-”

“I dozed off”, Jennie says simply. Her gaze looks for Lisa’s frantically, glinting under the pale light of the moon, “You were talking and I was so tired, I had been working the whole day, and I dozed off”.

Lisa stares at the shortest girl with her lips parted and her eyebrows furrowed.

“But… but you answered me! I said your name and you answered”.

“I woke up when you said my name. I didn’t want to tell you that I fell asleep because I was so busy all the time that week, and I kept turning down all your invitations, and the day we finally got together and you told me something important, I fell asleep through it. I felt terribly, so I played it off. I didn’t know… Lisa, I _swear_ I didn’t know…”

Her voice carries off, and, in a powerful hit, she suddenly understands all the pain locked in Lisa’s eyes. It must have been _awful_.

They are both tanged in a turmoil of emotions as they look at each other silently, each piece finally falling in its perfect place, in a puzzle that leaves them both absolutely stunned.

When Lisa is able to grasp most of the picture, she begins to cry again.

“Fuck!”, she says and she covers her face with her hands.

She fucked up, not once, but twice. She had her second change. She could have preserved the relationship she built with the shortest girl. But now…

Jennie snaps out of her shock when she hears the tallest girl cry. She frowns, feeling absolutely moved, and, with utmost care, she takes Lisa’s hands away from her face and replaces them with her own palms.

The tallest brunette can only stare at her with a regretful expression.

“Hey”, Jennie whispers, “Hey, baby, don’t cry. Please”.

Lisa sniffs.

“I’m sorry, Jen. I’m sorry”.

The shortest girl’s expression changes. Her eyes grow darker, more determined, as she finally lets her feelings take over completely.

“I’m not”, she says then, and Lisa looks at her surprised.

“What-?”

“Fuck, Lisa, I’m so in love with you that it burns”.

The tallest girl’s eyes open in sheer surprise.

 _She looks so stunning_ , Jennie can’t help but to think, the moonlight reflected in doe, coffee eyes, making the curve of her nose stand proudly, her plump lips shinning as they part.

She feels untied, now that her the tug of her emotions decides what to do. So Jennie tiptoes slightly, and angles Lisa’s head downwards as gently as she can.

The tallest girl doesn’t offer resistance. She seems absolutely charmed.

When their lips are an inch apart, Jennie waits, taking a deep breath.

“Can I kiss you, please?”, she asks shakily.

Lisa’s heart doesn’t allow her to overthink.

“Yes”, she answers, already intoxicated by the delight of Jennie’s perfume, “yes”, she repeats, and they don’t wait for another moment.

Their lips seal in a heated kiss. They have no time to take it slow, really, too willing to catch on with their unlocked aching, an uncontrollable warmth spreading through her bodies as they try to recover their stolen breaths between spare pauses. Jennie tries to manage the rhythm at the beginning, constantly looking for angles that would make her toes curl even _more_ , but it all changes when one of Lisa’s hand sneaks around her waist and the other one tangles with her long, chocolate hair. Completely delighted, the shortest brunette has no other choice than to melt against Lisa, her arms thrown on her shoulders with abandon. 

When they finally pull away, after a period of time unmeasurable for any of them, they are both panting and profusely flushed. They stay in silence for a moment, hyperaware, trying to find some sense in their hazy minds.

“Wow”, Lisa mumbles, then, and Jennie can’t help but to giggle softly.

“Wow?”, she asks, teasingly.

The tallest brunette smiles dopily.

“Super wow”, she confirms.

Jennie laughs openly this time, euphoric.

Lisa can only stare her dreamily. She’s still holding her close to her body.

“You are so beautiful”, she whispers, “You are glowing”.

When Jennie’s response is to blush even deeper and smile bashfully, Lisa grins and shakes her head.

“I have no idea of what is happening right now, but I’m not complaining in the slightest”.

Jennie’s cat-like eyes soften. She caresses Lisa’s shoulders with her fingers.

“We’ve got a lot to say to each other, I think”.

The tallest brunette nods in agreement. She lets her eyes fall on Jennie’s lips again and she shifts slightly.

“But, right now…?”

The shortest girl sighs.

“Yes… or… we can kiss a bit more before we actually-”

“Yes, please”, Lisa mumbles, quite rapidly, and they are tangled in a numbing kiss one again.

Jennie parts only for a second.

“By the way, you are not going anywhere”.

“Agreed”.

They kiss once again.

“And-”, Lisa pecks her, unhappy with the interruption, “tomorrow, you are-”, another peck, “ _mmh_ , taking me on a date”.

Lisa pulls away to smile brightly.

“Agreed. You are going to be super impressed, I promise”.

Jennie smiles lovingly.

“Lisa, it’s safe to say that I’m pretty impressed already”.

The brunette giggles against the shortest girl’s mouth, and Jennie can’t help but to chuckle, too.

Only when the stars begin to abandon their place in the sky, defeated by the colors of the sunset, the girls finally decide to part ways, both sparkling in the assurance that they will meet each other again.

-

Some meters away, Chaeyoung is crying out of happiness and relief.

At her side, Jisoo is trying to keep her own tears at bay. She waits for a moment, somewhat scared, and then, it happens. A warm, healing feeling starts to crawl under her skin, wrapping her whole being from the core. She feels raw joy blooming from the inside of her chest, something that she has never experienced before, not even when she was still free.

She hears Chaeyoung gasping, and when she turns around, the blonde is looking at her with eyes full of wonder.

“You are glowing”, the girl mumbles, absolutely enchanted, and Jisoo can’t help but to smile, not out of pride but out of love.

She’s surprised when the tip of her wings begin to detach from her back, spreading and spreading until they are white and glamorous, full on display. The new halo above her head is different from the previous one, more yellow than gold, and she finds it beautiful.

So she stands in all her angelical glory, which Jisoo interprets as a pity gift, since no ethereal creature is supposed to show their true nature in the human world.

“Jisoo…”, Chaeyoung begins, “Nemamiah”, she corrects herself, and the brunette watches as the blonde begins to gesture a reverence.

Quickly, she grasps the girl’s face between her hands to stop her movements. 

Looking at her deeply in the eyes, Jisoo bows in respect. Chaeyoung gasps, and she tries to do the same, but the brunette stops her once again, putting her arms around the tallest girl’s waist.

“It’s all because of you”, she whispers.

The blonde tears up once again.

“Jisoo…”

There is a feeling of mutual understanding but yet sheer desperation to voice everything that’s bottled in their chests. Chaeyoung opens her mouth first, but her expression immediately changes to mild concern.

Jisoo tilts her head in confusion, and then, she realizes that she’s levitating. 

The blonde begins to pull away then, to let her go wherever she wants to be, but Jisoo is having none of it.

“No”, she murmurs simply, and her feet touch the ground again.

Chaeyoung stares at her in utter shock.

“I want to stay to see the girls at least go on their first date, and I want to spend more time with Chaeyoung. I can go back later”, she states firmly, her voice expanding beyond.

“Jisoo… are you sure?”

The brunette smiles at the tallest girl with pure tenderness.

“Of course, Chae”, she answers.

The blonde smiles too, teary-eyed.

“Come here, beautiful”, Jisoo mumbles then, and pulls the girl in for a soft hug, “let’s cuddle and watch the sunrise”.

Chaeyoung giggles against the brunette’s shoulder, feeling elated.

“Cheesy”, she says.

“Oh, you don’t want to, then?”, Jisoo teases.

The blonde kisses her cheek once, twice.

“I would like nothing more”.

“Cool”, Jisoo replies.

She doesn’t try to hide the beating of her heart, or her furious blush, or her infatuated expression.

She lets everything clear and plain, just for Chaeyoung, her savior.

-

“Hi”, Lisa smiles behind Jennie’s door. She’s wearing stylishly worn out tight jeans and a pretty black jacket over a white T-shirt. 

The shortest girl is mesmerized, for a moment, seeing the tallest girl’s long hair becoming even darker at the light of the sun, soft, gorgeous features revealing happiness and anxiety in equal quantities. Setting herself the challenge of ending up with Lisa’s jackets on top of her own shoulders by the end of the date, Jennie smiles brightly.

“Hi, Lis”.

It takes some moments for the tallest girl to react as her doe eyes remain busy delighting in the sight of Jennie, of her high-waisted black pants that flatter all her outstanding proportions, and the delicate blouse adorned with a simple tie that emanates elegance. 

Meanwhile, Jennie reminds smiley, now noticing the bouquet of flowers clutched in Lisa’s hand.

“Are those for me?” she asks then, quite teasingly, and the tallest girl is finally able to meet her eyes again.

“Yes! Yes, of course, I hope you like them”.

Jennie giggles in absolute delight as Lisa hands her the gift. She brings the flowers to her nose -yellow Acacias, secret love- and looks at her date with melting eyes.

“I love them, Lis”.

The tallest girl’s eyes shine with the strength of pride and tenderness as she waits patiently for the shortest brunette to put her flowers in a safe, nice place. Once it’s done, Lisa offers Jennie her arm. The girl takes it, apparently unable to stop giggling like a schoolgirl.

“Ready, beautiful?”, Lisa asks, and her date nods with enthusiasm.

“Where are we going, Lis?”

The tallest girl guides her outside, keeping her steps nice and slow just for Jennie’s pleasure.

“Not far away, really”, she seems suddenly doubtful, “I didn’t want to go overboard for our first date so I just… unless you want to do something else”.

With her arm still around Lisa’s, Jennie leans up to place a soft peck on her cheek.

“I just want to be with you, no matter where”.

The tallest girl relaxes and gifts her date a dazzling smile.

“I want to be with you, too”, she murmurs.

A few minutes later, they arrive to Jennie’s favorite café. She squeals when she realizes that Lisa chose that exact place, and the tallest girl looks at her with her eyebrows raised.

“It’s just… you remembered”.

The tallest brunette grins with her head tilted.

“I kind of know everything about you, so…”

Jennie looks deep in thought for a moment, looking so beautiful under Lisa’s stare that the she can’t help but to kiss her date’s knuckles lovingly.

“Yes, but- oh”, Jennie blushes when she feels soft lips against her hand, “I really like that”.

Lisa laughs then, loudly, embedding everything around her with sunlight, and leads Jennie inside her favorite place in the whole campus with a soft but firm hand placed on her low back. The shortest girl, far from complaining, feels her heart fluttering.

They chat for a while, as easy and content as they always did, now, however, in the midst of loving eyes and somewhat secretive smiles. After their food arrives, red tea and two donuts for Lisa and an extra-large latte with chocolate cupcakes for Jennie, the tallest girl decides to take the shortest girl’s hand for a moment, just to touch her again, and smiles in anticipation when a happy glint crosses through cat-like eyes.

“I’m sorry to tell you this, Lis, but now you will have to hold my hand through the whole meal. I don’t make the rules”.

She’s clearly joking. Lisa knows that Jennie is very, very neat and that she wouldn’t stand dropping food on top of her blouse, not even for the sake of hand-holding. The tallest girl shrugs and smiles back nevertheless, ready to comply.

“My pleasure”.

They eat, then, and when things get too complex, they actually detangle their fingers, but the feeling of comfort is still there, prevalent, sparkling around their private table.

At one point, after hey fall in a comfortable silence, Jennie clears her throat. Lisa finds it cute.

“So, you like me”, the shortest girl says.

“ _Mmh_ , that’s an understatement, but yes, I do”, Lisa answers.

Jennie gets a bit distracted due to the way in which the yellowish light above illuminates Lisa’s grin, but recovers quickly.

“But, when did you realize?”

Lisa blushes slightly. She shifts in her place, suddenly uncomfortable under the shortest girl’s amused stare.

“When I was seventeen”.

“Oh”.

There is clear surprise painting Jennie’s expression, and Lisa feels urged to explain herself.

“I mean… yes. I’ve liked you since I was seventeen, but it’s not like… It’s not like I thought about it actively, because I knew that I had no chance. I never acted on it neither, so Jen, please, don’t think-”

“Love, it’s okay”, Jennie whispers, grasping Lisa’s shaking hand in her own, “It’s okay. I was just curious. I know you. I know the type of person you are”.

The tallest girl relaxes against her seat and tangles her fingers with Jennie’s again. She stares at her for a moment, wondering how in Earth she became so lucky.

“Do you like me too?” she finally asks, and the shortest girl chuckles.

“Very much so”, she answers, nevertheless, her eyes a tad darker. “But as for me, I didn’t realize until a few days ago”.

She waits for Lisa’s reaction with a bit of apprehension, but the tallest girl keeps gifting her a soft, attentive gaze, so she feels reassured.

“I… I think I’ve actually liked you for quite a while, but I was probably not ready to see it, yet”.

Lisa lets her thumb caress Jennie’s knuckles.

“And now?”

The shortest girl sighs dreamily.

“Now is see it very clear”.

They fall into silence, letting burning eyes meet over the table.

“Want to go to my house?”, Jennie murmurs.

She feels the overwhelming urge to be alone with Lisa, and there is no reason for her to hold back.

“Absolutely”, the tallest girl replies, the pad of her fingers buzzing in the need of pressing against soft skin.

She searches for the waiter and pays for everything, despite Jennie’s complaints. To make her happy, she mumbles that she can pay next time before pressing a soft peck just on her mouth.

Jennie licks her lips in appreciation, and, once outside the café, she shivers as a cold breeze hits against her body. In a matter of seconds, she has Lisa’s jacket hanging on her shoulders, plus the tallest girl’s body pressed close to hers.

 _Best date ever_ , Jennie thinks joyfully, and both girls walk leisurely towards the shortest girl’s dorm.

-

“Is this okay?” Jennie asks moments later. She has lighted up some scented candles, put the most chill-but-romantic-chill music she could find, and opened the only decent bottle of wine she had in her student’s fridge. In the process, Lisa has spent some time helping her and the rest of it simply looking at her with an amused expression. 

“It’s perfect, Jen, come sit with me”, she says lowly, siting on Jennie’s bed, her back against the wall.

The shortest girl moves beside her date, then, feeling calmer.

“Too much?” she asks, and Lisa pecks her immediately.

“Perfect”, the tallest girl murmurs, “thank you so much”.

Jennie grins, slight pride blooming in her heart.

“I had a great time today”, she murmurs. She feels Lisa’s arm hugging her waist, and she has to contain an extra happy sound.

“I’m glad”, the tallest girl mumbles, and pecks Jennie’s lips again as if she couldn’t help herself, “I really want you to be happy”.

The shortest girl feels it again, the twirling in her chest, the tingling in her stomach. It’s dizzy, and wonderful, and overpowering, and it makes her want to kiss the tallest girl again and again.

When she realizes that there is no reason for her not to do it, she leans forwards and catches her date’s lips in her own, eager. 

They kiss slowly under the golden lights of the candles, engulfed by a flowery scent, their bodies buzzing and glowing altogether as they re-learn each other, their gasps, their pauses, their gestures.

They pull away after a while, just to stare at each other with all the feelings that their hearts decide to pour.

“I love you”, Jennie blurts out in a whisper, and she doesn’t have time to regret it, because Lisa pulls her in for another soaring kiss.

“I love you”, Lisa answers, mumbling against velvety lips, and they lose themselves in each other once again.

When they pull away again, this time actually taking the time to talk and drink the wine, the tallest girl sighs in relief.

“You know? I have to thank this girl… Roseanne. She told me to come to you… and other stuff”.

Jennie looks at her with interest. Her dizzy mind becomes more alert as she thinks.

“Tall, blonde, soft cheeks, elegant figure?”

Lisa stares at her date in surprise.

“Yes. Do you know her?”

Jennie denies with her head as she keeps thinking.

“Somebody told me to come to you as well. Jisoo”.

Lisa hums, visibly confused, letting her hand trace patterns in Jennie’s back.

“It’s weird”, a deep pause follows, “but, it brought us together”, she decides.

Jennie can’t help but to smile. Lisa looks so gorgeous, warm… sexy. She bites her lip. Sexy, indeed.

“Thinking later?”, she offers, hopeful.

The tallest girl stares back at her, her gaze more intense.

“As later as you’d like, princess”.

She pulls Jennie in for a passionate kiss, and the shortest girl feels like patting herself in the back.

She can definitely, _definitely_ get used to girlfriend Lisa.

-

Chaeyoung is tearing up again, a mixture of utter happiness and deep sadness making her lips tremble.

Jisoo hugs her closer to her chest, blinking away her own tears.

She keeps glowing, steady and golden, and Chaeyoung has started to glow as well.

They know what it means.

The blonde sobs and pulls away slightly to stare at Jisoo right in the eyes. She opens her mouth, decided, but the brunette interrupts her.

“I love you”, she says, loud and clear, and Chaeyoung sobs once again, looking at the shortest girl with pure adoration.

“I love you”, she answers immediately, her voice high-pitched due the ache of her throat. 

Jisoo grasps the blonde’s soft cheeks, then, and does something that only Guardians do.

She kisses her right in her puckered mouth, slowly.

Chaeyoung melts into the kiss immediately, her arms settling around Jisoo’s neck, trying to anchor herself as her soul soars with delight. The brunette slides her hands down to her waist then, and squeezes, joyful, as golden becomes more powerful and white and purple flowers begin to grow at their feet.

“Jisoo”, Chaeyoung gasps when she pulls away, “I love you. I love you”, she repeats, “even if we can’t see each other anymore”.

Chaeyoung is a Guardian and Jisoo is a Dominion. Plain and simple.

The brunette frowns and drags her blunt nails delicately against Chaeyoung’s skin.

“I love you, too. Don’t worry Chae, I’ll find you”, she tells her, tears welling up in her eyes.

Their bodies become lighter, and a white sparkle begins to tingle in their chests.

“I’ll find you”, Jisoo promises again, “We will be together”.

Chaeyoung nods and sobs, trying unsuccessfully to keep Jisoo’s vanishing body against her own.

When the shortest girl kisses again, desperate and full of love, the blonde clutches as hard as possible.

It’s pointless.

A few moments later, a white light engulfs her vision.

-

Nemamiah is taken to a place where everything is as beautiful at it can be, and more. The colors, the shapes, the perfumes, _everything_ shines at the epitome of its potential, and her eyes, used to the void and to the human world, need some time to take everything in.

It’s as wonderful as she remembers, and when she envisions a stream, it appears. When she envisions a cherry blossom tree, it appears as well.

 _It’s beautiful_ , Nemamiah thinks.

But not what she’s looking for anymore.

It was the perfect place for the angel she was before, but now…

Dominions look at her with only a tad of apprehension. Most of them still bow.

She’s looking for something different, not for something that can fill her chest with the joy of pride, no. She’s looking for something that can fill her chest with the joy of love.

A soft voice reaches her ears. It’s different from the one of the void, milder.

_Non beati sunt?_

She thinks for a moment.

“Not completely”, she confesses.

_Quid vis?_

Nemamiah closes her eyes, and she’s taken to a soft stare and an angelic giggle.

“I want to be with her”, she confesses.

_Vos have ut esse mutationem._

The brunette’s expression begins to shine with hope.

“So, can I?”

_Vos have ut esse mutationem, the voice repeats._

“I don’t mind. I want to be with her. I can be a Guardian. I have proved it, right?”

The angels around her fail in their attempt of not staring. Jisoo doesn’t mind.

 _Iustus_ , the voice says, and the brunette feels her limbs tickling.

 _Certus es?_ , the voice asks one more time.

“Yes”, Nemamiah confirms. Her soul starts to burn, “Yes, please”, she says, filling her chest with images of her favorite angel.

When the pain becomes too much, Nemamiah faints.

-

She wakes up in a place where the streams and the trees are already created. As her eyes get accustomed to the dazzling light, she wonders in the beauty of everything she can see.

It’s all _there_ , she just has to look for it.

She gets blessed with the scent of summer flowers, and there is a natural warmth that makes her skin tingle with content.

She turns around, amazed, and just when she’s conscious enough to realize why she’s there, she hears it.

“Jisoo!”

Chaeyoung runs at her with her arms open and her eyes already teary.

 _I’m Jisoo and she’s Chaeyoung_ , the brunette thinks absent-mindedly. _Perfect_.

She opens her arms too, waiting for the angel to fall into her arms.

Her soul thanks her by letting absolute euphoria bloom from her heart.

-

Jennie enters to the ridiculously elegant room with the most dazzling smile illuminating her face.

Lisa is already inside, opening the massive French window that leads to a small balcony. Outside, the sight of the Eiffel tower in the midst of a starry night exudes a beauty almost comparable to the one of the brunette.

 _Almost_ , Jennie thinks, as her eyes fall on Lisa’s perfect features, her lips puckered and her doe eyes enchanted by the sight. Her white dress, hugging her figure flawlessly, makes the shortest girl’s chest hum with a rush of happiness.

“Hey, Miss Manoban”, she says, unable to stop herself.

Lisa turns around at the mellow voice, and her breath catches in her throat yet again. Jennie is looking at her with her cat eyes filled with a mixture of love and desire, and her lips are already slightly parted. The shape of her pristine dress drips elegance, just hinting at the places only Lisa knows with absolute detail. Her chocolate hair, long and wavy, cascades naturally over her exposed collarbones.

“Hey, Miss Manoban”, Lisa answers, and she almost cries one more time, just as she did a few hours ago, promising Jennie to love her eternally.

The shortest girl giggles with sheer delight, and lets the tallest girl wrap her long, steady arms around her waist.

“You will call me that often, won’t you?”, she teases.

She wants it with every beat of her heart.

“Sometimes”, Lisa purrs. She lets her nose caress Jennie’s jaw reverently, “Other times, I’ll just call you _wife_ ”.

The shortest brunette does tear up slightly.

“Lisa”, she mumbles, and the tallest girl pulls away for their gazes to blend, “I love you so much”.

Grasping the back of Jennie’s head delicately, Lisa kisses her with sweet tenderness and burning passion.

“I love you too”, she whispers, and lets her hands search for the shortest girl’s lower back, “so much, love, so much”.

Jennie throws her arms around Lisa’s neck and they tangle in another kiss, this time more urgent, more heated, the shortest girl opening her mouth a bit more so her wife can invade it completely.

Pulling away to mouth Jennie’s neck, Lisa begins to walk forwards, bringing them closer to the petal-covered king-size bed.

“A bit cheesy”, Jennie murmurs between a broken gasp as the tallest girl begins to leave soft bites on her collarbone.

Lisa chuckles against soft skin, prompting a shiver through her wife’s spine, “you love it”, she tells her, and then proceeds to suck rosy spots on Jennie’s skin.

The shortest girl feels her toes curling in slight desperation, so she tugs on Lisa’s dress to send an unmistakable signal.

“Baby, I love that dress, but please, take it off already”.

Lisa swallows a delighted pant, but keeps her hands on her wife.

“Yours first. You looked so beautiful today that I could barely breathe during the ceremony. Right now, though”, she chuckles at her own abandon, “fuck… I really want it off”.

So they both undo ties and zippers, trained fingers working in a haste, and in a matter of minutes, Lisa is hovering above Jennie, her mouth attached to a delicious patch bellow the shortest girl’s prominent collarbones. She tries a bit lower then, her long fingers tracing lazy patterns at the sides of Jennie’s hips, and the shortest girl has no option but to arch her body towards her wife’s lips.

They keep playing for a while, skin on skin, their mouths meeting in wet kisses, Lisa’s thigh stroking between Jennie’s trembling legs, until the shortest girl begins to whine out of pure need.

“Inside”, she demands in a gasp, and Lisa doesn’t hide her big smile. Instead, she bites softly above her wife’s navel, and, feeling too enamored to deny her anything, she gives her exactly what she wants.

Jennie mewls, melting around Lisa, her head thrown back until her wife claims another dizzy kiss. The tallest girl works lowly at first and then quickly, just as the shortest brunette likes the most, and her free hand moves through her soft curves with absolute adoration. 

Jennie’s delight keeps building and building, until her entire body becomes more rigid, ready to finally let go. At the last minute, she grasps Lisa’s wrist, prompting her to pull away. The tallest girl does so without hesitation and without feeling worried, neither. She knows her gorgeous, passionate, flaming lover so much that she can almost anticipate her next words.

“Please, Lis, I want you against me. _Please_ -”

She doesn’t have to plead, really. She does it both because she’s too gone to think properly and because she knows that Lisa would double her efforts if she sounds convincing enough. Surely enough, the tallest girl shifts her body until she’s pressed against her wife.

Everything becomes messier, then, but so, so, delicious, both girls muttering words of love between sweet pants and ragged sounds. It builds beautifully, legs tangled with each other as they seek to melt completely, slow movements becoming sharp, urgent. When Jennie throws her head back in a wave of white pleasure, Lisa falls as well, desperately searching for a shaking kiss that can anchor her, more or less, to reality.

When both girls can think coherently again, they smile in content, soft, loving gazes meeting.

“I love you so much, Jen”, Lisa murmurs, and she searches for her wife’s hand to kiss the golden ring that bounds them in Earth. “I just-”, she begins to tear up, absolutely moved.

The shortest girl cries as well, caressing her lover’s face with her thumbs. “I can’t believe that I got you. I feel so lucky, love. I am going to cherish you every day of my life. I promise”.

A soft sob tickles in Jennie’s throat. She pulls her wife down for a soft peck.

“I love you too, baby. I can’t believe we made it work. I’m so proud of us”, she mumbles, her eyes dreamy, “It feels… it feels as if were meant to be”.

Lisa smiles brightly.

“It does”, she concedes.

They keep staring at each other, long and deep, until something flickers in cat-like eyes.

Before Lisa can ask about it, the shortest brunette moves easily, ending up straddling her wife’s hips. She sports a side teasing smile that makes the tallest girl shiver with anticipation.

“You better be ready, Manoban. Now that I’m your wife, I get to claim as often as I want”.

Lisa squeezes Jennie’s thighs in a sign of challenge and love.

“Bring it on, Manoban”, she murmurs.

Jennie scoots down to pull her in another delightful kiss.

-

When Jennie is finally able to wake up, her body aching in a lovely way, she finds her wife in a white robe just like hers standing in the middle of the room, eying helplessly at a seemingly endless pile of wrapped gifts.

“They sent the wedding gifts?” she asks in a hoarse voice, and Lisa turns to stare at her with doe eyes visibly softened.

“Yes, love”, she answers, and moves towards her wife to peck her sweetly, “Do you want to have breakfast before opening them?”

She gestures towards the full tray on top of the night table, but Jennie’s fingers buzz with the excitement of the gifts.

Lisa smiles teasingly, knowing even before the shortest girl answers that she wants to unwrap their presents first.

So they both stare at the pile, now knowing where to begin. Almost all of the gifts are wrapped in black and white due to Jennie’s mom’s explicit demand. 

However, a few of them, just at the side of the pile, are different. They are wrapped in beautiful golden, adorned by perfectly made bows. They look out of place against the monochromatic pile, glowing and mysterious.

By mutual silent agreement, those are the ones that they open first. Jennie grasps a box, shakes it against her ear, and opens it carefully.

When she sees its content, she frowns.

A crown.

“Pretty”, Lisa murmurs, “looks real, actually. Try it on, princess”, she says. She takes the crown between her fingers delicately and places it on top of her wife’s head. 

The tallest girl observes at her wife for a moment, almost transfixed under Jennie’s amused stare.

“Looks bad?”

Lisa’s gaze shines in wonder.

“Absolutely gorgeous, as if it belongs there”.

The shortest girl rolls her eyes with absolute adoration and pecks her wife’s lips.

“Flatterer”. 

She grasps another gift, a small, rectangular box, and hands it to Lisa.

“Would you like to do the honors, my love?”

Lisa smiles and unwraps it. When she opens the box, she frowns in a sign of confusion.

“A medal”, she says, and shows it to Jennie.

The brunette picks it up and tries to read the engraved text.

“ _For serving… outstanding bravery… Eliza… something_. The letters are quite worn off, but it’s the kind of insignias that are given to soldiers. Eliza must have served in a war or something”.

Lisa stares at the present with a feeling of respect.

“Cool”, she says, “A strong woman”.

Jennie nods in agreement.

“Who sent this?” she asks, then, trying to find a note somewhere, “these are quite… odd”.

“Very… historical”, Lisa concedes, “maybe we can find a name in another one”.

She eyes the biggest gift, golden paper wrapping a slim, rectangular shape that more or less reveals its content.

“Princess?”, Lisa says, and gestures towards the present.

Jennie smiles brightly and holds it with both hands. It’s quite heavy, so her wife is immediately at her side to help her unwrap it.

When the golden paper is gone, both girls gasp loudly. 

It’s a detailed, beautiful portrait of Jennie. Or at least, of a woman in the 1700s that looks exactly like her. 

“What...?”

They both stare at the gift with their lips parted. As Jennie looks at her features with utter shock, Lisa inspects the letters at the bottom of the oak frame.

“Jennifer Kim”, she says out loud. The shortest brunette stares at her wife with her eyebrows furrowed. “That’s her name. Jennifer Kim”, Lisa explains.

“Oh”, Jennie lets out, “She…”

Lisa inspects the painting with bright eyes.

“Looks exactly like you. Absolutely stunning”.

A thought flashes across Jennie’s mind. She kneels down to analyze the bottom of the portrait. A second later, she gasps loudly.

“What-?”

“Elizabeth Manoban. The name of the artist”.

A moment of silence follows. Both girls feel their hearts hammering in excitement.

Lisa moves, then, almost hypnotized, and goes for the next present. She grasps a thick, golden envelope, and inside of it, she finds a series of letters. The tallest brunette gives a half of them to her wife and proceeds to inspect the other half. After they have read two or three, Jennie speaks again.

“Lisa…” she mumbles, but doesn’t add anything. Her wife understands, she always understands.

“I know”, the tallest girl complies, “this is…”

They both look at the last box, glowing against black and white. Lisa puts the palm of her hand against Jennie’s lower back, encouraging, and the shortest brunette grasps the present with utmost care.

They open it together, slowly, and inside, they find a camera, an envelope, and a black notebook. Lisa grasps the camera as an instinct, and Jennie begins to browse through the pages of the notebook.

“A Kodak Box”, the tallest girl mutters, “must be, like, more than a hundred years old. What do you have there?”

“Love poems”, Jennie answers, “for somebody called Lily. By somebody called Jenine”.

Lisa hums. The implications begin to settle in, somehow, and she feels a wave of warmth hitting against her body. Wordlessly, she lets one arm wrap itself around her wife’s waist, hugging her petite body from behind.

Jennie is grateful. Her wife’s presence is always welcomed by her heart.

She leaves the notebook aside to grasp the envelope. With the tip of her fingers, she recognizes the texture of photographs.

“Oh my god”, Lisa murmurs, squeezing her wife against her body as she reveals the pictures, one after the other.

“It’s us”, Jennie breathes in bewilderment.

And it’s them. Almost. In some pictures, they are alone. In some others, they are accompanied by the other. They are laughing, and serious, and distracted, and, in the photographs at the bottom of the pile, they are crying too.

They stay in silence for a few minutes, pressed against each other, their minds desperately trying to put pieces together.

“Love”, Lisa begins then, whispering against her wife’s ear, “what does this mean?”

Jennie turns her head around to stare at her.

“I think… that we have been twirling around each other for longer than we thought”.

The tallest girl smiles big and bright, tears pickling in her eyes.

“Do you think that those girls back then…?”

Jennie sniffles slightly. She feels raw love blooming everywhere, making goosebumps raise in her skin.

“Maybe… maybe they were sent to look after us, who knows”.

Lisa brings her hand up to run her fingers through chocolate locks.

“They did a great job, then. Now we can look after each other”.

Jennie giggles, rising on her tiptoes to place soft kisses on Lisa’s check, on her nose, on her lips.

“I love you”, she says, “I should have known since day one that we were meant to be”.

Lisa shrugs, leaning down, nipping on the side of her wife’s jaw.

“We were destined, anyways”, she whispers on her ear, “Nothing could have set us apart, love”.

Jennie closes her eyes and lets Lisa crate a path of kisses right towards her mouth. Their lips join, content, and their connected souls dance around them, absolutely joyful. 

When the tallest girl angles her head just right, Jennie decides that breakfast can wait, that the rest of the presents can wait, that Paris can wait. Everything falls short against the feeling of her wife’s indents pressing against her skin, anyways.

“Bed”, she mumbles then, and her wife chuckles against her cheek.

Jennie feels hot kisses pressing against her neck, and she gasps. When she gestures to take the crown that she completely forgot about off of her head, Lisa stops her.

“Leave the crown”, the tallest girl mutters, her fingers dancing between Jennie’s thighs, “it looks hot”.

The brunette hums.

“Alright, but if I’m your princess, you have to obey me”.

Lisa’s breath hitches. She squeezes Jennie’s body against hers.

“What princess wants, princess gets”.

They don’t discover Paris until well settled the afternoon.

-

Far, far away, in a place neither girls can reach yet, Jisoo is staring down with happy tears shining in her eyes.

“We did so well, Soo”, Chaeyoung murmurs in her ear, her head lying on her shoulder. She’s crying, too.

“Right?”, Jisoo agrees, and keeps tracing patterns on her mate’s thigh. 

Around them, the colors of paradise crash against each other beautifully.

“It was all worth it”, she adds later.

“Every single thing”, the blonde murmurs.

They both turn around to share their utter triumph by means of a kiss.

When they part, Jisoo glances down again only to rise her gaze urgently.

“Alright, they are at it again. Let’s go somewhere else”.

Chaeyoung giggles and nods.

She stands up, prompting her mate to do the same. 

They smile at each other calmly, secure.

With the colors of the autumn twirling around them, they walk hand in hand towards a sunset.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this has been a long, beautiful ride. Thanks to all of you who took the time to read the increasingly longer arcs, and to those who chose to let a lovely comment as well. Writing is one of my favorite things in life, and I love sharing a bit of that with you. I learnt a lot throughout the fic, it was super fun. I will try to improve my skills to come back with another work you can enjoy soon. An especial thank you (and a big hug) for your love and patience. You are truly the best. Lots of love, readers!

**Author's Note:**

> EXPLANATORY NOTE:   
> This is a piece of FICTION. The last thing I would want with this is to feed ideas can hurt both the readers and the pinks. Jennie and Lisa have a lovely, respectable friendship, so the nature of their relationship in the fic is pure fantasy. Please, let's be conscious of our boundaries as fans.  
> Love,  
> Ef.


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